


Belonging

by My_Angel_Shades



Category: Dragon Age Inquisition - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Adoption, Angry sex., Angst, Blow Job, Canon Divergence, Chess, Cullen Rutherford Fluff, Cullen Rutherford Smut, Cullen Smut, Cullen is cute, Cullen is falling in love, Cullen romance, Cullenlingus, Dorian the teacher, Dragon Age Inquisition, Fanon, Fingering, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Fucking, Horse master, I Love Cullen, Love, Making Friends, Maxwell Inquisitor, Multi, My First Smut, Not Slow Burn apparently, Oral Sex, Outdoor sex., Past Abuse, Rape, Romance, Sex, Smut, Sweet Cullen Rutherford, WIP, attempted rapist, cruel humans, do not read, dragon age Cullen, dragon age smut, hiding who you are, im not good at tags, losing virginity, men fancy elves, non-con, virgin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-03-29 16:03:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 64,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13930488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Angel_Shades/pseuds/My_Angel_Shades
Summary: Oriarna Hibbert has one love, horses.  One job, deliver the horses, but she pledges her life and soul to the Inquisition, she is clueless and naive. Making friends comes easy, forging relationships not so easy.  The Commander of the Inquisition peaks her interest and she his. Can she overcome her nerves and past experience to accept there is room in her heart for another love.





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> I’m new to writing and new to smut. the tags and ratings don’t apply to all chapters. Proper smut chapter 9 and onwards. 
> 
> Sorry, New edit for chapter 11. Lost part of it but found it! I’ve written about 14 chapters so far. 
> 
> If I don’t get completely slated I’ll share more but for now a few chapters will suffice.
> 
> There is art! Eventually. Art, when included, will be added to the chapters relating to it. It is either completely original or digital artwork taken from stock and Worked on. Hope you like
> 
> If you like it please kudos or comment. Hope you like
> 
> So I’m currently rewriting and editing this because as I read it back I found a whole lot of stuff I hated and it made me cringe. Plus I hate that little question mark after my chapters. So the next update will be a rewrite/completion:)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oriarna arrives at skyhold

Oriarna gazed upon Skyhold’s entrance with sheer delight. On this bright and crisp day after the weeks of travelling, further away from home than she had ever dared to go, or ever been given permission to go, she had finally arrived at her destination with her precious cargo, the horses that were to be delivered. Without delay. Naturally, ever the worrier she was a bundle of nerves, the 50 mounts she had brought from her father’s farm a few hours outside of Denerim were all her loyal friends, she loved them all as if they were her kin. 

Skyhold was vast, cold, so very different from her homeland, though looking at the stables to the right of the entrance she soon admitted to herself that stables were stables wherever they happened to be. The horses would certainly be well kept. She had vague memories of Master Dennet from her childhood, her father had often shared a drink or two with the horse master when she had been fortunate to accompany him to the various markets and auctions he liked to attend. Remembering him as a stern but kind man, the mutual respect between Dennet and her father could surely work in her favour she told herself as she spotted him heading in her direction. Slightly sticky palms from moments ago now dripping wet as she smiled nervously, biting her bottom lip. After all, her request was going to be quite unexpected and somewhat unorthodox. Her job description, petitioned by her father, was to escort and deliver fifty of his finest mounts to Skyhold as a gesture of alliance and support to the Inquisition and it’s cause. Little did her father, or anyone for that matter, know of her real intentions. 

“these are the best you have?” Master Dennet was rather more scrupulous than she had anticipated. 

“Yes sir. Our finest. All reared at our ranch with the most rigorous and extensive training in stamina, some have seen combat, all are strong, loyal and obedient sir. They will serve the inquisition well. These are the best mounts in Fereldan.” 

She felt his eyes upon her, assessing her, evaluating her words. 

“in my opinion that is sir.” She added nervously 

“Hmm” he circled several of the horses. Scrutinising, almost as if he wasn’t impressed. She was almost shocked. Rumours of the Inquisition were rife in Ferelden, Oriarna knew they were in need of as much support as possible, why was Dennet being so critical, it made no sense to her. She was able to breath a sigh of relief as finally after inspections were completed his dry, cold facade seemed to instantly fade away with an appreciative nod and smile. 

“Thank you Oriarna. Are you to travel back right away or would you care to rest and see your horses settled in? Oh and please extend my sincere gratitude to your father and send my kindest regards to your family, how is your father by the way? It’s been far too long since we spoke.” He looked towards Oriarna. She felt her initial discomfort fading away completely. She had to do it now. Before she lost her nerve. Before she found herself halfway home and kicking herself for not even daring to ask. She bit her nails anxiously then finally found her voice. 

“He is well sir.” A pause. She looked around the courtyard, it was so impressive, so full of opportunities, it was now or never, all or nothing. Her gaze moved back Master Dennet “Sir, if I may be so bold. I have a request” he raised an eyebrow with intrigue and nodded. She had practiced her speech several times on her journey, gone through it over and over in her head, unfortunately, whether it was nerves, excitement or just panic, it all came bursting out of her. 

“Master Dennet, sir, I have heard of the inquisition, of its cause, values and perspective, and, well, what I mean to say, or to ask, really sir, is……Master Dennet sir, I have first hand experience with every one of these mounts, most of them I have trained from birth, they my life and I do not wish to return to my father’s farm right away. I would like to remain here at Skyhold, as a stablehand, or in whatever capacity you may possibly need me, sir” She inhaled sharply as her rant concluded, realising she hadn’t taken a breath throughout the entire sales pitch. 

She could do nothing but stare at a pebble she’d spotted on the ground. She could feel her hands trembling and her face flush with anxiety. The silence that had fallen remained for entirely too long, Oriarna felt like jumping on to a horse and fleeing from this awkward situation she’d placed herself in. The silence remained another moment or so before Dennet finally put her out of her misery. 

“What makes you think I need any help?” 

She looked up at him in panic, frustrated at her own discourteous manner, this man was one of the best horse masters in Thedas. Perhaps even better than her father, she had no right to suggest he needed her help to do a job he’d likely been doing since before she was even born. “Oh sir forgive me, I wasn’t suggesting that our horses aren’t safe in your hands or that you would ‘need’ my assistance, I meant only to offer to stay.……I’d very much like to stay sir.”

“And what does your father have to say on the matter?” He asked

“He um, doesn’t know Master Dennet sir. I thought if he knew of my plans he would have insisted I remain at home instead of coming here. I’m sure he’d have no objections, after he gets used to the idea that is.” She returned her stare to the floor awaiting his response. Her heart was pounding so hard she thought he would probably hear it were he not quite obviously locked in debate with himself. The idea of returning home wasn’t completely unpleasant to her, but she had absolutely set her heart on staying, even before setting foot inside the keep. 

“Well, I guess we’d better ask the inquisitor.” Her head shot up to look at him with delight. Her bright emerald eyes wide with excitement. “It’s not really my decision you see. But I can’t say I wouldn’t appreciate the help actually. Especially with fifty extra mounts to look after” he smiled as he gestured for her to head towards the stairs up to Skyhold’s great hall. 

*****************

The war room was too warm today. Cullen stood alone, sweat beading on his brow, whether it be from his tedious lyrium withdrawal or from the uncomfortable heat in the room, casually reading through a report from The Hinterlands. He wished he could attend these meetings in something less formal than his full armour or at least persuade Josephine to keep the room slightly cooler. She was clearly used to more comfortable surroundings, ‘what did I expect? She is Antivan’ but his body ran on hot after years of conditioning and adapting. It had been more than a month since their arrival at Skyhold and travelers and refugees were flooding in to pledge their lives and swords to the inquisition’s army. The Commander was going to be busy. He had been busy. Training. Delegating. It was almost daunting to him but he was no stranger to responsibility. And certainly no stranger to war. He pinched his brow and took a deep breath through gritted teeth, the headaches had continued to torment him, both his waking hours and his sleep were plagued as a consequence of his decision to stop taking lyrium. At times, the desire to resume taking it consumed him, the hunger he felt was something he wished no one would ever have to feel, and to know it could all go away with that one little bottle was almost too much for him to endure. 

Maxwell soon entered the war room, followed by Leilana and Josephine. 

“You look tired commander. Are you not sleeping well? I swear I’m only going to offer once more to fix that damn roof in your office!” Maxwell jested. “I thought you would have had enough of sleeping in the snow”. He and the commander had shared many serious conversations over the past few of months at Haven, but only since arriving at Skyhold had they formed a friendship. A mutual respect had developed after the commander had successfully led so many survivors from Haven and Maxwell had all but risen from the dead to be named Inquisitior. They had bantered, laughed and had even shared a game of chess over a few ales. Although the commander had slight objections to the Inquisitiors fondness for the Tevinter mage who had accompanied them since the Heralds trip through time. Cullen had also received his fair share of attention from the handsome tag along, but was definitely not into men, no matter how pretty or insistent they may be. 

“I’m perfectly fine thank you Inquisitor. There are many more pressing matters that need our attention.” 

“Horses arrived moments ago from the Hibbert farm in Denerin. Fine indeed. You can inspect them at your leisure Inquisitor.” Informed Josephine. “Sir Hawke left for Crestwood at dawn, we expect our preparations for you to follow to be complete within the week. May I suggest you take Varric with you, he knows Hawke better than any of us and I’m sure some people would appreciate a break from him.” Catching the slightly unprofessional nature of her admission Josephine blushed and glared at Leliana, hoping she had something to discuss to direct attention away from her now burning face. 

A knock at the door broke the silence. “Enter” Maxwell said, his voice soft but stern. “Ah Master Dennet, what can we help you with?” He noticed a second figure stood behind but slightly to the left of the horse master. Her dark tan winter cloak fastened around her neck and her hood pulled up over her head. Even with the dull shadow cast by the offending item of clothing Maxwell could see she was young and quite beautiful. Her huge eyes shone like bright green jewels as she looked nervously from person to person. Realising her lack of manners she removed her head covering. She wore a head scarf underneath. Like a bandana, wrapped neatly around her head to cover part of her forehead and ears then brought to a neat knot at the back of her head. Ebony tendrils and curls with hints of blonde weaving in and out. She smiled at Maxwell, who seemed to be intrigued by her. He was terribly handsome, short dark hair accompanied by at least a weeks worth of pruned stubble. She saw the questioning glares from both women at the table. She noticed one looked at her with interest and excitement, she had beautiful olive skin and had a look of nobility, definitely not Ferelden, whilst the other was paler but equally beautiful with a quiet look of calm, coupled with a slight air of distrust. Then she noticed the man standing to the left of the Inquisitor. Tall, imposing and utterly stunning. She felt her heart flutter. She was staring and he in turn was staring back, his amber eyes burning with interest, mouth slightly agape. Maxwell’s deliberate and well timed cough brought the pair back to the room. 

“Won’t you introduce us our lovely guest Master Dennet?” Maxwell asked 

“Of course Inquisitior. This is Oriarna Hibbert. Master Hibbert’s youngest daughter. She has kindly offered her aid to the Inquisition. Oriarna, this is our Inquisitor Maxwell Trevelyan, Lady Josephine Montilyet, Sister Leliana Nightingale and Commander Cullen Rutherford. I would like to request that she stay here and help me in the stables. After all there is much work to be done and I am but one man.” The room was silent. “From what I understand she is hardworking and very dedicated to her work.” Dennet patted her gently on the back in reassurance as he made his pleas. “her father and I go way back. Good man he is.” 

“Do you have any particular skills you could bring to the Inquisition?” Leliana asked. Leliana, such a beautiful, angelic name for someone with such a fierce exterior. Oriarna cleared her throat quietly as she gathered her thoughts and tried to avoid appearing to nervous. 

Oriarna looked towards Dennet who nodded in encouragement. “Erm. I uhm. I’ve worked with horses ever since I can remember. Growing up on a farm was fun and interesting. I can tend to them, groom, I can shoe, I even have some experience in alchemy.” She could see the questioning stares from her audience “erm, because horses get sick and injured like people do. I wanted to be able to help them. Plus it’s handy if your farm happens to be a two hour ride away from the nearest town with healers and apothecaries. I’m not suggesting I’m anywhere near as able as the healers and alchemists you have here but I can certainly make a good healing draft or sleeping tonic. Oh and I have some basic combat training with a bow, and daggers, on horseback, so um that could be a……little……useful.” She realised she was rambling on and decided to end her rant there. 

“How old are you?” 

“I’m twenty five your worship. And I cannot remember a day in my life I have not been around horses.” She added. 

Now her audience were looking at one another. That is, all of them except for the commander. Josephine and Leliana were both quietly conversing with the Inquisitor. Cullen found himself lost in his thoughts. They had shared a lingering gaze at one another and nothing more but this woman was captivating. Shy and sweet. She was beautiful and genuine, timid yet ambitious. He had not felt anything for any woman for years. In fact he had almost resigned himself to a life of service and celibacy. Not through choice, but through lack of appealing options and lack of desire to seek any out. A feeling stirred inside him he had almost forgotten. He studied her face, from her striking green eyes, down to her beautiful alluring mouth as she slightly nibbled her bottom lip as the war council whispered amongst themselves. His eyes journeyed further, her winter cape covered more than he would have wanted but he imagined her to be just as beautiful beneath the annoying garment, and beyond that? He tried to steady his thoughts and focused back on her face, she still pulled at her bottom lip with her teeth as she waited. Just as his thoughts were beginning to spiral towards more primal scenarios, such as caressing those lips, wetting those lips with his tongue, kissing those lips, wrapping those lips around his already semi hard cock, he was brought back to himself by an elbow in his rib cage. 

“Sorry, yes, you were saying Inquisitior?”

“Any objections commander?” All three were staring at him in anticipation. As were the two visitors to the war room. He had absolutely no idea what had been asked of him or what he was agreeing to but it made no sense to him to let everyone know he hadn’t heard a word of what was said. “None Inquisitor.”

“Well that’s settled then. Oriarna will aid Master Dennet in the stables. We’ll find suitable accommodation for you whilst you settle into your role my dear.”

“Thank you sir.” She smiled at the other occupants of the war table, her gaze lingering on the commander a moment longer than the others, before exiting the room followed by Master Dennet. The Commander resumed reading his documents trying to get his head back into work mode but he sensed his associates were staring at him. He let out a rather irritated groan and looked up at his three colleagues “what?” He barked. As all three began to snicker and laugh, the Commander shook his head returned to his reading. 

**********

“What’s this room?” She asked, coughing as the stale air and dust assaulted her lungs. The second floor of the stables was mostly barren. Dirty and cluttered with an abundance of creepy crawlies. There was a small side room that attached to the keep but only accessible from some wooden stairs at the rear of the stables. It was littered with junk but had a small hearth and plenty of room for a bed. It wasn’t perfect but it could be. Master Dennet popped his head round the door and frowned with disgust. 

“This? This is nothing. I haven’t even been in here to investigate. You don’t actually want to stay here do you Oriarna?” He seemed genuinely concerned and surprised. “It’s filthy my dear, there’s cod webs and dirt and maker knows what else, your father would be less than pleased if I allowed you to occupy such quarters.” He studied the space just to make absolutely sure he wasn’t being too critical then noticed the look of disappointment on Oriarna’s face. “My dear, wouldn’t you rather have a comfortable, clean room inside the keep?” 

She shook her head. “No sir, I would love to stay here. Close to Silver, Close to my friends. At home, whenever I felt frightened, lonely or even bored, I would go to the stables. I can’t explain exactly why, but I feel drawn to horses. They speak to me.” Feeling a little foolish yet needing to make her point she continued. “I don’t mean literally of course.” She let out a nervous laugh. “What I mean to say is that I’ve always enjoyed their company. Especially Silver, I was there at her birth, she’s my best friend in the whole world. I understand her, I understand all of them, somehow and they understand me. It’s difficult to explain. I would go to the stables and sit with them, talk to them, sometimes even fall asleep in the dirt and hay and I’d always feel at peace. Like I said earlier, they are my kin, my friends, and I would very much like to be close to them sir.” 

Dennet smiled at her and nodded in affirmation. He looked around the room again for a moment then back at Oriarna. “This place is a mess. We’ll have to do something about that. Go downstairs and begin your duties. I’ll see to this.” He gestured for her to exist the room and she did as she was asked and descended the stairs to the stable floor. 

**********

Hours passed as she tended to the horses. There was so much to do she thought to herself as she wiped the perspiration from her nose with her forearm. Despite the bitter chill in the air she was working up quite a sweat. And she loved it. Stopping to look around she absolutely knew she’d made a good decision, she glanced over to Silver, the entire reason she had insisted on journeying to Skyhold, who was happily enjoying her dinner and smiled to herself, she was happy and Silver was happy. She had been 18 when Silver was born and had immediately warmed to her like no other horse. She was pale grey/blue, an unusual colour for a horse, her hair was almost white with bright streaks of blues and greys. They had been inseparable ever since her birth, she loved her and the feeling was very mutual. Silver seemed to understand exactly how Oriarna was feeling, what she was thinking when riding together, to say they were best friends was actually an understatement. 

There had been much activity above her she’d noticed. People coming and going with various items of furniture and junk, Makers knows where they’re going to put all that scrap. She started to feel guilty for protesting to a readymade room inside the keep. She thought it perhaps selfish to have tailor made quarters set up for her, especially given the fact she had only just arrived and hadn’t earned such a privilege.

A voice interrupted her self-condemnation. 

“Nice to see a new face around here, I’m Warden Blackwall, and I’m pleased to make your acquaintance my lady” She smiled at the kind introduction but could see a sadness in his face that she couldn’t quite make sense of. “I take it you’re the reason they’re clearing out that filthy room upstairs. It really was a disgrace. I thought about it myself but the task seemed to daunting.”

“Oh, well I would happily have you take the room if you wish sir. I’m certainly not important enough to this inquisition to trump the needs of someone such as yourself Sir Warden.” He smiled and shook his head with a chuckle. “What?” She exclaimed making no attempt to hide her confusion and embarrassment. 

“My lady, I would have you stay here if that’s alright with you. I quite like my quarters and I have no claim to this space. Besides the horses like you better than they like me. I can just tell.” She knew he was joking but there was still something quite solemn about his manner. “Need any help? The sooner this is done, the sooner we can get our freezing backsides into the tavern for a well earned drink!” He was right. She’d worked tirelessly all afternoon and was more than ready to wrap up the days work. She nodded and Blackwall began to dish out fresh hay and water where directed. They chatted casually about his journeys and the wardens. Deciding to join the Inquisitor and his companions at Haven after a rather eventful encounter in the Hinterlands. He seemed interested in her life growing up on a horse ranch, traveling all the way to Skyhold with nothing but her mounts and a two armed guides was just about the only exciting thing she had ever done but he seemed to want to know all about her nonetheless. Maybe because it differed so much from his own life and upbringing or maybe it was simply because it was nice to have a new person to talk to. 

**********

Later they entered the Herald’s Rest together. She was more nervous than she had been all day. It wasn’t overly crowded but there certainly wasn’t many seats free. Instead of opting for one of the vacant tables, Blackwall headed straight for the largest and most occupied at the rear of the tavern, shyly followed by Oriarna. There, she observed the inquisitor engaged in a rather lively conversation with a terribly handsome dark haired man donning one of the most immaculately pruned moustaches she’d ever seen. To their right was a beardless dwarf. Unusual, she thought to herself having always assumed dwarves and beards came hand in hand. A mischievous looking blonde elven girl sat between a baby faced soldier and a huge menacing looking creature she suspected was a qunari, although she’d never seen one in the flesh. They were intently listening to the dwarf telling some kind of tale. Blackwall indicated to an empty stool and Oriarna took a seat at the table. The qunari, who she noticed had only one good eye, now ignoring the dwarf to study her as she untied her cloak and let it fall from her shoulders, gathering it to rest it across her knee. She fidgeted nervously with her head wrap and tried to avoid the creatures eye that she could feel exploring her. It was impossible, she finally admitted defeat and met his stare. The qunari‘s eye narrowed for a second before his mouth curled into a gentle smile. 

“Everyone. This is Oriarna.” Blackwall placed a hand on her shoulder as everyone turned to acknowledge her. she smiled awkwardly and offered a rather feeble wave to the tables inhabitants. “Oriarna, this is Varric, The Iron Bull, that’s Sera, Krem, you have met our Inquisitior of course, and that is Dorian.”

“Aren’t you a pretty little dish of cuteness? Dorian Parvus, the most interesting man at this table, I’m delighted to meet you Oriarna, would you be so kind as to do me a favour though?” Oriarna looked at him dubiously. “Please have a drink and make yourself at home. You look positively terrified my dear.”

“Should I be?” She laughed nervously 

“Oh absolutely, but we don’t show it my sweet!”

**********

Cullen had watched from the ramparts as Blackwall led Oriarna from the stables over to Herald’s Nest. He couldn’t hear their conversation but from the volume and occasional bout of laughter he assumed they were getting on well. A pang of guilt coupled with a hint of jealousy hit him. Perhaps he should have made more of an effort to talk to her earlier but he’d not felt entirely well. He’d been nursing the same damned headache for hours and was hoping that the cool evening air would help. It hadn’t. He signed and pinched the bridge of his nose. They were improving with time and perseverance, but his withdrawal symptoms weren’t for letting up. His aching limbs and vivid nightmares were a constant nuisance. Maybe a drink would help? No. He’d never been one for drinking, and besides he had a stack of paperwork to attend to. It seemed to be never ending since their arrival at the fortress. His duties must take priority, over illness, definitely over socialising. He made his way back to his office, with no great urgency, for the never ending reports that awaited him were almost as unappealing as his persistent headache. 

**********

Blackwall was slumping on the table singing along to Maryden’s ballad. Varric had retired to his quarters claiming he had ‘much to do tomorrow’. Krem was utterly drunk, still upright but not at all fit for purpose. Sera had moved to flirt with a small redhead across the tavern. The Inquisitor, after trying unsuccessfully to change the subject numerous times, was locked in a rather flirty and inappropriate discussion with Dorian about the pros and cons of restraints during sexual encounters. That left The Iron Bull and Oriarna. She was a novice drinker. The ale was harsh and to keep her ensuing hangover under control she’d done her best to keep her consumption to a minimum but she was still more than a little tipsy. 

“Why do you wear that thing?”

The question was out of the blue. She looked over at the massive creature and frowned. She didn’t understand. Bull was looking at her with concern and warmth. “Excuse me?” 

“Why hide who you are Oriarna?” Bulls demeanour hadn’t changed. He looked over to Krem who was blankly looking into his half empty goblet. Then over to Maxwell who seemed more than engrossed in his interactions with Dorian. 

“I’m not sure how much you know of the qunari Oriarna, I work for the Inquisitior and have pledged my allegiance to the inquisition, but I am Ben-Hassrath. Do you understand?” Oriarna shook her head. She’d heard of the Ben-Hassrath, they acted primarily as enforcers of religious law, re-educators and spies, but what the fuck did that have to do with her? She was confused. He gestured towards his lieutenant. 

“I’m essentially trained to notice shit that other folk don’t. Krem is what the Qunari refer to as Aqun-Athlok. One who is born as one gender but lives as another.” Oriarna looked over to Krem who was oblivious to their conversation. 

“Krem is a woman?”

“No, he is a man. He lives as a man.” He looked back towards Oriarna. 

“You were born an elf, you are an elf, you live as an elf, but you cover your ears. You hide, you do not live as a human or pretend to be a human, so why hide?” Oriarna froze. She hadn’t expected to conceal it from everyone forever but she hadn’t expected to be called out on her first day at Skyhold. “You bind your ears, are you simply living as you feel like you are meant to be or are you hiding behind your bindings? Do you wish you were born different, are you ashamed of your pointed ears or afraid of what they represent?” Oriarna was stunned to silence. She was not ashamed to be elven. She was not hiding, not entirely, she was used to concealing her origin, she had assumed that a human would have been more readily accepted into the inquisition, she hadn’t even thought beyond that yet. She looked over at Sera and realised that she had misjudged everyone and felt a pang of guilt. This was not in her plan, if she had ever professed to having one. She let out a sigh of defeat and pulled her bandana from her head revealing the offending appendages. Iron Bull did not react. He waited. She looked towards the Inquisitor, who was still preoccupied by whatever discussion he and Dorian had moved on to. Krem was now poking Blackwall in an attempt to rouse the now snoring Warden. She took a deep breath. 

“I’m not hiding Bull, I erm, I hadn’t considered my discretion would be viewed in such a way. I wanted to be accepted into the inquisition for merit and not be discriminated against for my origins. I’m sure you of all people can sympathise. I meant no harm.” Oriarna had meant to talk her way out of the awkward scenario she now found herself in but as she looked at the intimidating figure across the table she found herself losing the will to argue. She almost wanted to thank him. The longer her pretence had gone on, the more difficult it would have been to admit her deceit. “I’m actually embarrassed to be honest. I’m not ashamed. I’m really not. I just didn’t want everyone to know of my complex history. Questions will be asked and I’m not sure I want to share my past. Yet.”

“You do not need to hide any part or yourself here, look at this bunch of misfits! And you haven’t even met Solas yet! Hah!”

“Thanks Bull.”

“Don’t mention it newby.”

**********

She felt happy. Tired but happy. It was nice feel free to be herself. Bull had been honest and interested. She’d done her best to reveal only as much as she wanted to. Her lengthy talk with Bull had continued well into the twilight hours. For such a fierce and intimidating creature he was incredibly understanding and open minded. As she walked back towards the stairs she glanced skyward to see the commanders office still lit. It was late and she knew she should just go to bed but rather than heading down the stairs towards the stables she found herself wobbling up towards the dim glow of Cullen’s office. 

**********

Cullen stared at the lyrium box. Lyrium had held him prisoner for as long as he could remember. No longer. He couldn’t give in. He was an ex Templar. He was doing great work. He was strong. He was better. He.... He was ..... struggling, no question. He was sure he heard a quiet knock, it shook him back to normalcy and he looked towards the door to his left. He hadn’t realised how intensely he’d been locked in his inner battle until the ache in his clenched fists became apparent. 

Oriarna thought about running, she had knocked but she could still run, it was dark after all, but she stayed. She stood for what felt like an eternity before the door finally opened. 

The first thing Cullen noticed were her eyes. Still as bright and captivating as earlier in the day, makers breath she is beautiful. He could see her wild flowing hair in it’s true state free from the headwear from earlier, and her ears, her elf ears, obvious once he thought about it, her features were absolutely elven, absolutely dazzling. There was a purity about her, natural unadulterated charm. She had seemed to be almost startled as his door opened.

“Oriarna is everything alright?” He asked as he looked at her, concern written all over his face. 

Immediately she regretted her boldness. She was after all the wrong side of sober. She quickly decided that playing the dumb card was her best bet. 

“Oh I’m dreadfully sorry Commander. I’m quite lost and a little tipsy. I was heading back to the stables. I don’t quite know how I wound up here!” It was pushing it but she knew it was all she had. He wasn’t stupid, how could she think he would be fooled by such a laughable explanation. 

Cullen let out a quiet chuckle. She ‘was’ a little drunk and shouldn’t be wandering the fortress at this hour alone. “You’re quarters are in the stables? Would you like me to escort you my lady?”

Oriarna’s breath hitched. “That won’t be necess…” before she could finish her sentence he was out of the door leading her down to the courtyard “Thank you sir” she replied. 

***********

The walk, however short it was, had been predominantly silent. Oriarna felt slightly ashamed about drawing the Commander away from his work for such a silly endeavour. Walking next to him made her feel so small, his footsteps echoed across the courtyard as he marched her towards the stables. As they made their way through Cullen noted how the horses responded to Oriarna’s presence. Some of them even seemed to greet her return. She said hello to several of them on her way past and one horse in particular even got an affectionate peck on the nose. 

It was at the foot of the stairs that Oriarna realised she hadn’t even seen her quarters since the renovation earlier. She turned to Cullen stepping on to the first step to block his route. She was almost his height from this vantage point and as she looked into his golden eyes she felt a little guilty, it wasn’t fair of her to disturb him at this hour she thought to herself. She had never been a flirt, what had been her goal? To woo him? Seduce him? she realised she was staring, again! 

“Thank you for making sure I got home safely sir.” She smiled, hoping that would be that. There was an odd tension in the air. Oriarna couldn’t work out. Was it sexual? She had little experience with men, none in fact. Nothing in her past to draw upon for a point of reference. She was attracted to this man who was almost certainly desired by many women. It would be stupid to even consider that he might feel attracted to her when there were so many possibilities for such an eligible bachelor. She decided maybe trying a little flirting would do no harm though. 

“Goodnight Commander, I’m sure I can find my way from here and I’m certain I can tuck myself into bed.” He nodded with a smile. She looked at him nervously and cleared her throat, turning to make her way up the stairs. Upon reaching the top she turned to see Cullen making his way back through the stables rubbing the back of his neck. 

Her room was incredible. The dust and dirt and all that awful clutter had all been removed. A small bed placed in the left far corner against the wall that connected to the keep, the hearth had been cleaned and lit, the room was warm and cozy. To the right of the fireplace there was a small table and two chairs and following the room round there was a wardrobe and set of draws to the side of her door. Wow. It didn’t look like the same room even. She entered and closed the door behind her moving to sit on the bed. The day seemed like a blur now that she had time to reflect. The Inquisitor being so welcoming and willing to accept her help. The Warden, so sweet and humble, though he did look a little like he needed a bath and a decent nights sleep. The qunari, so honest yet mysterious. The mage, handsome and confident. The Commander, strong, chivalrous……available. As she climbed beneath the blankets and settled into the bed she smiled to herself. Moments before sleep claimed her she whispered to herself “this is going to be great”.

 

 


	2. By oneself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oriarna finds her way a little, finding that friends are invaluable.  
> Only a little smut.

Oriarna rested her face close to Silvers, eyes closed and whispering words of encouragement. “Ar lath ma ma' falon” She knew that it had to be Silver. She was confident in her friend and was certain that she would be a good match for the Inquisitior. But the idea of her journeying so far away from her for so long weighed heavily on her heart. They had never been apart for more than a day or two, in fact Oriarna had made certain of it over the last seven years of Silver’s life. This was going to be difficult. She felt the lump in her throat and the tears welling in her eyes. No. She had pledged herself to Inquisition, she needed to be stronger than this, she needed to trust Maxwell to take care of Silver just as faithfully as she knew Silver would take care of him. 

“She’s quite special isn’t she?” Oriarna turned to see Maxwell leaning on the stable doorframe casually with his arms folded over his chest. “I’m pleased to see you care so much for these animals, we’d be going nowhere fast without their aid, or yours for that matter.” 

She hastily wiped her tears away using her cape and looked back to Silver. “She’s magnificent, she will serve you well sir. I’ve saddled ten mounts for your journey to Crestwood” she gestured down the row of horses, looking back to Maxwell timidly she continued “I know it isn’t terribly important sir, but this is Silver, then we have Shadow, Flora, Ocean, Echo, Lightning, Misty, Summer, Victory and Jewel. They’re all ready to go sir.” She brushed a stray curl behind her ear then motioned for him to come and introduce himself to his new companion. He brought his hand to Silver’s nose and offered her a greeting. She seemed to take to him immediately and this pleased Oriarna. 

“She has a wonderful energy, some horses can be a little spooked by the presence of my magic, but she seems quite at peace. I know she’s important to you Oriarna. I promise you I will take good care of her.” He put his hand on her shoulder giving her a gentle squeeze and smiling reassuringly. It did actually make her feel a little better. To know Maxwell understood, even to know that he was willing to humour her odd connection to Silver. 

“Please sir, if you wouldn’t mind, please call me Ori, nobody really calls me by my full name except for my father.” 

“Ori it is then. I know you have only been here a little over a week, but may I say you are a breath of fresh air. I’m happy you chose to stay. You have really brightened up the Inquisition. I think even our Commander has a slight spring in his step.” 

“I’m sorry but I have absolutely no idea what you mean.” She tried desperately to suppress the grin and the flush in her cheeks but failed miserably. Maxwell looked pleased with her response and winked at her with a shameless smirk. They both giggled playfully before their laughter was broken by someone clearing their throat. 

“We’re leaving shortly. Please see to it that the horses are by the gates promptly please Miss Hibbert. Good morning Inquisitor.” The woman nodded, turned and was gone. Maxwell shrugged and quickly followed. From what Ori had seen Cassandra was always very serious. Ori didn’t know how to take her most of the time. There was something very intimidating about her, yet she seemed quite fragile and awkward. Having been given a quick overview from Maxwell Ori knew that Cassandra was integral to the formation of the Inquisition. It was Leliana and Cassandra who had tried to seek out the Hero of Ferelden and Sir Hawke before the Maker had seen fit to send Maxwell back from the fade at the Temple of Sacred Ashes. Whatever her reasons for appearing so cold and objective when almost everyone else was so pleasant Ori was unwilling to think bad of her. 

She gathered up the reigns and led several of the horses to the gate before returning for the remainder. The Inquisitors party was gathering along with the soldiers accompanying them. All was ready. Varric, Cassandra and Blackwall were to travel with the Inquisitior, much to Dorian’s displeasure. He made little attempt to hide his grievances as he stood by the gates, arms folded, blatantly sulking. Ori offered a sympathetic smile, the gesture was returned, but she knew he’d be struggling to hold it together. The ride to Crestwood would take around five days, and nobody knew exactly where the group were meeting Hawkes Warden friend. It would be a painful wait for the both of them to see their loved ones return. Dorian and Ori had gotten to know each other well over the past few days. Mostly in the tavern over drinks but Dorian hadn’t been shy about visiting the stables to see her throughout the day too, she knew it was probably due to the Inquisitor’s fondness for her. Ever since their first meeting in the war room Maxwell had made a point of coming to see her every morning after breakfast to check she was settling in and to see that the horses were adequately catered for. She loved the feeling of acceptance, despite only living at the keep for a week she had settled right in. In the back of her mind was her family back home, her siblings, her mother……her dear father. She was certain they would be upset to learn of her new priorities no matter how noble her intentions. 

Soon everyone was mounted and exiting the fortress, Ori watched, heartbroken at the sight of her dearest friend leaving. She fought truly hard to swallow her whimper as she squeezed her lips tight and clasped her hands together. She had to escape. She bolted up the stairs to the ramparts. Her hands gripping the wall as the tears rolled down her cheeks as she wept. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Every part of her ached and trembled with the sight of silver departing, even knowing she would be perfectly safe with the Inquisitor her uncontrollable sobbing continued.

“Oriarna? Is everything alright?” The Commander stood close, his stunning amber eyes searching hers with worry . She hastily wiped her cheeks, embarrassed at the fact she was falling apart over a horse, and tried to compose herself but before she knew it he was embracing her. His massive form completely dwarfing her petite frame by at least a foot. She nuzzled into his hold, taking in his scent, not wanting to let go, still fighting her tears, trembling with emotion. He felt strong and sturdy, it sent a warm tingle through her body. She could feel the cold rigidity of his armour and wondered what it would feel like to hug him minus the cumbersome appendage. She wasn’t sure how much time had past when she was released from his hold but she had managed still her emotions enough to force a smile. His hand immediately rushed to rub the back of his neck, his cheeks were flushed with awkwardness. “I’m sorry if I overstepped any boundaries, I do hate to see a lady crying. Please accept my apologies.” His whole demeanour had changed, from self controlled toughness to this bundle of awkwardness that stood before her and Oriarna found herself feeling even more affection developing for this timid and slightly clumsy man. 

“Commander please do not apologise, if anyone should apologise it needs to be me, my position here is professional and I should remain that way, I’m just sorry you got to see me in such an awful state. It’s shameful.” She looked back over the wall to see the Inquisitior and his companions almost out of sight. “One day I’ll explain why all the fuss over a silly horse. Although it’s not a pleasant tale. But for now, let me buy you a drink at the tavern tonight for your chivalry.” Turning back to look at him, his head now hung, she could tell he had his reservations. His eyes successfully avoided hers for a few seconds before he looked at her again. 

“I do not often frequent the tavern my lady, I regret I am probably not as much fun to socialise with as The Chargers or Dorian”. He noticed the clear disappointment spreading across her face. “Very well, just a couple, I’ll come and escort you later, after supper, will that be alright?” She smiled and nodded in response and moved past him to make her way back to the stables but turned before descending to the courtyard. 

“Thank you. There are probably a thousand things that need your attention Commander and I must get back to the stables.” She forced another smile and was gone. 

**********

She had dreaded her return to work however the stables hadn’t felt quite as deserted as she thought they would. There was still plenty to keep her occupied, though she did miss Blackwall’s monotone chattering. Silver’s empty stall was a little unnerving to see, it brought the unpleasant lump back to her throat and a sickly, heavy feeling inside her. It was crazy to think no person alive could effect her the way her Silver did. She thought perhaps she might be fortunate and Maxwell would find Silver not to his taste and ask for a replacement for his next outing. Unlikely. The day wound down as she had made sure to finish her duties quickly so she could dress nicely and compose herself for the evening ahead. 

**********

Cullen took a deep breath as he exited his office. He’d tried desperately since the departure of the Inquisitior and his party not to get himself worked up but to no avail. He was nervous. There was something about this girl that interested him. She was undeniably pretty, but more than that she had a sweet vulnerability about her, she stirred his inherent need to protect. She had also had an effect in a more physical way too, Cullen blushed as he remembered the closeness of their embrace and his eagerness for her not to notice his inappropriately timed erection. He had to assume she hadn’t. 

He had ditched his armour for a more casual cotton tunic and hurried down the stairs towards the stables, it was cold as the sun began to set and he was longing to be inside, even if that meant he had to suffer the occupants of Herald’s Rest. As he approached the stables he could see Oriarna still tending to one of the horses. When she noticed his approach she smiled excitedly and whispered something to her four legged friend, her eyes never leaving his. She looked beautiful, she wore her hair down as she often did, her wild ebony curls with sun kissed blonde highlights falling almost to her waist. Her body was that of someone who had never sat idly. Toned limbs from years of hard work slaving over horses. Elves were usually slight, almost scrawny but not Oriarna, her petite yet curvy hourglass frame was perfectly complimented by her outfit. She wore a black blouse and leggings, thigh boots clung to her muscular legs provocatively, Cullen watched as she jogged over to grab her winter cape, desire stirring within him as she playfully tossed her hair over the now fastened garment. 

“Good evening Commander” she looked him up and down approvingly “you look so different without that bulky armour”. 

“I do hope that isn’t a bad thing. And you look lovely Oriarna, but please call me Cullen, Commander is so formal, we’ll keep it for official meetings and the war room if you don’t mind.” 

“In that case I must insist that you call me Ori, no one really calls me by my full name.”

“Ori? Ori, I like it. Well, Ori, shall we? It’s awfully cold out here and I’m afraid I’m not used to wandering the keep without my armour”. She linked his outstretched arm with a cheerful giggle and they made their way to the tavern. 

**********

Iron Bull cheered with enthusiasm when he saw the Commander enter the tavern with Ori. Cullen suggested she take a seat and try to calm him down whilst he made a beeline for Cabot. She crossed the busy room, shimmying around tables and chairs to sit herself down next to Bull who was grinning mercilessly. She had expected to find Dorian here too but assumed he must have decided to sulk in his quarters instead. 

“How the fuck did you manage to get Curly to part with his reports? You’ve done the impossible you little rascal, what’s your secret?”

“Curly?”

“I’ll leave it to Varric to explain that one. He likes to assign nicknames. But seriously, how?” 

“No secret Bull. Must be my unmatched charm and charisma, or possibly the fluttering of my eyelashes.” She wiggled her eyebrows and batted her lashes jokingly at the amused qunari “Oh and the slight emotional blackmail. I was upset earlier, he..... comforted me. I felt I owed him a drink, although it now seems he’s the one buying.” She smiled as she looked in Cullen’s direction to see him navigating his way around the tables holding two beer tankards. “He is rather adorable though don’t you think?” 

“Yes…just adorable” Bull said sarcastically. “Curly! Found your way then. Thought there might have been some invisible force keeping you from the more entertaining locations Skyhold has to offer. Then again I don’t think I could refuse an offer to share the company of this little beauty here.” Bull nudged her gently with an elbow and offered Cullen a playful wink before gesturing him to sit down. 

“Must you call me that?” Cullen complained as he made himself comfortable and gave Ori her ale, they clunked tankards and he took a generous drink, half emptying the vessel in one go. “Shit this stuff is strong!” He coughed “how do you drink this night after night?” He asked, taking another gulp. 

“Ha! Need something a little softer there do you Curly?” Bull barked

“I pace myself“ she replied placing her hand over the top of Cullen’s cup. “As should you, I can’t imagine I’ll be well thought of if I’m responsible for rendering the Inquisitions Commander useless from intoxication. Besides, we have all night.” Cullen smiled in reply and Ori felt a flutter in her stomach. Was she actually trying to flirt with the Commander? And was he actually allowing it? Nevermind him needing to pace himself, she needed to make sure she stayed as sober and rational as ever. 

Cullen looked around the tavern. To his delight it seemed no one was really too affected by his presence, everyone seemed to be enjoying the evening. It made him happy to see his recruits making the most of their free time, even if one or two of them seemed to be enjoying it a little too much. 

The evening went as expected, laughter and teasing from Iron Bull and Sera, awkward silence from Cullen with the occasional sound of choking from Bull’s relentless jokes and Oriarna attempting to engage in civilised conversation whilst desperately trying to suppress her desire to grope the handsome man at her side. Sitting next to him all night was testing. Feeling the heat from his arm when he touched her ever so slightly, risking a sideways glance as he licked his lips following a gulp of his ale. She wasn’t used to these feelings, certainly not so quickly after meeting someone. She had never been quick to let people in normally but something told her she could trust this man no question, he was good. He hadn’t needed to come and comfort her on the ramparts, in fact most men would probably have felt uncomfortable with such an interaction. 

**********

It was late when Cullen offered to escort Ori to her quarters as he had previously. She was drunk, he was drunk, Sera was somewhere on the floor, Iron Bull remained his usual self, nothing seemed to affect him, even doubling his efforts having at least two drinks to everyone else’s one didn’t seem to leave him even the tiniest bit wobbly. They left him to continue his revelry alone as they departed from the tavern to more jeering and clapping from the excited qunari. 

“He’s a handful isn’t he!” Ori joked

“I’m not sure how the Inquisitior manages to keep him under control but he should give us some lessons.” He chuckled. “Maybe I should teach him to play chess. It’s relaxing and doesn’t necessarily involve any alcohol.......do you play?” 

“I did, long ago, I’m afraid I’m probably a little out of practice Commander, I mean Cullen, sorry.” There was a pause, they were nearing the stables. “I’m sure a few games would refresh my skills though. One shouldn’t spending so much time in the tavern but it is preferable to spending too much time by oneself.” They arrived at the foot of her stairs “Soon?” 

“Soon, my lady.” She smiled as he placed a gentle kiss on her hand, then he was gone. 

**********

As she got into bed the wetness pooled in her small clothes surprised her. Even from such little interaction she was dripping wet for him. It was unusual for her to feel such a desire, such lust. Most of her previous experiences with the opposite sex had been very brief one sided encounters with shems who wanted to use her, take advantage of her. Luckily having three very large older brothers had its benefits and she had remained untouched. Untouched so far as she had never taken a lover into her bed, but as her own hands, she had discovered years ago that pleasuring oneself was nothing to be afraid or ashamed of. She allowed her fingers to snake towards her dripping sex, moaning as she eagerly drove two fingers inside bringing them up to circle her sensitive nub with her own warm wetness. She enjoyed the feelings the evening had imprinted on her. Her movements soon became desperate and eager as she began to think of him. She imagined his face, his hands, his cock. She could feel her heart racing in ecstasy and warmth spreading through her core as the thought of him sent her over the edge. Her orgasm came quickly and left her a trembling heap in her bed, as she began to drift off to sleep his name fell from her lips. *cullen*

**********

Cullen climbed the ladder in his office to his chambers with purpose, his heart still racing, his cock still hard, as it had been most of the evening. He quickly undressed and crawled under his blankets, settling onto his back he let his hand move to grip his swollen member and started to move. It felt good, so good. A groan escaped his lips as he imagined her holding him, her hand instead of his own, her captivating emerald eyes looking into his as she moved. Her cascading hair falling seductively over her curves. His pace quickened, his grip tightening as he lost all composure. And as he spent his seed over his torso, her name fell from his lips. *oriarna*

**********

Oriarna could hear the sparring as she made her way up the stairs the following afternoon. She’d completed her jobs quicker than usual and was keen to speak to Dorian. As she reached the courtyard she was presented with the magnificent sight of Cullen Rutherford, top less, chest heaving and coated in sweat and dirt, sparring aggressively with a group of soldiers. She stood and stared, unable to look away, it was as though her desire wouldn’t allow it. He was powerful and utterly marvellous to watch. That familiar warm tingling that had begun to accompany the sight of him sent her into a spin. She found a spot to sit before her legs gave way. One of her brothers was a Templar, she’d seen sparring before, this was very different. She had never considered that watching someone fight could be so erotic, it excited her in ways she didn’t think possible. 

“Strong and weak, he has to win because it makes him worth something. It makes him less broken.” 

Oriarna stared at her pale intruder. She hadn’t been aware of anyone approaching her so was a little startled and definitely confused. 

“I’m sorry, but……what?”

“He doesn’t want you to see the broken parts, just the parts you’ll like.” *head pounding, sheets sodden, waking up offers no peace, they mustn’t see*. “You……make him feel less uneven. You help the noises stop.” 

“Noises? I’m sorry but I’m feeling a little like I’ve walked into a conversation half way through. Who are you?”

“I’m Cole, you’re Oriarna.”

“How did you know my name?”

“You’re loud, I heard you, but not because you needed my help, you help too. You sing, I like your song because it helps. Cullen likes your song but he doesn’t always hear it.”

Oriarna looked towards Cullen then back to the boy but he had vanished. She continued to watch the spectacle alone feeling slightly uneasy and bewildered.


	3. No games, just chess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chess is hard but necessary if you hope to woo a Commander

Oriarna skipped her way through the great hall towards the rotunda to find Dorian. Stopping briefly to admire the stunning murals someone had started painting on the ground floor. Somebody had mentioned a rather curious yet remarkable elf named Solas spent much of his time in there. It was exquisite work even though in its very early stages. 

“Teach me to play chess please Dorian?” He was relaxing in his chair with a book when Ori came to beg his help. The upper floors of the rotunder were dimly lit and had a dusty, old smell, like the smell of a chantry, the scent of incense and parchment together wasn’t a smell Oriarna particularly enjoyed. She was more used to the outdoors, fresh cut grass, flowers and hay. She had started to miss home quite a lot. The gentle trickle of the stream and the turning of her father’s water mill, the cheerful clucking from the chickens on the farm, the clattering of dishes and pots from the kitchen as her mothers stew slowly boiled sending a delicious aroma across the farmhouse. 

He snapped the book closed and grinned at her menacingly. “You? Chess? Why? Why in the world would you want to learn to play chess, or is the question really ‘who’ in the world world you want to learn to play chess for?” He wiggled his eyebrows playfully. “A rather large Iron Bull may have let slip about your little evening out with a certain someone. Have you been telling porkies to our dear Commander?

She sighed loudly “oh forget it, I wanted your help not not your ridicule.……I might have exaggerated my chess skills ever so slightly, in fact I may have exaggerated them entirely, I can’t play……at all. I just thought it would be a nice excuse to spend some time with Cullen. HELP! Please Dorian.”

Dorian had a look of utter contentment mixed with malice as his mouth curled into an evil smile. He had spent many hours playing with the Commander, not exactly in the way he wanted to but regardless they had grown fond of one another. 

“Do you have even a little knowledge because our Commander is quite skilled you know?” Ori stared at the floor sheepishly. “Am I dealing with a novice?”

“I’m a complete novice Dorian……sorry”

“You had better go get some wine, this is going to be a long day my dear.”

**********

“You can’t move that piece there! Have you listened to a word I’ve said? Ori you need to concentrate. Chess is a game of strategy, that’s why your Commander enjoys it so. It’s about planning your attack, predicting your opponent’s next move, thinking ahead, you don’t even seem to be thinking let alone thinking ahead.”

“Aughhh! It’s so complicated though Dorian, this was a stupid idea, how do you even enjoy this, it’s so frustrating, how can this be fun! And, I do not mean to slate your teaching skills, but how was the wine a good idea? I’m tipsy……and confused.” Ori buried her face in her hands in frustration “why is the king so helpless, why can the queen do whatever she wishes, it makes no sense” she took a deep breath before looking back to the board and laughing. 

“Er, what’s so funny?”

“How can a castle move? MOVE! It’s just…it’s just……stupid”

“It matters not, those are the rules. Your Commander doesn’t question rules and certainly doesn’t dislike the rules of this game.” Dorian finished the contents of his drink and hummed. “Oh and by the way. The wine was mainly for my consumption, you’re just a greedy little scoundrel. I’m going to give you some homework, you’re going to memorise how each piece is allowed to move and which pieces are most important, then we’re going to play again tomorrow, and I will absolutely go easy on you, in other words, I promise I won’t cheat.”

Ori watched as Dorian drew out a detailed diagram for her. She was very lucky to have him. He had become a person she could rely on for company pretty much anytime she needed it, hopefully he would become a dear friend in time. He’d accepted her elven roots and her humble background. He seemed to value her naivety, a part of him enjoyed his influence on her, often joking that talking to her was like teaching a school child. She knew little about most things that weren’t horse related, he often toyed with her willingness to believe everything he said, seeing her bewildered looks as he plied her with ridiculous facts he’d made up amused him to no end. She didn’t mind, she wasn’t embarrassed that she had little knowledge of the world away from farming and rearing horses, Dorian did have a lot to teach her, about many things. “You do realise I wouldn’t do this for anyone else.” He paused his scribbling to look at her through narrowed eyes before continuing. “The Commander needs to lighten up, I think you’re just what he needs. Here.”

He offered her the parchment which she eagerly snatched to examine. “You think this will help?”

“It certainly couldn’t hurt to give it a quick review.” Dorian stroked his moustache and studied her as she inspected his handy work. “You do realise you won’t beat the Commander, even if I show you some of my ‘special’ tactics”.

“Special tactics? You mean cheating?” She barked laughter at him “I’m not interested in winning Dor, I merely want to spend some time with him and this seemed like a good means to do so. Thank you for this, you’re a true gentleman and great friend.” She folded her prize and pocketed it before jumping up from her seat. “And besides, Varric said your ‘special skills’ leave a lot to be desired, you’ve barely come close to beating him yourself Mr Parvus. Still, I think you’re pretty amazing.” Dorian stood and took an ostentatious bow as she left. 

That night she sat by candlelight she tried to get to grips with Dorian’s homework, determined to get something to stick. He’d certainly put much effort into this and she didn’t want to let him down, what good it would do against a seasoned player like Cullen remained to be seen. She studied the diagram Dorian had drawn her, eyes growing heavy as she battled with the urge to go to sleep. It all seemed a little pointless in her mind, something that probably took years to master, what did she hope to learn in a matter of days. She chastised herself and decided to call it a night. 

**********

“Checkmate!”

“What?” Dorian exclaimed. “Now just hang on one moment. This can’t be right, did you cheat?” Dorian scrutinised the board carefully. “Well, I’m astonished, it only took you a week!” Dorian appeared to be genuinely happy “well done, i was actually ‘trying’ to beat you this time too. You’ve managed to get to grips with this game with incredible speed. I’d say you’re almost ready to take on the Commander, you won’t win of course, he’s far better than I, although something tells me chess isn’t the only activity on the cards between the two of you anyway.”

“Dorian!” She couldn’t help but blush. Her interactions with Cullen had been brief and pleasant all week but nothing of note had happened. He’d seemed distracted whenever they’d bumped into one another, not quite himself. Still he crept into her thoughts and dreams regularly. 

“Ori, with all due respect, you’re not exactly subtle. You can barely look each other in the eyes and don’t think I haven’t noticed you hovering around the practice yard when the Commander decides to spar with his recruits. Can’t say I blame you, Cullen certainly isn’t hard on the eyes.” Dorian smoothed his moustache between his finger and thumb. “You know, you might want to try a little flirtation, show a little skin, he’s so clueless that he’d have to discover you naked in his quarters before he’d get the message!” 

“I hope you’re not suggesting that I should seduce our Commander, because I know nothing of such things!” She really didn’t, every time she had met a man who she found attractive it had resulted in embarrassment as she tripped over her words and her cheeks were set aflame with shame.

“Ha! Nothing? You’re too adorable, but you don’t expect me to believe that do you?” He sat back into his chair, crossing his legs and linking his hands across his lap.

“I’m absolutely serious Dor, what I know of men and relationships could barely fill a thimble, I’ve only been kissed once and it was a very forgettable experience.” She smiled and rose from her chair. “If my first game of chess with the Commander goes well maybe I’ll get you to coach me in other matters!“

“Ha! If you’re referring to what I think you are then I’m quite sure you’d struggle to find a better teacher, although it would be a theoretical approach, no offence but that’s a game I do not play with girls.”

**********

The Commander looked terrible, tired and distant. Ori had sat watching the sparring from a distance, earning a knowing smile from Dorian as he made his way across the courtyard for about the forth time. As another recruit surrendered to his abilities he excused himself and quickly headed towards his office. 

The shadow cast by Iron Bull made his approach less than subtle as he plonked himself down beside her with a heavy thud. “Maybe you should go and see how he is?”

“He’s headed to his office, I’m sure he’s probably very busy. I’m sure he doesn’t need any interruptions from people like me Bull.” 

“It’s not an interruption, it’s an enquiry……or you can just sit here and continue to worry about him, whatever works for you Ori.” 

Bull was right, she would just sit there worrying. It was in her nature to help anyone where she could. Suppose it couldn’t hurt to see if he was alright, he would do the same for her, for anyone in fact. 

She went after him finding his office door slightly ajar. She remained outside. “Cullen? Are you in there?” A few moments passed before he appeared at the door but didn’t invite her inside. “I um, I thought you looked a little out of sorts, is there anything that you need?” He looked terrible, she hadn’t seen him like this. He always had a slight look or weariness about him but his tiredness was very noticeable today, dark circles cradled his eyes and his cheeks were pale despite his exertions in the sparring ring. 

“Not unless you can conjure up a cure for sustained and agonising headaches.” He squinted and rubbed his temple quite clearly in agony. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude but there’s nothing anybody can do, it’s just something I have to learn to cope with, please excuse my frankness but I really need to go and lie down. Enjoy the rest of your day Oriarna.” And the door was closed. She was a little shocked, turning and heading back down to the courtyard she headed straight for undercroft. 

**********

Undercroft was dark…and cold! A cute little red haired dwarf had immediately hopped over to introduce herself. Dagna wasn’t anything like what Oriarna assumed an archanist would look like but then again she didn’t know any. She seemed mesmerised by Oriarnas eyes, referring to them as ‘pretty’ and ‘sparkly’. After finally realising her visitor had business to attend to the giddy little dwarf kindly pointed her towards the quartermaster. 

“Harritt is it? I’m Oriarna, from the stables. Sir I wondered, if I went to speak to Elan Ve'mal about some herbs beforehand I was hoping I could perhaps make use of the potion facilities, Commander Cullen is suffering from a migraine and I believe I can offer him some relief. I’d be happy to pay for the materials sir.”

“A migraine? we have potions designed to help with headaches mi lady, I’m quite sure the Commander will have made use of our resources.”

“I appreciate that you have an impressive stock of potions, but this is something different that my mother taught me to make. If it doesn’t work then I will bother you no further, but please, I would be eternally grateful for the opportunity to try, for the Commanders sake.” She looked intently at Harritt “for the Inquisition’s sake.” Harritt nodded and led her to the stockroom. 

“There’s really no need for you to go and see Elan, and you can keep your coin, we are well stocked.” She was spoilt for choice, there seemed to be every herb and root she could ever need, the Inquisitior had been busy. She went to work, grabbing elfroot, dawn lotus and embrium to start her potion occasionally nipping back for the rest of her ingredients, Harritt watching her every move. Her grandfather had died of a brain sickness so she’d spent hours learning to make potions with her mother, his death had been almost painless due to her mothers potion mastery. Her interest in alchemy had developed further when Crystal, her fathers horse had been struck down with an infection that she struggled to fend off by herself. Ori had spent countless hours experimenting with herbs and roots finally able to ease and eventually cure the infection. An hour in undercroft was all it took and she was soon making her way back towards Cullen’s office. 

The afternoon had turned quite cold and she hurried quickly up towards his door. She thought perhaps she should wait for him to surface before troubling him. She hesitated at his door for a moment, self doubt rearing it’s ugly head. The worst that could happen would be he sends her away as before she thought to herself, she knew she had to try. Knocking tentatively with her held breath she quietly called-it to him “Commander? May I come in?” Nothing. She thought about returning later but was so driven by her need to help that she betrayed her courtesy and entered. There was no sign of him. His office was well ordered and tidy, the smell of leather and dirt clung to the air but was mildly arousing. Being in his office alone was ill advised, stupid, she needed to leave or do something immediately. She looked towards the ladder that led to his sleeping quarters and she climbed. 

The Commander lay semi naked above his sheets in nothing but his breeches, his left arm draped across his face. He was wet with perspiration despite the chill in his room. He appeared to be sleeping but Ori was still careful to approach him quietly. Despite her compassionate motive for being there she couldn’t help licking her lips in appreciation of his magnificent form. He was quite a specimen, she had never seen a man wearing such little clothing. His body was a product of years of combat and discipline, rippling muscles and a multitude of scars. It sent an erotic shiver through her body that made her hum to herself. Not as quietly as she’d thought. Cullen sat up abruptly, startled by the sudden intrusion. 

“Ori! Makers breath Oriarna I wasn’t expecting to be disturbed!“.

His abrupt awakening was just as much of a shock to her as she jumped backwards almost toppling back down the ladder. “Ah…Apologies sir, I meant only to give you this.“ she drew closer, a small vile in her outstretched hand. “I prepared a strong tonic for you Commander, it’s a family recipe, hopefully it will help with your headache. I’m sorry I encroached upon your rest, I’ll leave you to recuperate in peace”. She handed him the potion, avoiding his gaze, and turned to leave. 

“Please, I’ve asked you to call me Cullen, don’t be in such a hurry to go.” He moved to partially cover himself with his blankets. He smiled and indicated for her to take a seat on the bed next to him. Her heart was pounding, her legs could hardly carry her as she felt her arousal growing. Even in his fragile state he looked so attractive, and she was about to sit on his fucking bed! She sat down, still afraid to look at him directly. “Where did you get this?” He removed the cork and sniffed at the contents “I’m not familiar with the mixture, but i trust you and I’m at the point where I’m willing to try anything. Bottoms up!” And with that he emptied the bottle down his throat before letting out a disgusted choke. “Ugh! I should thank you!” He coughed “I didn’t think anything would ever get rid of the taste of that foul concoction Bull made me drink in the tavern, I feel you may have succeeded with this!” He coughed again and examined the bottle, “what exactly have I just drunk Ori?”

“Old family secret, if I told you, I’d have to kill you”. She winked at him after finally summoning the nerve to make eye contact. “Wait and see if it works, I’ll give the recipe to the alchemists if it does the trick” smiling, she summoned even more courage and stroked his cheek reassuringly “please get some rest, no offence but you look like you need it.” She grudgingly dismounted his bed and excused herself. He watched her adoringly as she carefully mounted the ladder back down to his office.

**********

“Are you feeling alright? You’re not doing terribly well today, in fact I may as well be playing chess against a demented nug. Whatever is wrong my Ori?”

Dorian sat forward resting his elbows on his knees, craning his head in and attempt to make eye contact with her. He got no response at first, only a subtle sigh as she sat fixated on her last lonely pawn. Oriarna, had for the most part, managed to keep her concern for Cullen from effecting her but she knew she’d have difficulty hiding anything from Dorian. She was getting utterly thrashed at chess despite gaining confidence in her skills. “Oi, seriously tell me what’s the matter.” She brought her legs to her chest resting her heals on the edge of her seat and hugged her knees. Perhaps she should have stayed with him, perhaps her potion had harmed him, made him ill…more ill, perhaps he was dead! She couldn’t focus on anything. Dorian snapped his fingers several times and finally got some acknowledgement from her. “Oriarna, I’m worried about you.” 

Another sigh as she rubbed her face and crossed her legs “I’m alright Dorian, I just……Have you seen the com………oh Commander!” 

Cullen looked better than ever as he proceeded towards the pair, stunning and happy. Ori immediately began blushing uncontrollably, Dorian erupted into laughter “something tells me you’ll be alright now. Don’t think you’re off the hook though, this game was hardly a challenge.” He gave her a knowing smile and politely excused himself claiming he had important duties to attend. He said something quietly to the Commander upon his exit that earned him a handshake and was gone. Cullen continued his approach with a confident smile, rejuvenated by her tonic. 

“I um, wished to thank you Oriarna. I don’t think I’ve felt this normal in weeks. Whatever you put in that potion you gave me certainly did the trick” Cullen seated himself opposite her at the table and noticed they’d been in the midst of a match. “I’m sorry I interrupted your game“ he surveyed the board and chuckled “on second thoughts maybe I did you a favour, it seems Dorian was only a move or two away from the victory.” She sighed and nodded “Maybe a fresh start? Care for a game? I’m feeling in particularly good form today thanks to you” 

“Prepare the board Commander”. She said, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. 

He did look incredible. The colour had returned to his cheeks, his burning amber eyes now bright with a sparkle of liveliness. A soft contented smile effortlessly graced his lips as he focused on arranging the pieces for the game. Ori found herself in awe of him, he was obviously older than her, well travelled, worldly wise, well versed in matters of the heart no doubt. Was she fooling herself to even consider anything could happen between them beyond a few drinks or a game of chess? Dorian seemed to think she was just what the Commander needed, but she knew he wasn’t exactly the greatest ambassador for relationships. 

“Do your worst Oriarna. Your move first.”

**********

She lost. Spectacularly. But she didn’t care even a little. The Commander was well and glowing and that was all that mattered to her. She was a little disappointed that his victory had come so quickly, secretly wishing he’d taken it a little slower thus allowing her to appreciate the view across the table a little longer. 

“Told you I was out of practice, and I fear I may have actually boosted your talents with my miracle elixir.”

“Perhaps, or maybe you were distracted by my charm and splendour……oh Maker did I actually just say that? I think I’ve spent far too much time around Dorian!” They both laughed heartily. “Maybe with practice you will be more of a challenge my lady.” The effect of his words was instant and she pressed her thighs together tightly as her stomach flipped and her heart fluttered. She didn’t want to be a challenge, she wanted to completely submit. 

“Maybe with more practice I will learn to better distract ‘you’ from your victory Commander.”

“To be the recipient of any kind distraction from you would be a victory in itself I trust”. Cullen blushed when he realised he was flirting, and just how much he enjoyed flirting with her. He remembered that night he’d pleasured himself at the thought of her. The stirring in his breeches immediately drew his thoughts elsewhere in a vain attempt to distract himself from the resulting growth in his trousers. He had appreciated her beauty often. He admired so much about her, from her looks to her demeanour. He hadn’t even considered the idea that he would meet someone in the Inquisition who tempted such emotions from him. She took his breath away. She studied the board as he admired her discreetly. 

“I really didn’t stand a chance did I? I don’t think I’ve ever had such a brief and humbling encounter. Even when Dorian cheats! You’ll have to show me where I’m going wrong.”

“If I told you I’d have to kill you.” He grinned mischievously, yes he definitely enjoyed the flirting. As he sat watching her gracefully accepting her defeat he realised that he needed to make more time for her. She’d gone out of her way for him, she’d taken time to prepare him medicine and he had often seen her calmly sitting in the courtyard watching the sparring recruits being put through their paces. He wanted to be near her, something about being around her made him feel less troubled. 

“You’re such a tease! Well have it your way, obviously I’ll have to double my efforts if I am to best you.” She got up from her seat “we must do this again, it was……illuminating, I’m afraid I have some duties to attend in the stables.” She turned and took a few steps before spinning round quickly “I’m so happy you’re feeling better, I’ll be sure to pass the recipe and preparation instructions on to the Inquisitions healers”.

“Thank you Ori.”

“You’re welcome Commander.”

Cullen cocked an eyebrow as he glared at her playfully. “Sorry, I mean you’re welcome Cullen.” She corrected with a cheeky wink.


	4. New Blood, Old Wounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW
> 
> This chapter contains a traumatic event not suitable for everyone, may upset some readers. 
> 
> Oriarna experiences an unpleasant encounter and the Commander comes to her rescue.

Another week past, more chess, more flirting, and finally word that the inquisitior was returning to Skyhold. Recruits had been pouring in from Ferelden and the Free Marches. Cullen had been inundated with work, taking the time to speak to every new person. 

Skyhold was a sea of new faces, young and old, men and women. It was the first time since the day of her arrival that she hadn’t felt at ease. The place was noisy with rowdy recruits. The stables were her haven, but they didn’t take her far enough away from ruckus and din. She missed Blackwall, always busying himself somewhere close by, he reminded her of her eldest brother Marcus. Her most gallant brother. She felt a little quiver in her lip as she thought of him. His life as a Templar had seen him become entangled in the events at Haven, no one had heard from him in months. He had always been there to look after his younger siblings and in particular Oriarna, although all three of her brothers were insanely overprotective of her. Naturally they teased her and her sister because they were the babies of the family but that was the role of an older brother. She missed them all a great deal. 

That afternoon, following another brief thrashing from the Commander after she’d successfully managed to steal him for a brief chess match, Ori swept the stable floor and thought of her Silver, she was so excited to see her she could hardly concentrate. From the reports Cullen had shared with her it seemed the Inquisitior would be heading west on his next trip. The west was very warm, she wondered whether to suggest a replacement for Silver, journeying the desert was tough for horses. She decided not to let it trouble her, she could always speak with Maxwell on his return. 

“My my, what a beautiful sight to behold!” The sudden intrusion startled her. She spun round to see a soldier calmly leaning against the door of one of the unoccupied stalls. He was young and fairly handsome wearing basic armour and an arrogant grin. “They weren’t lying..... the Inquisition certainly does have much to offer.” Oriarna winced with revulsion at his brash tone. She wasn’t used to anyone other than Maxwell or occasionally, when he had to, Dorian, visiting her in the stables. She felt uncertain of how to make her desire for solitude clear without offence. 

“Is there something I can do for you sir?” She tried not to sound as nervous as she was feeling, she felt uncomfortable and wanted to flee from this stranger. There was something nauseating about this person and the way he looked her up and down, she felt entirely exposed and afraid. 

“Perhaps there is, join me for a drink, I’ve just arrived I would very much like to get better aquatinted with........ Skyhold and all it has to offer.” A vulgar smile crept onto his face as he eyed her curiously awaiting her response. 

She could feel her unease being slowly replaced with anger. To think people like this were being welcomed into the Inquisition. The arrogance poured out of him like a sickly mucus. “I’m afraid I have much to do sir. I’m sure the Commander will see to it that you get properly settled in. Now if you don’t mind I really do have a lot of work to do sir.” The intruder hummed in acknowledgement and was gone. Ori was left a little bemused but was glad of his departure. She hoped that would be the last encounter she’d have with her strange fan. 

**********

“Dorian please don’t make that face at me, I do hate it when you sulk, Iron Bull is sure to be there, and Sera, you don’t need me to come!”

“But you are much better company and you can protect me from their relentless teasing about Maxwell and how he left me here to rot whilst off adventuring. I want to celebrate, and so should you, I’m not the only person eagerly awaiting the return of my nearest and dearest.” He pouted, batting his eyelashes at her. “Oriarna I’ve come all the way down to these dirty, smelly stables to get you now please don’t make me beg!” 

“I can assure you I am absolutely eagerly awaiting Silvers return but I have a ton of work to do. Sera and Bull can’t possibly be that bad. Surely they’ve grown tired of that by now!” They probably hadn’t to be fair but Ori was exhausted. With new faces, came new mounts and she’d been working tirelessly all day long to get all her new guests settled in. All she wanted to do was crawl into her bed and rest her aching limbs. 

“Are you joking? They are unforgiving, intolerable halfwits, they do not tire of such things........ pleeeease Oriarna.” 

“Oh for Makers sake alright, if it’ll make you stop your incessant whining I’ll join you for a while. Wait there whilst I get changed quickly, my clothes stink of horse!” she raced up the stairs and into her room. 

“I think you’ll find it’s you that stinks of horse dear but I don’t complain. Do hurry up. We haven’t got all night!” 

She reappeared, still fastened her shirt. “You’re insufferable at times you know. How do I look.” Dorian rolled his eyes. 

“You look ravishing, such a sight to behold, I am not worthy to look upon such beauty.”

“IN-SUFFER-ABLE! You’re buying!”

“Have it your way my lady.”

**********

Herald’s Rest was busy, very busy. Dorian headed towards Cabot whilst Ori headed for Bull and krem. “Good evening Mr Bull, hello Mr Krem. Room for a small one? Well a small two, Dorian will be over shortly.” She smiled warmly at her friends as they began to shuffle their bottoms to make room for her. “Really packed in here tonight isn’t it?”

“Room for you right here gorgeous....” her shoulders tensed as Ori turned to see her admirer from earlier patting his lap provocatively. She rolled her eyes and looked at Bull who also seemed a little irritated by the man’s attitude. 

“Back in a moment Bull” She squeezed her way back through the crowded room to a rather flustered looking Dorian “oh you’ve the got drinks!” 

“Well that was my job, correct? Or have I misunderstood something my dear, can we please get to a table Ori, it’s mad in here?”

Meanwhile back at the table Bull was struggling with his urge to maim the young recruit sat a table away from him. He watched the young man as his hungry gaze followed Oriarna’s every move, he didn’t appreciate his friend being leered at like a piece of meat. “Hey! Boy, don’t get any ideas about my friend there. She’s already sweet on somebody and it’s in your best interest to keep your distance. Understand?” Bull clenched his fist as he watched the boy, who actually seemed impervious to his implied threat. 

The young man emptied his cup and laughed in defiance. “We’ll see about that big guy. Enjoy your evening, oh and mind your own fucking business.” He got up from his seat and left, good thing too, Bull didn’t want to cause a scene, it had taken every ounce of his self control to stop from launching himself at the man. 

“Did he leave Bull?” Ori was standing next to him with Dorian in tow. 

“Yes, he’s gone. Who was that little asshole?” 

“Im not sure, must have arrived today, payed me a visit earlier today at the stables. I’m glad he’s gone though, something very ‘off’ about him.” 

“He’s not right Ori, you should stay far away from guys like him.”

“Don’t worry Bull, I have no intention of being anywhere but far away from him.” She seated herself next to him and surveyed the tavern. “Why is it so busy in here tonight, there are so many people I don’t recognise.” The air was thick with the smell of sweat and dirt. The tavern was noisy and bustling, even Maryden couldn’t be heard above the din. 

“The Inquisitior has been busy on his travels, lots of guys arriving from the Hinterlands and Crestwood. I’ve been sitting here most of the day, not all of these people belong here. Not yet. They’re scared and desperate. I’ll speak with Cullen tomorrow, see if he needs my help with anything.” Ori looked at Bull, his usual playful facade nowhere to be seen. Oriarna knew Bull could see a lot where others saw nothing, and she also knew that despite his fierce exterior and fondness of a good fight he wasn’t quick to cause conflict where none was needed. Something didn’t feel right.

**********

Ori stayed for an hour or so but found herself feeling more and more exhausted. Yawning loudly she excused herself and hugged Dorian before she bid everyone goodnight. 

“Don’t you be mean to my friend here or I’ll find one of those freakishly large spiders that inhabit the stables and leave it in your bed!” She turned to leave offering a little wave to the table. 

“No sneaking up to the Commander’s quarters on your way home either you little minx!” Ori spun back round to look at Dorian in horror “I know everything that happens dear, and what I don’t know isn’t worth knowing.” He joked. 

Iron Bull watched her closely as she left. The tavern was still busy if not even busier than earlier, she hurried through the mob of drunken patrons hoping not to bump into her friend from earlier again, and was soon outside. She hadn’t realised how warm it had been in there until she was met by the cool chill of the evening air. She shivered with the sudden rush of cold. It was dark in the courtyard with only a few scattered torches to light the way. She dashed down the stairs and headed straight for the stables. A sound from inside made her stop, someone was in the stables, someone who wasn’t a horse. She narrowed her eyes searching the darkness for the source of the noise. Stepping closer to the stables with her breath held the shivers caused by the cold evening air were soon forgotten and replaced by anxious shivers.

“Hello gorgeous, fancy seeing you here.” A figure stepped quietly out of the shadows. It was the same man she had encountered twice now. She immediately felt her pulse quicken and her stomach twist. “I’m a little upset you wouldn’t come sit on my lap up there, your friend seemed to object to my invitation almost as much as you did, now I think you should say sorry, and we’ll forget the whole thing.” She looked at him with utter confusion, then gasped as she saw the knife in his hand. “That beast you call a friend was quite rude to me, he seemed to think you had your eye on someone here at Skyhold, one night with me will be more than enough to satisfy your desires.” He stepped forward. Just as she turned to flee she felt his grip on her arm and was thrown against the wall. She wanted to scream but couldn’t make a sound. He stood pressed against her, the knife in his right hand, she sobbed and silently pleaded for someone to help her. She was too frightened to make a sound, couldn’t be certain if anyone would even hear it if she did cry out. She was frozen with fear as he sucked at her face and neck. His body was pressed against her painfully, his foul warm breath reeked of alcohol. “You like it don’t ya, dirty little knife ear, only one reason we keep pretty little things like you around. Now let’s see if we can put a smile on that pretty little face.” Then, in the blink of an eye he was gone. Gripped and flung to the ground. Cullen pounded into him with his fists and boots. Iron Bull allowed the frenzied attack to continue for only a few seconds before intervening, pulling Cullen back from his target. 

“He’s done, that’s enough Commander.” 

Cullen stood, chest heaving, his resentment not willing to subside yet. He looked towards Ori who was sobbing and trembling from head to toe staring at the ground. “Ori………Oriarna are you alright? Bull was concerned for your safety and came to alert me to this man‘s unsettlingly behaviour, did..........did he ’do’ anything? Did he hurt you?..……Oriarna?” He offered a hand to her. 

“NO!! Don’t touch me, don’t anyone come near me!” She ran. Away and up to her room slamming the door behind her. 

Cullen’s attention was drawn back to the man on the ground at his feet. He groaned in pain as the Commander pulled him to his feet. He was no older than twenty, probably one of the new recruits that had arrived that morning. “What makes you think that kind of behaviour is acceptable? What makes you think you have the right to treat anyone that way?” Cullen glared at the man awaiting his response. “Answer me boy!”

“You better answer him now you little prick” Bull growled

“Who fucking cares. She’s just a fucking elf! She was fucking lovin’ it sir, I know what girls like her are good for, and I know a jealous man when I see one.……didn’t like me putting my hands on your smutty little knife ear did you Commander………couldn’t you hear her moans, couldn’t you see she was enjoying every minute of it………sir?”

“ENOUGH!” It took all of Cullen’s resolve not to unleash another attack on the disgusting man before him. “You will leave here immediately, you are not welcome in the Inquisition, if I ever have the misfortune of seeing your face again you will rue the day you met me. Do I make myself clear boy?”

The man grinned arrogantly “clear as day Commander, if that’s the worst you’ve got I kinda wish I had fucked her.” 

“What the did you just say?” 

“I said I should have just fucked her anyway. Dirty little whore would have loved it!”

Before Bull could act Cullen had drawn his sword and in one motion buried it deep into the young recruits chest. He stood for what felt like an eternity, unwilling to withdraw his weapon from within the monster before him as a whimper escaped his blood soaked lips. The look of disbelief and panic gradually faded as life slowly drained from his eyes and Cullen finally retrieved his sword and the now limp and lifeless body fell to the floor. They both stood in silence as what had just transpired dawned on them. Cullen stared at the boys corpse still panting, still hysterical with anger. Finally it was Bull who spoke. 

“Go check on her Cullen. I’ll have my boys clean up this mess.” Cullen took in several deep breaths and headed towards the rear of the stables. He was still shaking as he climbed the stairs two at a time towards her room. 

Cullen knocked softly on the door. “Please go away!” 

“Ori, I wish only to see that you are unhurt” he knocked again with more urgency “please Oriarna!”

The door flew open. “Unhurt? Un-fucking-hurt? Yes Cullen I’m unhurt, he didn’t hurt me. I’m not hurt, okay” the door slammed shut in his face but didn’t lock. He stood for a moment before opening it slowly and entering the room. She sat with her elbows resting on her table, clutching her head wrap tightly. “You see, things like this make me never want to take this off. People like him make me wish I wasn’t me.” She paused, Cullen looked at her for permission to remain, she pointed to the other chair and he swiftly moved to sit opposite her. She looked back to the material she fidgeted with, went to speak but hesitated. 

“What is it? You know you can trust me Ori.” He let his hand move towards her to offer her a gentle touch but quickly changed his mind as he saw her body tense with fear. 

“Comm… Cullen, this isn’t the first time something like this has happened to me,” 

“What? Here in Skyhold? Who, who Oriarna?”

“No, not here in Skyhold, back at home, when I was about seventeen. My father often hired help, especially if we had a few mares foaling around the same time. He hired a young man from Denerim one summer, we became friends but my father ran out of jobs for him and unfortunately he had to let him go. A few weeks after his departure I was cleaning saddles in the back room of our stables and he appeared out of nowhere. He told me he’d found another job, but he missed me, he said he thought there was something between us and he had to see me. I told him I missed him too, as a friend and offered to take him to the house to get some supper but he blocked my way and pushed me to the ground. I struggled beneath him as he tried to kiss me. I bit him, hard, on his cheek. He lost it, slapping me across the face. Told me that elves should know their place, told me I would learn my place. If one of my brothers hadn’t walked in at that moment as dragged him off me I don’t want to consider what would have happened.……they took turns beating him, my brothers, Francis and Jacob. As far as I know he hasn’t been able to walk since, even with healers.……he was supposed to be my friend. But in the end he saw me as everyone else did, he wanted to hurt me. He did hurt me.” She sobbed quietly into her scarf “I was not the same person after that happened, I hated everyone, trusted no one, I was deeply unhappy for sometime. It was the day Silver was born that changed things for me. She gave me a purpose, I don’t know how she did it but it was as though she reminded me how to smile.”

Cullen was lost for words. He had almost forgotten she was different from him, he had stopped noticing her ears. Elves had spent centuries suffering, most were suffering still in various ways. He felt sick, she really did need protecting, she’d needed protecting her whole life, the Inquisition was supposed to do that. He was supposed to do that, yet she had still come to harm and he was partly responsible. He had vetted all the recruits himself. Had he been so eager to bolster the Inquisitions army that he’d overlooked the suitability of this man? “Ori……I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, that man will trouble you no more.…… Oriarna can you ever forgive me?” He could barely bring himself to look at her. Guilt and shame hitting him like a lightning bolt. He felt the tentative touch of her hand on his, a gentle reassuring squeeze followed. 

“Forgive you?” Ori looked at him sympathetically, she couldn’t have him blaming himself for this. “Cullen you did nothing wrong, nothing you did made this happen, nothing you could have done would have prevented it.” She got up from her seat and placed her scarf a draw, went over to her bed and sat, her head dropping to her hands. 

“You must be exhausted Ori, if you’d like me to go then I’ll trouble you no further this evening.” She didn’t react, didn’t even move, although it was the last thing he wanted, Cullen rose and moved towards the door to leave. 

“Please………please stay, until I fall asleep, I would prefer not to be alone Cullen.” She lifted her head to look at him, her beautiful green eyes wide with sorrow. He smiled at her and nodded. Ori climbed beneath her blankets whilst Cullen preceded to remove his armour. Despite the bed being so petite she barely filled it and he found there was more than enough room for him as he climbed onto it and settled down above the covers beside her. She immediately rolled onto her side to embrace him, tucking her arm under his shoulder nestling into his chest. “Thank you Cullen. Thank you for being here for me tonight, now and earlier. Thank you for staying. I don’t know what would have happened if Bull hadn’t fetched you to me. I don’t know if I can ever repay you.” She squeezed her eyes shut, desperately fighting her urge to cry again. “What happened? Where is he?”

“He’s gone, do not think on it further.” Cullen felt his heart pounding with anguish, now was not the time for her to learn of his fate. He looked down at her tiny body wrapped around him, she was so harmless and innocent, he felt as though he were the one who had been stabbed through the heart. He squeezed her gently and soon sleep claimed them both. 

She didn’t know when he had retreated to his own quarters but when she woke Cullen was gone.


	5. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oriarna receives a visitor and everyone learns a little about her.

“Horses approaching Commander!” The lookout yelled

“The Inquisitior?”

“No Commander, too few“

Ori could hear a commotion at the gates from the stables where she was shoeing Autumn and Prince and watched as the new arrivals made their way into Skyhold. She could see a three men, the taller of them speaking with the Commander, he had short grey hair paired with a liberal grey beard. She squinted, not certain if her eyes were betraying her. She abandoned her task without a second thought and started towards the group, her pace quickening as she realised who it was. Cullen pointed in her direction and the taller man turned to her and smiled. She was now running as fast as she could, she lept into the mans arms, tears now rushing down her cheeks. “Papa!” She held on to him, frightened it was all an illusion or she was still asleep. “What are you doing here? Is mama alright? Has something happened?” She dropped to her feet and looked up at him. 

“Imagine my surprise when I receive a crow, telling me that my youngest daughter, whom I trusted to escort my mounts to Skyhold then return home, has decided to pledge herself to the Inquisition without any forewarning.” He eyed her for a response but got none, she could see he was devastated, not angry. “Oriarna why didn’t you tell me of your intentions, did you think I would deny your request? That I would see you bound to that farm when I know you want more.” 

His companions, whoever they were, were quickly ushered away by the ever thoughtful Cullen whilst Oriarna stood silent. 

“I’m sorry papa, I just thought you might try to change my mind if you knew. I wanted to help, and Silv……”

“Oh Oriarna! You’re here because of a bloody horse? Makers breath, this is madness”. She felt ashamed, had what she’d done really been that reckless? She had never disobeyed her father in her life, his trust was always well placed in her and now she felt like she’d taken advantage of it. “I left as soon almost as I got the letter, if the Inquisition will have me perhaps I’ll stay a few days and see for myself what keeps you here but I warn you I have every intention of persuading you to return home to your mother.”

Josephine had made her way down from her office upon hearing news of the newcomer. She hurried towards the gates with a panicked look on her face. “Apologies sir but we were not made aware of your plans to visit.” Josephine waved a messenger over. ”We’ll see to it that your stay here is comfortable sir”. She turned to the messenger “see to it that Master Hibbert is provided with suitable quarters for the duration of his stay.” She turned to the horse master “do not hesitate to call into my office if you wish to discuss anything further Master Hibbert.” 

“Please, call me Edward”

“Horses approaching Commander!”

“Is it the Inquisitior this time?”

“Yes Commander sir!”

“Then I think perhaps Inquisitior approaching might have been a more suitable cry my friend“ Cullen joked. 

**********

It was great to have everyone together back in Skyhold. Ori had spent the entire afternoon getting the horses settled back in. Blackwall had insisted on helping, entertaining her with tales of their time in Crestwood. It sounded pretty gruesome, Blackwall spoke about demons and walking corpses almost as if it were just part of normal life. Oriarna felt sad as he explained ‘the calling’ to her, she was annoyed that he hadn’t mentioned it to her but also angry she hadn’t realised her friend was coping with such a thing by himself. Everyone knows dying is only the end of physical life, all know death can come at any time to bring us to the Makers side, but to know exactly when? To seek death and embrace death, the thought of it sent Oriarna’s head into a spin. 

She sat with Silver for a while, telling her about her handsome Commander and learning to play chess. Silver seemed happy, but Ori could sense her friend had missed her. Every time Ori stopped stroking her she was promptly nudged to continue. They both felt whole again. 

Maxwell and Dorian had offered to show Edward around Skyhold, Maxwell was intercepted by a messenger and coaxed away into the war room halfway through the tour so Edward and Dorian had continued alone. 

“She’s quite special your daughter, I can’t say I’ve ever met anyone quite like her.” Dorian considered his next sentence “you’re not, erm, very similar are you?”

“Hah I suppose we’re not. That’s a story for later. I’m going to have to get her permission to tell that tale. She’s a lot of things my Oriarna. Kind hearted, affectionate, diligent and somewhat tenacious. And I am sorry to say she owes much of that to my wife.” Edward paused and looked around the courtyard, he saw soldiers sparring energetically. People wandering in and out of the tavern. He looked back to his tour guide “I can see the appeal, but her mother misses her so, I struggled to keep her from accompanying me here but it wouldn’t have been good for either of them and I was afraid to leave me farm in the hands of my sons, they can’t always be relied upon, not like my Oriarna.”

“Shame, I have no doubt she’s a delight if Oriarna takes after her.”

“Indeed, a quick drink? I’m afraid I will succumb to tiredness soon but I believe I can manage a couple.”

**********

Everyone except Solas and Vivienne had decided to meet in Herald’s Rest that evening and get to know the new guest. Even Cullen agreed to come along. As Ori seated herself between her father and Cullen she noticed everyone staring at her and her father. “What? What’s going on? Do I have something stuck in my teeth?” She stared at the occupants of the table waiting for a response. Cole seemed to be actively checking if she did in fact have something stuck in her teeth. “You’re all weird, what’s wrong with you all?”

“I’m gonna let the dwarf take this one”. Declared Bull. Ori looked to Varric and cocked an eyebrow. 

Varric began “Well, the thing is Ori………Master Hibbert, sorry I mean Edward, we kinda thought your father would be a bit more…………like you, ya know, a bit more Elfier.”

Ori and her father looked at one another and both broke out into fits of laughter. Edward, after all was completely human, even when elves and humans had children together the resulting offspring were always human in appearance. “Oh my dear fellow, I do apologise for my manners, but how many elves do you know who are Masters of their own eight hundred acre ranches?” Still smiling he placed an arm round Ori’s shoulders and squeezed her closer “my wife and I found and adopted Oriarna when she was four, best decision we ever made dare I say.” There was nothing but adoration and tenderness in his voice when he spoke about her. 

“Rescued and adopted actually, so I am inclined to agree with you father” Ori smiled “for both our sakes of course” she added. 

Varric placed his elbows on the table, resting his chin in his palms “I feel like there’s a story here, do we get to hear it or what? Inquisitior? Curly sure wants to hear it don’t you? Ruffles looks interested, what about it Tiny, you wanna hear it don’t you?”

“Okay, but what’s with the nicknames? And why haven’t I got one?” Ori glared playfully at Varric. 

“It’s just a bit of fun, and………I haven’t thought of one for you yet. So, do we get to hear this story?”

Edward looked at Oriarna urging for her to consent to his tale. “I’m afraid it’s up to Oriarna, it’s her story, and not all of it is pleasant.” 

“It’s alright papa, I suppose it couldn’t do any harm.” 

“Alright, but first, a round”. Edward waved to the barmaid who promptly brought over the drinks and he begun. 

> A little over twenty years ago, a long time before the Blight and rifts, just outside of Denerim, our ranch was growing and prosperous. I’d taken over the farm from my father as age had started to get the better of him. I’d been working for him for years, I knew everything I needed to about it. But we had a big problem, wolves. I was losing around three rams every evening. A horse almost every week. It was concerning, they were growing bolder, coming closer to the farmhouse. I was worried for my family’s safety. Along with my wife, I had three young sons and a young daughter to think about. So on this particular night I decided to sit in wait, see if I could discover numbers, see what I was dealing with. It was late when I heard the disturbance towards the river and I headed straight towards commotion on my horse. Whatever had happened I had unfortunately missed it. I dismounted to investigate the remains, a ram, one of mine. My horse had decided she was heading down river, I yelled and gave chase but she was far too quick and I had to sprint to keep up. When she finally came to a halt I was relieved, I bent forward to catch my breath and chastised Crystal for running off without me. That’s when I noticed blood everywhere, some kind of violent encounter had taken place, there was dead wolf and the savaged remains of an elven woman. The river roared, I thought I heard a faint cry. I searched for the source and looked to see a man, an elf, badly injured and clinging onto a boulder roughly halfway across the river. I screamed to him to hold on, but he looked so weak. His eyes pleaded with me as one of his hands drew me up and onto the boulder, where a child lay. “Please, I beg you. Help her……” and he was gone. Swallowed by the torrent. 

Edward seemed to falter his words with a slight tremble of his bottom lip, the memories of that night obviously causing him some distress. He cleared his throat and took a gulp of his drink whilst he tried to regain his composure and continued. 

> I searched desperately for a way to get to her, it was a miracle he had got her safely over there in the first place. The water was moving so quickly, I felt powerless and terrified. I panicked when I saw Crystal was already heading across to her, battling the rapids. I felt utterly helpless as I paced up and down the riverside. The child stirred as Crystals nose nudged her gently. They looked at one another and all I could do was watch and wait. The few tense minutes that passed felt like an eternity but eventually, with my breath held, I watched as she carefully climbed and settled onto Crystal’s back and they made their way toward the riverbank. I carefully coaxed the tiny quivering girl into my arms and held her tightly. She was one of the most beautiful creatures I’d ever laid eyes upon, I treasured her from that moment.……

The table was silent. Some sitting with mouths agape. Some of them crying. Oriarna realised Cullen had taken her hand, stroking her knuckles gently with his calloused thumb, she looked down and then to his eyes and felt an affectionate squeeze as he smiled at her, his own tears unashamedly coating his cheeks. 

> When I arrived home, my wife was as besotted as I was. But she swiftly reminded me of the harsh reality that this child may have a family of her own somewhere. I was torn but I decided to return to the riverside and search for clues, anything that could direct me to her origin. I found several documents and left for Denerim the following morning only to discover an awful chain of events had led to this terrible tragedy. The family were from the alienage in Denerim, both her parents worked for a lord, a guest at his home had shown interest in Oriarna’s mother. It was not reciprocated and as a result he had put a price on her head. It had been Oriarna’s father who had suggested they flee Denerim. There was no extended family, no aunts or uncles, she was all alone. On my return home my wife and I discussed what should be done and both agreed she should remain with us and vowed to take care of her as though she was our own child. It took a long time for her to settle in. She seemed to be happiest when she was around the horses so we just allowed her to find her own way. 

“I think understand Ori.” She turned to look at Cullen as he spoke. “Is Crystal Silver’s……” 

“Silver’s grandmother, Crystal’s daughter was Silver’s mother.” She looked pleased to learn he’d joined the dots for himself “I cannot describe how I feel around her, how I felt around Crystal, I just know that there is something deeper between us than master and horse. I felt Crystal before I even knew she was there, I called to her from that boulder, she led my father there because she knew I needed her.”

“That’s a bloody understatement!” Edward coughed “she didn’t say a damned thing to anyone for weeks, but she whispered to those horses every chance she got. In fact we called her ‘whispers’ until she finally found her voice!” Ori noticed the excitement on Varric’s face at her fathers admission. “Anyway, I think I’ve talked enough for one evening, it’s been a long day, I think I will retire.” He stood and leaned to deliver a kiss to Oriarna’s forehead “Goodnight, it was a pleasure to meet you all.”

Everyone seemed to be lost in their own thoughts. The table was still and quiet, almost like everyone was holding their breath. Finally Cullen broke the silence “I’m afraid I am equally tired, I hope you don’t mind if I also withdraw from this gathering.” 

“Only if you escort me to my quarters first Commander” Oriarna was already moving to stand, still holding his hand tightly. Their tandem departure was met with jeers and whistles from their comrades. 

**********

Ori felt nervous once outside. She still had hold of Cullen’s hand but felt no desire to let it go. They walked together in a comfortable silence. As they reached the foot of her stairs, their usual point of separation she continued, leading him up towards her door and then inside her room. Once inside she finally released her grip and sat down. 

“One last drink?” 

“Just one, I wasn’t overstating my tiredness in the tavern.” She poured him a cup of wine she’d procured earlier in the day and he took his seat opposite her. 

“I’m afraid it tastes a little like dragon piss but you’ll certainly sleep well” she joked as she handed him the cup. “Look, about my fathers story………he means well but he does tend to make me out to be this unfortunate, helpless creature. Something to pity and pray for, I hate it in a way.” she paused, considering her next sentence. “I probably sound ungrateful. I remember very little about my life before they adopted me. I have scattered memories but they almost feel like the remnants of a lost dream. What they did for me, what they do for me, I can never be more thankful for. I love them.” She paused again “The last thing I want is for anyone to feel sorry for me Cullen, I’ve felt it my whole life. The sympathetic looks, the judging stares, I was happy to leave them behind when I came here. Now everyone knows who I am, what I am, it’ll be like being back home where I’m treated like I’m going to break at any moment. Please Cullen, if there’s anyone here who’s opinion I care about it is yours, please promise me you won’t change the way you are with me, promise things will always be as they were.” 

Cullen looked at her, he thought for a moment then stood. “I can’t” he spoke softly and remained where he was, looking deep into her eyes. “I’m sorry Ori, I cannot do as you ask, I cannot promise to keep things as they are.”

She hung her head and quietly began to sob “why?” She whispered 

He was over her, he brought his hand to her chin tilting her head to look at him. He ran his thumb across her cheek to wipe away a falling tear. “Ori, please do not misunderstand me, I cannot promise things will remain as they were, I would not want them to, I have come to care for you, if things were to remain as they were or even as they are now then you could never come to care for me as I do you, we could never………forgive me.”

And he left abruptly leaving her alone and confused.

 

**********

Edward thought Skyholds stables were impressive, massive and spacious, Oriarna certainly had plenty to keep her busy. He was starting to understand why she had chosen to stay and was slowly accepting the idea that he would have to depart for home absent of his daughter. 

He took a deep breath, inhaling the wholesome and familiar smell of hay and horse. “So, how is my darling girl really? Is the inquisition all you hoped it would be? Has Silver settled in okay? Rest of the horses doing well?” 

“Everything is wonderful” Ori paused as she recalled the encounter with her attacker but chose not to tell her father about it. After what had happened all those years ago he had been excessively protective of her, almost coming to blows several times after spotting what he deemed as inappropriate behaviour. “I’m settling in well, everyone has been very welcoming father.” She continued dishing out hay to the horses whilst her father quizzed her. 

“How long?”

She stopped “How long what?”

“All those visits to Denerim as a teenager and the only thing you ever seemed to want is to blend in with the rest of the family. You couldn’t be parted with that thing no matter how hard we tried. How long did you wear that ridiculous head scarf?” He knew her better than anybody and grinned playfully as she rolled her eyes and tutted noisily. “I’m your father, I know you Oriarna and I cannot imagine you just walked through the gates with your ears out for all to see. But I’m surprised to see you so at ease here, it makes me happier to know you are thriving in this place.” 

“Alright, I lasted less than a day, but I have the Iron Bull to thank for that. He called me out within a few hours of us meeting but in my defence he is in effect a spy.”

“The qunari ay. He is Ben Hassrath? They have a good eye, you’d have to be incredibly adept to escape his scrutiny, he seems to really care for you though Oriarna, they all do, I feel it was probably a good thing that you had to be honest from the get go.” 

She hummed in agreement and a short silence fell. “Father, why are you here? You could have sent a crow, or a messenger, why did you come here in person?”

“I wanted to see this place for myself, I suppose I was just as curious as you sweetheart.” 

“You’re lying!” She began to cry “I just wish you could be honest with me!” 

“Like you were honest with your mother and I?”

His words cut through her like a cold dagger. He was right. Oriarna had no reply, she had lied. Before leaving the farm, even before her parents had agreed she could leave, she knew she was going to try and join the Inquisition. Her deception far exceeded her father’s. 

“Oriarna I……”

“I was so happy when I saw you arriving, I couldn’t believe my eyes, but I knew this would happen and it pains me to know I was right. I knew you’d turn up here to ‘check up’ on me try and convince me to abandon my duties and my friends. What’s so wrong with me wanting to explore, to see the world outside of the farms fences, my whole life you have wrapped me up and hidden me away, I had to practically beg you to come anywhere with you.”

“That was for your benefit, not mine! You were alone, vulnerable…different.”

“Different? So you were embarrassed? Ashamed? ”

“Oriarna Hibbert that’s enough!” His raised voice startled her “You are more precious to me than anything in this world, how could I be ashamed of you? You may not be my own child, but I love you as if you were. Your parents gave their lives to make sure you kept yours, and I am not about to dishonour their sacrifice by putting you in harms way. My only purpose in this life is to make sure the people I love are safe and protected. You could never be an embarrassment to me, not a day goes by where I am not proud to call you my daughter.” He had tears of his own in his eyes now. “I know you are happy and safe now so I will return home. I do not want to remain where I am not welcome.” Oriarna rushed towards him and threw her arms around him. She sobbed into his chest. She missed her family a lot, her mother was no doubt feeling her absence, she had forgotten just how much she needed her adopted family. She wept uncontrollably for a while, absorbing the familial smells from her father’s clothes she had almost forgotten, the faint residual scent of the flowers that blossomed at the end of their garden, honey and cinnamon from her mothers baking. It all reminded her of home, her old home. Her father clung to her tightly and sobbed along with her. 

“I’m so sorry papa” she whispered. “Forgive me” She looked up to see his warm eyes glazed with tears. He smiled at her. “Please don’t leave straight away papa, I do rather like having you here.”


	6. Learning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oriarna gets schooled, so does Cullen. Solas is a bit of a dick bit we know that. Cullen finds a way to Ori’s affections regardless.

“Dareth shiral ma' falon” Oriarna pressed her face to Silvers as had become their parting ritual. 

“You speak Elven, you are not Dalish, I see no signs of the vallaslin, I wasn’t aware alienage elves were taught such things.” Solas studied her from the stable entrance. 

“Apologies if I have offended you, I barely speak it, I just learnt a few phrases when I was younger and I have no idea if I’m saying them right. I don’t know, I must seem foolish, it just felt like something I should at least know a little about. I know almost nothing about my race or our history.” 

She hadn’t seen much of Solas, she had heard plenty about the mysterious elf but most of it had been negative. Lighthearted, but negative. From what she knew he barely left his rotunda and only really spoke to people when he needed to. Solas had rarely found reasons to explore Skyhold but was pleasantly surprised to find this intriguing and beautiful creature. “You have not offended me, my name is Solas. I’m sorry we haven’t had the opportunity to meet until now. If you wish to learn then perhaps I could find time to show you a little of what I know. I doubt there’s enough time to teach everything and I’m afraid elves of ancient differ greatly from the elves of today. Just as the elves in our alienages differ greatly from the dalish. I suspect much of it would bore you but if you’d like to visit me in the rotunda sometime I’d be pleased to explain some of your history.”

“Our history you mean?”

“Hah, yes, I’m sorry, I find I have little in common with many elves, I often refer to them as ‘they’ and ‘I’ not ‘us’.”

“Aren’t you accompanying the Inquisitior to the Western Approach? They’re leaving momentarily.” 

He shook his head looking slightly disappointed. “Not on this occasion. The Inquisitior feels that given the nature of the task at hand he should take as few mages along as possible, he’s taking the warden and Cassandra, along with Master Tethras .”

“But, isn’t the Inquisitior himself a mage?”

“Yes, but he can’t very well stay here now can he, I will leave you to complete your preparations. Goodbye da’lin.” 

Oriarna continued to saddle the rest of the horses in peace. Grudgingly saddling Silver for the Inquisitior. How many more times would she be needed. It had broken her heart the last time she’d had to watch her leave with Maxwell. She pressed her face to Silvers neck and whispered to her “stay safe my treasure”

Soon she was once again bidding farewell to her friends. However this time she felt a little less sadness, with her remaining friends and her father around she knew the following few weeks of Silvers absence would be easier to bear. 

 

**********

Days passed. Cullen had remained in his office all morning, he hadn’t eaten or slept much, his symptoms had worsened again. He’d even chosen not to see the Inquisitior and companions off a week ago, his work seemed to never end, after dealing with a pile of paperwork he’d return from sparring to find a new stack of reports that needed his attention, he was exhausted. Ori’s potions were helpful but it seemed like wherever he took a step forward, soon after he’d take two steps back. He sat down at his desk and exhaled loudly. A knock on his door made him jump. ”come in”

“Commander……I’m not intruding am I?”

“Of course not Master Hibbert, how may I assist you.”

“Commander I’ve asked you repeatedly to call me Edward.”

“Apologies, Edward, was there something you needed?” Cullen squinted and pinched his temple. 

“Is everything alright Commander?”

“Just a headache, it’ll pass”. Cullen stood from his chair moved to the front of his desk trying to mask the discomfort he was feeling from his aching limbs and tired eyes. 

“You should go see Oriarna, she can mix you up a little something for that I’m certain.” Cullen blushed at the mention of her name. Edward moved into the room, noticing the ladder in the corner. “If you’re not careful you’re going to end up never leaving this room. Join me at the tavern, I’d very much like to get to know you.” He was right. Cullen’s office was quickly becoming a place of sorrow, even being able to retreat up his ladder to the humble room above offered him little comfort. 

“I appreciate the invitation sir but I’m not sure I would be very good company at the moment. I still have much work to do. Perhaps another time.” If he was hoping that would be enough to deter the man he was mistaken. 

“Nonsense lad, if anyone has anything to say about it I’ll deal with them myself.” With that he motioned to the door and Cullen felt powerless to refuse his request. Very much mistaken. 

**********

As they walked across the bridge towards the main keep Edward paused and looked out across the fortress. “Fine place you have here, you must be incredibly proud to be a part of something so important. Makes me proud that Oriarna can be a part of it.” 

Cullen felt his cheeks flush again at the mention of her name. He hadn’t seen her in a few days, and before that preparations for the Inquisitior’s expedition to the Western Approach had taken up much of everyone’s time. He had missed seeing her but his admission in her room had made him cautious around her. He knew he hadn’t said it in a ‘plain as day’ sort of way but he had made it clear that he was harbouring feelings for her. She had made no effort to seek him out in the days that followed and he had decided not to make a nuisance of himself by pursuing her. He looked towards the stables hoping maybe to catch a glimpse of her at work but was disappointed when he couldn’t see her. 

They entered the rotunda and were not surprised to find Solas there, however both were quite dumbfounded by Oriarna’s presence. Her and Solas were sat down at a table in middle of the room, they seemed engaged in some kind of discussion and were joking and laughing together. The Commander was stunned by the scene before him. He felt a sharp stab of jealousy and felt his fists automatically clench. He hadn’t realised they were so well acquainted, he didn’t even think they had ever been introduced. 

“Oriarna! My darling, I wasn’t expecting to find you here, the Commander and I are going for a drink. Perhaps you’d care to join us later.” Edward made his way towards the table “what are you two up to?” 

“We’re reading about elves papa.”

“I’m showing Oriarna something of her history, she showed some interest in learning about her origins and I suggested I might be of some assistance. Although ancient elves are quite different from the elves we see wandering the dales and inhabiting our alienages.” He casually sipped from his cup and placed a hand on Oriarna’s arm. “I may eventually wish to retract my previous enthusiasm, it seems she can’t stay away.” Solas offered a warm smile to Edward and then a rather smug smile to Cullen. The Commander felt his blood boiling *he knows! He knows I’m jealous, and he’s enjoying it! Conceited little shit!* he tried to hide his contempt, choosing to focus on the murals Solas had started painting, he had to admit that they were pretty good. Cullen and Solas were civil to one another but Cullen struggled to find anything about him he liked. He was pompous, abrupt and completely lacking in manners. Enjoyed the sound of his own voice far too much. No, Cullen did not care for the elf, not one bit. 

“Well that’s wonderful to hear, I’m afraid she was given little opportunity to learn such things from us. I’m pleased she has someone to help her understand her roots.” Edward placed his hand on Oriarna’s shoulder. “Right, we’re off to the tavern, come on Commander, let’s leave these two fine people to their history books. I’m buying.”

They continued their walk to the tavern, Cullen still feeling angry, hairs standing to attention on his neck, heart thundering in his chest as the waves of sickly jealousy engulfed him. He needed a drink more than ever now. Edward seemed to be enjoying the stroll, nodding to everyone he passed. If only they had chosen the other route to the tavern he wouldn’t have been confronted by that awful sight. Now he had even more reason to dislike him. By the time the two men arrived at Herald’s Rest Cullen was ready to drink the place dry. 

They sat alone, despite Bull’s animated cries to join him. Edward looked at Cullen and the Commander could only avoid his stare for so long. 

“Commander” he began 

“please call me Cullen, especially in here of all places.” 

“Cullen, I wanted to thank you.” Cullen looked genuinely perplexed, Edward probably noticed because he immediately continued “My Oriarna is perhaps more dear to me than life itself. But she’s fragile, she’s naive and maybe even a little dense at times. I don’t mean she is not intelligent, what I mean to say is, she is very trusting of people, even though she has been hurt in the past.” The Commander remembered that night he had come to her aid and wondered if she had told her father about it. He hadn’t yet told her that he had killed her attacker, she hadn’t asked what had become of him since that night and he could see no benefit from her knowing now that she had started to put it behind her. “I cannot help but notice the bond that the two of you have. She speaks of you with great admiration.” He paused and seemed to chuckle at something he just thought about. Cullen watched as Edward seemed to have a conversation in his mind, then he spoke again. “Cullen, may I ask you something?” He nodded in reply. “Oriarna, she is special to you, do you see her as more than a friend? I see the way you look at her, the way you looked at that elf just now. Am I right in assuming that you would like something more between the two of you?” Cullen stared mid mouthful, he swallowed and placed his tankard on the table. 

“Master Hibbert……Edward, first may I just say I agree with everything you said, about Ori, about Oriarna. She is fragile and naive, I’ve felt very protective of her since the day we met. But she is also enchanting, sweet, thoughtful, beautiful, I could never find enough words to describe how wonderful she is.” He rubbed the back of his neck anxiously, took another gulp of ale and continued. “I have thought of many ways in which I could show her how much I care for her but nothing seems sufficient. I um………I’m not sure I should be speaking to you about such things.” Cullen felt embarrassed, he almost wished Iron Bull would come and interrupt or Sera would appear to make fun of him, anything to provide a distraction for him. No one ever seemed to be in the right place at the right time. He felt like a cornered fennec.

“Rubbish lad, I asked you didn’t I? She is my daughter but she is not a child anymore, I’ve had to deal with the staring and the inappropriate comments since her teenage years.” Edward noticed Cullen’s growing anxiety. “Please do not misunderstand me Commander, I see none of that in you. It’s just occurred to me that she has finally attracted the attention of someone worthy of her……affections, heart, love.……. When all is said and done I’m just the same as any parent looking out for their child, I just want to see her happy Commander.” Cullen struggled to respond as he processed the mans words. 

“Sir I appreciate your blessing, but as I said, I’m struggling to find a way to show her just how much she means to me.” Cullen sipped his cup placing it back down and fidgeting nervously with the handle. 

“The answer is right in front of you my dear fellow, Oriarna has two loves in this world, caring for horses and riding horses, seems to me that the easiest way to her heart is to take her riding, take her out of Skyhold, I think both of you could use the time away.”

“Huh, I hadn’t thought of that, you could be right sir.” Cullen felt a little better, the man wasn’t out for blood, he wasn’t angry or domineering, he was simply looking out for his daughter. He tried to forget what he’d seen on his way over to the tavern, he eventually decided he needed a more drinks to help with that. 

They enjoyed a few more ales together, neither content to allow the other to buy the last drink. Cullen thought that Oriarna was incredibly lucky to have been saved by this man. He talked about his wife and children with all the enthusiasm and tenderness of a doting family man. 

The Commander felt good on returning to his office, and a little tipsy, he chose to go back through the rotunda and was relieved to see neither Solas or Oriarna were there. Unfortunately this prompted him to wonder if they had retreated somewhere else together, maybe his room, or even her room. He decided to satisfy his morbid curiosity and headed into his office and immediately back out onto the ramparts that led down to the stables. 

The place was deserted, apart from the horses. He searched around wondering if maybe she was tending to one of the mounts. She obviously hadn’t had any work to do because Cullen soon found himself at her door, he stood for a moment, afraid to knock when the door flew open. 

“Cullen! What are you doing here?”

“I ah, how did you …ah I’m sorry for disturbing you at this hour, I……”

She giggled “those are wooden stairs Cullen and I’m afraid you have the stomp of a druffalo haha” 

Cullen blushed and peered around her into the room, he was glad to see she was alone. “I have been chatting to your father.”

Ori rolled her eyes “Oh? go on…”

“He gave me an idea I think you’d like. Perhaps you’d enjoy a ride.”

“Pardon?”

“Uh sorry, what I meant to say was perhaps we could take a couple of horses and go for a ride outside the keep, take in some of the views, get some fresh air, what do you think.” 

“Oh Cullen I’d love that!” And with that she lept up and threw her arms around him and squeezed him tightly. He wasn’t expecting it and almost lost his footing as he stumbled backwards slightly. She smelt so sweet, like nectar soaked flowers in the springtime. Dorian often made fun of her claiming that the smell of horse had imprinted in her skin but Cullen could swear he had never taken in a more delicious scent. “Tomorrow? Please say we can go tomorrow.”

He chuckled “I’ll see what I can do”. He let her go grudgingly and bid her goodnight before practically skipping back to his office. *lets just hope Leliana and Josephine allow me to go*

**********

Oriarna was a magnificent sight when she was on a horse. She flew through the gates of skyhold shrieking with excitement. Cullen struggled to keep up, he rode faster trying to catch up to her. When he finally laid eyes upon her again she was still, stood by a frozen lake still mounted on her horse. She noticed him approaching and smiled at him, her eyes wide wide with happiness. His heart seemed to skip a beat with the sight of her, she was oozing happiness. He walked his horse towards her and they stood side by side appreciating the view. Cullen took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. Ori kept her eyes on the view, taking in her own deep breath of the fresh clean air. The view, although it was magnificent, paled in comparison to her. 

“Thank you for this Cullen, it’s wonderful. I’d almost forgotten the feeling. Riding horses was my life before I came here” she looked to him, his eyes were fixated on her face. “it’s not all that I imagined but I suppose I didn’t really know what to expect.” She broke their eye contact to stroke her horses head then looked back to Cullen and smiled. “You aren’t what I expected.”

“What were you expecting?”

“Oh I don’t know, a fierce, frightening, domineering Commander of the Inquisition’s army……perhaps a man I should fear, not lo… like.”

Cullen caught her slip and felt movement in his trousers. He felt bold. “And? Am I not fierce and domineering my lady?” He asked, a smug grin on his face. He was hating his horse right now, he wished he could take hold of her and tell her, show her even, how much he wanted her. She looked so beautiful as the cold chill in the air turned her nose and cheeks to a rosey blush. 

“You are nothing of the sort, Prince certainly doesn’t think so” she joked, indicating to Cullen’s horse who snorted in response. They began to walk the shore of the lake, trading stories. Cullen couldn’t help but admire her pert bottom from behind her as she encouraged her horse into a gentle trot. Ori felt completely at peace. She never felt this content in all her life. She had never wanted for anything material growing up, only acceptance and freedom and she felt as though she finally had both. But with the realisation that all her dreams were coming to fruition, new desires that had always seemed insignificant beforehand, such as love and intimacy beyond that with her family, started to invade her thoughts. There had always been something missing from her life, there had always been a part of her she’d hidden away. She’d never been truly happy, even at Skyhold where everything she thought she had ever wanted was given to her without question, she’d craved for more. Cullen could see that. This was a good idea. She was beaming, and never looked more beautiful. As he watched her drink in her new surroundings he felt his heart would burst with happiness. Maybe it was the fresh air, maybe it was the adrenaline, but as he sat on his horse watching her he began to wonder if falling in love with her would be such a terrible idea, perhaps he loved her already. 

They rode around for hours but it felt like minutes. The sun was almost setting by the time they returned to skyhold. Cheeks raw and pink from the chill of the mountain breeze. Cullen was sad to bid his riding buddy farewell. “I shall not forget this day Prince.” He whispered as he removed his saddle and nodded in appreciation. “Put in a good word for me would you lad?”

‘All done? I’m sure they enjoyed it just as much as we did. They haven’t been out since they arrived, it was good for them.” She stepped closer to Cullen hands on hips then took a step closer and took his hands in her own, “it was good for me too.……thank you, you’ll never know how much this meant to me Cullen.” She placed one hand on his cheek affectionately. “Can we do it again sometime soon? I know you’re busy so I understand if you can’t but I have to ask because today was so wonderful.” 

“I most definitely hope so Ori. Today was good for me too, I’ve never ridden a horse for pleasure before. It was a very different experience to what I’m used to.” Cullen gave his horse one last stroke of his head “besides, I think Prince likes me. Now you must forgive me but I hadn’t intended on staying out for so long, I expect the stack of paperwork on my desk to have doubled in size. Today was wonderful Ori, please enjoy the rest of your evening.” He turned and began to head towards the stairs up to the ramparts then felt her hand on his, he turned and she embraced him tentatively. He brought his hands around her and held her gently. That scent again, he drank her into his lungs till he felt almost dizzy. 

“Thank you Cullen,” she whispered “from the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

He summoned the strength to let her go and looked deep into her eyes, their faces were so close to one another he could almost taste her. *I could just kiss her, I want to, I think she wants me to, Makers breath she’s so beautiful* she gazed up at him *is he going to kiss me? I wish he would, I could just pull him down to kiss him, would that be proper?*

“Ah you’re back!” Master Dennet’s poorly timed arrival shook the pair and they immediately separated, Cullen moving his hand straight to the back of his neck, his normal anxious reflex. “Did you have a good day? The horses look like they enjoyed the run. Oriarna I have a few jobs I need you to do before the day is over if that’s okay?” She nodded to Cullen and he returned the gesture and left. 

“Right sir, tell me what needs to be done.”


	7. Holding On and Letting Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori struggles with her fathers departure and finds comfort from an unexpected source. Cullen is a fool, Dorian knows this.

Ori had worked until quite late. The sun was starting to disappear behind the mountains as her duties were concluded. She laced her boots and headed for the tavern, excited to meet her father. He and Dennet had been thick as thieves whilst he’d been staying at Skyhold. She felt as though she’d barely seen him, a part of her assumed that her fathers absence was his ‘oh so subtle’ way of keeping his distance after encouraging her and Cullen to spend more time together. She didn’t mind it, she enjoyed him being at the keep but also enjoyed the fact he wasn’t imposing himself on her. She was free to go about her duties with no distractions, well almost no distractions, Cullen had taken her out riding once more and they had grown closer as the days continued. She often thought about that evening they had returned from their first outing with the horses, had he wanted to kiss her as much as she had desired it? She would look up to bridge whilst busying herself in and out of the stables to see him there, he’d offer her a smile and a wave before continuing whatever he was doing, she would wonder how long he’d been stood there waiting for her to take notice. 

As she arrived at the door to the Herald’s Rest she was greeted by a grumpy Sera who seemed to be avoiding Dorian over some misunderstanding about the Inquisitior. She was sat on the ground muttering something to herself. From what Ori gathered She had teased him over being left behind once again, Dorian had launched a savage verbal attack on the elf and suggested she disappeared before he turned her into nug. Ori wasn’t sure if that was even possible but Sera seemed to take the threat seriously enough. Heralds Rest wasn’t busy, in fact it was unusually quiet. 

“Where is everyone Dorian?”

“I think there’s been word from the Maxwell, something about blood mages and wardens and a demon army, much like the one at Corypheus’s side in that awful future Maxwell and I found ourselves in. I believe preparations are being made for some kind of assault to ensue as soon as he returns.” Dorian looked tired, fed up even. “I don’t think they’ll be here for long, whatever the message said seemed to have Leliana and the Commander very concerned, I expect whatever they intend to do they will do it soon after returning.” Dorian took a drink and pointed to the stairs “you’re father is up there with Dennet, making rather a lot of noise.”

“Thanks Dor, and chin up my friend, I’m sure Maxwell misses you as much as you miss him, how could he not, you’re amazing.”

“Of course I am my sweet. Thank you Ori, not so bad yourself you know, I do hope our dear commander knows how lucky he is”. 

She smiled warmly and made her way upstairs to find her father. She could here the laughter and revelry as she climbed. Her father had never been a drinker in her memory, Dennet had perhaps become rather a bad influence on him. 

“Oriarna!” Her father was a little merry it seemed, she rubbed her face, slightly agitated, she was hoping to have a serious talk with him having decided she would remain with the Inquisition indefinitely. Now was obviously not the right time. “Oriarna, you’re late, we schtarted wivoot yuuu.” 

“I can see that, uhm I think perhaps it’s time for bed father, you’re sauced!” Her instincts told her perhaps she should escort him. This wasn’t the first time her father had gotten a carried away with alcohol but this time she was more than a little annoyed, his actions could reflect badly on her, if he were to become a nuisance they might both be asked to leave. 

“Nunsense Oriarna, av a drunk, I mean av sum drink!”

Dennet interrupted. “I think perhaps she’s right Eddie, you’re not going to be fit to travel tomorrow if you don’t sleep this off.” He got up from his seat and hurried down the stairs mumbling something about his foolish friend needing water. Ori stayed seated pondering Dennet’s parting statement. 

“Travel tomorrow? Travel where papa?” Oriarna was confused. “I wasn’t aware you were traveling anywhere”. Her father didn’t respond, it seemed he was just on the verge of passing out and could only grunt in response, Oriarna looked to Dennet as he returned for an explanation. “Master Dennet? My father plans to go where tomorrow?”

“He hasn’t told you yet? Your father plans to return home, he had intended this to be our farewell knees-up, but I’m afraid we may have gotten a little carried away!” Oriarna stared at him in disbelief, she could feel a lump in her throat as she tried desperately not to cry. She had no idea her father was planning to leave, there had been no mention of it what so ever. 

“Why am I being told this now! And why am I hearing it from you! I don’t understand.” Edward’s head slowly slumped as he started to snore with his head on the table. 

“I think his intention was to tell you today, and now I feel a foolish. I don’t think he wanted you to be distracted by the thought of his departure so he was going to tell you at the last minute.”

“You knew?”

“I’m sorry Oriarna, I’ve only known a few days, the commander and I thought it best you didn’t know yet.”

“Cullen knew? What’s going on here? My boss and my best friend keeping secrets from me, my father planning to leave without telling me until the very last opportunity, and the whole time there’s me just going about my life with no clue about anything. You should all be ashamed of yourselves, apologies for my tone sir but do you honestly think me so weak that I could take this news? I’m not a child sir!”

Dennet jumped up but wasn’t quick enough to stop her from leaving. He watched her with an apologetic frown and sat back down, sighing heavily as he looked to his friend. 

She was furious. With all three of them. She stormed out of the tavern and headed towards the great hall. Stomping heavily, her footsteps echoed through the rotunda as she marched towards Cullen’s office, she didn’t even notice Solas there, who was completely absorbed in his painting. She raced across the bridge and knocked heavily on the door. “Cullen I need to talk to you now!” She barked. 

Cullen appeared at the door, looking slightly startled by her aggressive manner. “Ori are you oka..”

“Why didn’t you tell me my father was planning to leave?” She interrupted “We spoke yesterday, twice the day before! He’s my father and he’s going home and you just decided to keep it from me!”

“Ori we just thought...”

“Just thought what? That I wouldn’t be able to handle it? That I can’t do my job properly, that I’m too weak? How could you behave normally knowing you were keeping this from me?”

“Ori I…”

“Don’t you care about me as I care for you? Am I really so useless and pathetic to you?”

“Please Oriarna if you let me explai…”

“You are just like everyone else, ‘poor little elf, needs protection from everything but her shadow!’……I deserved to know!”

“It was jus…”

“You know how much my family means to me! I thought I could trust you!”

Cullen waited, making certain she had concluded her outburst. “Ori I‘m so sorry, we weren’t absolutely sure he would leave but when we heard of the Inquisitior’s pending return he decided he had spent enough time here to know that you are safe and decided to return to Denerim.“

“How could you all do this, what else are you keeping from me? 

“Nothing I assure you Ori! Please you can trust me, it was not me intention to hurt you.”

“I…… I have to go……please don’t follow me.”

Cullen felt sick as he watched her flee towards the rotunda. He knew that keeping her in the dark had been wrong, it had felt wrong, but he ignored his instincts and went along with it, he had been foolish. As he closed the door he felt his head begin to pound, it prompted him to realise he had just lied to her again. She knew nothing of the cause of his headaches, the danger he’d put his body in by ceasing the consumption of lyrium. Something he was keeping a secret from many people. He looked at his desk, full of papers that needed his attention, but with a pounding head and a heavy heart he chose his ladder over his desk. 

**********

“Oriarna, are you alright?” Solas had noticed her as she’d charged through the room, he had not expected her to return quite so quickly. “Your visit to the Commander was shorter than usual.” He eyed her from across the room and swiftly moved to hold her when he noticed she was crying. She smelled of hay and elfroot, Solas tried to recall the last time he’d held a woman but couldn’t. He shuffled slightly, careful not to make her aware of the bulge manifesting in his trousers. She felt so good, he almost didn’t want to let her go. “Oriarna…” he whispered into her hair “Oriarna please tell me what’s wrong“.

“I’m sorry Solas but I don’t really want to talk about it, can we just sit together a while? I’m not ready to go and sit in my room alone and I m in no mood for the tavern.” She rubbed the moisture from her cheeks and tried to suppress her growing embarrassment, she was starting to get tired of people seeing her upset. Despite spending some time watching him paint, reading and learning about Evanuris and the evolution of her race, she didn’t feel as though she knew Solas well enough for him to see her falling apart like this. 

“You do not have to be alone, I shall accompany you, I would like to take in some fresh air. I’m finished here for the evening.” She hummed in response. It couldn’t hurt. Perhaps this was the perfect opportunity to get to know ‘him’ better. She looked around the rotunda. His murals were incredible, she secretly wished she had a talent for more than just sweeping and shoeing. It was one thing to make your horse look immaculate, it was quite another to dip your brush into some paint and create your own perfect horse. “Will you want tea? Or perhaps something stronger?” He wiggled a flagon of wine at her as she looked back to him and she giggled “Yes, something stronger it is.”

“I’m sorry for bursting in here, I hope I haven’t spoilt your evening.”

“Quite the opposite actually, I very much enjoy your company Oriarna, now shall we?” Solas held out an arm and she linked him as they exited to the great hall and out towards her room. 

They attracted a few puzzled stares along the way, this didn’t seem to bother Solas but Ori felt a little uncomfortable. She was still very upset with her father and incredibly disappointed in Cullen but tried to still her anger. It was her fathers last night at skyhold and he was passed out alone, marvellous, she thought. 

“I don’t believe I have seen your quarters Oriarna, do you enjoy being so close to your work?“

“I do, I think I’d struggle to get any rest at all anywhere else” she said with a smile, “it’s this way.” He followed her up to her room and promptly found two cups. She closed the door and settled at her table. Solas had already seated himself and poured them both a generous drink. 

“So are you going to tell me what’s bothering you? You seemed overly tense on your way to Commander Cullen’s office and on your return you seemed equally distressed.” He took a sip of wine and examined her reaction to his question.

“I was……am a little unhappy with a few things that happened today, I’ll be alright but for now I’m happy not talking about it Solas.” They looked at one another in silence. It was a comfortable silence. “Tell me something about you Solas, you know much about me and have taught me lots about elves, but I know hardly anything about you.”

“What do you wish to know? That my magic kept the mark from killing Maxwell while he slept? That Cassandra would have had me under lock and key when I arrived to aid the Inquisition if it were not for my extensive knowledge of the fade.”

Had she irritated him by asking him about himself? She suddenly felt bad “I was just curious to know you better, you spend such little time with anyone here at Skyhold.” 

“Very well, although I regret my life was not very interesting before the Inquisition. I grew up in a small village to the north. Unfortunately there was little to interest a young man there, especially one gifted with magic. I have spent most of my life wandering the wilderness by day, and exploring the fade by night. As I slept, spirits of the fade showed me glimpses of wonders I had never imagined. I treasured my dreams.”

“What about your time awake? With real people?”

“Are spirits not ‘real’ Oriarna?” She raised an eyebrow, fully aware of his subtle mocking tone to his question. “The ‘people’ I spent time with had very little to offer me. I do not identify as Dalish, although I did spend a little time travelling with a few clans. I’m afraid my preference for solitude doesn’t make for a very exciting life story. As an apostate I have spent much of my life alone.”

“Sounds very lonely, do you not enjoy the company of others?”

“I do, however my closest friends were not of the waking world. I prefer the company of spirits much of the time, I never once felt in any danger whilst exploring the fade, to me the real monsters are the ones who populate this world, mages who cannot control their magic, power hungry men who look only to better their own conceited existence. There are few monsters in the fade compared to out here.”

“Well I think you need to find some nice people in the waking world to restore faith Solas. We’re not all bad you know” she said with a wink. 

Solas smirked “Yes…I am starting to notice that for myself”.

**********

Cullen had no idea how long he had slept for but it was still dark in his room, he pushed himself off the bed, thankful that his headache had eased slightly and decided he might as well resume some of his work while he was feeling up to it. He descended the ladder and went out onto the ramparts to get some fresh air. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath, he needed to straighten things out with Ori, he needed to get things back to how they were, when they were both happy. She had become important to him, she made him smile everyday. If her father was to leave in the morning he liked to think she would need him more than ever. He opened his eyes and was drawn to movement below. His worst nightmare, had he truly woken up? Was he perhaps still lying in his bed experiencing another awful dream? He squinted, convinced his eyes were betraying him in the dim light. But they weren’t, nor was he having another nightmare. He held his breath and clenched his fists. He watched in horror as Solas made his way towards the main keep away from the stables. He wanted to scream, no he wanted to grip that scrawny, arrogant, slimey apostate by the throat and launch him from the fortress wall. He wanted to race towards Ori’s room and ask her what Solas had been doing there till this late hour. He wanted to erase the awful sight from his memory and discard the jealous and resentful feelings he was experiencing. It took all his resolve to go back to his quarters, he wouldn’t sleep, but the reports could wait. 

**********

“I really don’t have to leave today Oriarna, I can stay a few more days you know“. Edward got himself in the way of his daughter and the horse she was saddling for him and took her by the shoulders. “Please sweetheart, I need you to talk to me, I cannot bear even the thought of you being mad at me, the reality of is almost more than I can take.”

“I’m not mad papa, I was, but not anymore. Solas sort of made me realise we are only alone in this world if we choose to be.” She moved from his hold and resumed her preparations “I’m not alone here, I’m not afraid. Papa you should go home to mama.” She stopped and looked at him, “she’s alone there and she needs you. I’m not saying I don’t want you here, I’m saying I don’t need you to be here. You’re always with me. I know you love me. I’m going to see this through and make you the proudest father in all Thedas.” 

Edward rushed to her and held her tightly, tears pouring down his cheeks. “You already have Oriarna, you have always made me proud. I’m going to miss you so much.” He let out a long sigh. “I promised your mother I’d return with you, that’s going to be a difficult conversation to have.” He let go of her and wiped his tears away, sniffling loudly. “Well, I suppose I best be off then, I was going to take Autumn for the journey but I’m leaving her here with you, I’m going to take Snowball back with me, she doesn’t seem herself here and you and Autumn seem quite settled, I had noticed you let the Inquisitior take Silver, that is something else that makes me proud of you.” He saw her face sadden at the mention of her friend “hey, she’ll be back in a few days, stay strong my darling.”

They made their way towards the gates, everyone had gathered to bid farewell to Edward, Iron Bull looked heartbroken, Dorian came to stand by Ori to comfort her, Solas stood away from the crowd, trading death stares with Cullen. 

After a long embrace with Oriarna and many handshakes Edward winked at the Commander and mounted his horse. 

“Wait!” Cullen shouted “let Oriarna and I escort you as far as the lake Edward”.

She looked at Cullen and nodded, she had missed their walks. She ran to the stables and was quick to return mounted on Autumn with Prince in tow. Cullen settled on his back and they set out to clapping and waves from the gathered crowd. 

“The lake isn’t far, it’s one of our favourite places isn’t it Ori?” 

“Hm, yes it was.”

They continued in a slightly awkward silence to the sound of clomping hooves, when they reached the point where Edward would continue alone he stopped and turned his horse to the pair. 

“Right, this is where we part ways.……look I’m not entirely sure what happened last night, that was my own doing, but will the two of you please sort out whatever this is so I can return to your mother with nothing but good news for Andraste’s sake.”

The two looked at one another and back to Edward “I love you Oriarna, good luck Commander.” And with that he turned his horse and galloped away, Oriarna kept her eyes fixed on him until finally he was gone. She had already begun to sob. Cullen dismounted and helped her down from her horse to hold her, she quietly cried into his chest as he clung to her tightly. 

“I’m sorry Cullen, I’m sorry for the things I said, I’m sorry for losing my temper, I’m sorry for crying again, I’m sorry for everything.” Only hours had passed since their disagreement but it felt like she had been reunited with someone she hadn’t seen for an age. Despite having just said goodbye to her father, her hero, she felt nothing but comfort in his arms. Her tears were as a result of her heightened emotions, the embodiment of her feelings at that moment, not tears of sadness. 

“Shhhh you have nothing to be sorry for.” he whispered whilst tenderly stroking her hair. He had missed her, in the few hours she had been angry with him he’d felt nothing but fear and angst. As he held her tightly he knew he had never cared for anyone in such a way. He loved her. His mind was still racing from what he’d seen late the previous night, he was still feeling vexed and confused, he knew he shouldn’t say anything but he couldn’t stop himself. “I’m just pleased that you could get comfort elsewhere when you needed it.” Her breath hitched. She pulled back him and looked up at him through narrowed eyes. 

“What did you mean by that?”

“Oh come Ori, I saw that pointy eared freak leaving you quarters late in the evening yesterday.” Cullen winced when he realised what he’d actually said. Ori’s eyes were wide, he watched as she seemed to flit through a myriad of emotions. Everything from anger, to disbelief, from fear to grief. She couldn’t speak, she could only stare at him. She took a step away from him, and then another. Cullen moved to close the gap and Ori screamed.

“Don’t come near me, don’t touch me, don’t speak to me, don’t even fucking look at me!” She got onto Autumn and paused for a moment. She looked in the direction her father had just traveled and a part of her thought to follow, she simply couldn’t leave like this though. Avoiding all acknowledgement of her companion she turned and rode to Skyhold leaving Cullen where he stood. 

**********

*Have I overreacted?* She paced her room, angry and restless *pointy eared freak!* she continued to pace *pointy eared freak?”* “unbelievable” she muttered to herself. She heard an approaching horse and locked her door. She had no desire to be disturbed, especially by Cullen. On her return Dennet had noticed her distress but hadn’t questioned her. He was a little confused when she had insisted that he tend to Prince on the Commanders return. Dennet assumed she was distressed by her father’s departure and hadn’t asked her for an explanation for that either and she had offered none before hurrying to her quarters. She seated herself on her bed and stared at the door, listening for any movement on the stairs. She heard nothing. She let out the breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding and went to unlock her door. She gingerly opened her door and quietly descended the stairs. Dennet was alone and Ori was relieved. 

“It’s probably none of my business and feel free to tell me to bog off but whatever was all that about Oriarna?”

“Whatever do you mean sir?”

She moved past Dennet to put the saddle where it was ‘meant’ to go and looked around the equipment room hoping to find something else to do so to avoid the questioning glare from her boss. 

“Well, alright, you ride away with the Commander, all smiles and laughter, only to return alone not a half hour later with a face like thunder, refusing to have any contact with the man. He returns shortly after you looking like a broken man. And now you’re buzzing around the equipment room with a dismayed look trying to ignore me. So, either tell me to bog off or tell me what’s wrong dear.”

“I appreciate your concern Master Dennet but I’d really rather not speak about it now. Lets just say that I misjudged our Commander, I’m sorry for acting so irrationally, would you mind if I spent the remainder of the day in my room? I’m in no mood for company.” 

Dennet nodded sympathetically. “There isn’t a great deal of work that can’t be put off until tomorrow. Please let me know if I can do anything Ori, I promised your father I’d look after you and I would rather keep that promise.” Dennet knew enough about her to realise that she needed her space. It was very unlike her to dodge her responsibilities and even more unlike her to want to be alone. 

“I assure you I’m going to be fine, I just need some time to think and rest. Thank you sir, good day.”

 

***********

 

The Inquisitior and his companions had returned to Skyhold a few days after Edwards departure. Cullen had had no contact with Ori, she had become a ghost, venturing out only to get her meals and quickly returning to the stables afterwards. Even Dorian had struggled to get her to stick around for a cheeky chess game or a little drink. 

“Commander you look terrible!” 

Cullen felt awful, it was no wonder he looked terrible. His heart ached as did his head and his body. He knew he had no one to blame but himself. His overactive imagination had betrayed him, his jealousy had overcome him. He was a mess without her. He missed her.

“I’m fine Inquisitor, just having a little trouble sleeping.” Cullen was not a experienced liar. Maxwell eyed him suspiciously. Josephine also observed the Commander from behind her notepad. 

“I’d speak to a healer, or perhaps Ori if I were you, I understand she’s quite proficient in alchemy. How is she? I heard her father had left for Denerim, I do hope she’s handling his leaving effectively.” 

“I’m sure she is, now shall we start the meeting inquisitor, I’m sure Leliana will be along shortly.” 

“We can’t start without her, she’d have a fit. Are you sure you’re alright Cullen?” Maxwell quizzed Cullen, wondering why his friend was acting so strange. Cullen seemed cold. The Commander was always professional and by the book but Maxwell sensed that there was something a miss. 

“I assure you Inquisitor I am fine!” Cullen gripped the tables edge and stared at the map in front of him. He could feel the pair watching him, his discomfort was slowly being replaced by irritation, he was relieved when Leliana finally entered the war room. 

“Sorry I was delayed, I think it would be wise to have Sir Hawke present during this meeting”. Leliana was met with nods from her colleagues and returned to the door to invite Hawke to join them. 

**********

“Helloooooo? Yoohoo? Oriarna where are you? People are starting to worry. ……I’m starting to worry and you know that frowning isn’t a flattering look for me.” Dorian searched the stables for her eventually finding her curled up next to Silver. She was sleeping. He thought about leaving her there but he’d missed his friend and she was obviously not quite herself after her fathers departure. 

“Ori!” He whispered, giving her a gentle nudge “Ori please wake up dear, I have to talk to you.”

Ori stirred and Dorian was relieved when she focused on him and smiled. 

“Hello you. I didn’t intend to sleep so long but she’s so comfortable.“ She stroked her friend affectionately. “Is everything alright? Is Maxwell alright? I haven’t had a chance to speak to him since his return.” Ori got to her feet and stretched, ruffling her hair to rid herself of the dust and straw.

“Yes he’s well, but……Ori we’re all a little concerned about you.” He checked her reaction before continuing. She said nothing but seemed affected by his admission. “My dear you’re going to be fine, I’m sure your father will send word of his safe return”.

Ori chuckled and Dorian, not the reaction he’d expected. 

“Dorian I’m sorry, I’m fine with my father leaving, I’m happy he’s to return to my mother, she’ll be desperately lonely and probably being driven into madness if my brothers have been her only source of conversation.”

Dorian stood looking at her, still quite noticeably confused. 

“Then I’m not sure what to say. Ori we’ve barely seen you all week, I was hoping that with time you’d venture out but I grew impatient. Is something wrong? Has something happened?”

She looked around the stables, Dennet was elsewhere and Blackwall busy whittling what appeared to be a rocking horse. She waved her friend toward her quarters and the privacy she craved. He followed without question being careful not to tread in anything foul along the way. Once they were alone she felt able to talk freely. 

Ori took a deep breath………

**********

Cullen’s door flew open. 

“You stupid bastard! What did you have to go and say something like that for. Are you demented? I mean have you actually lost your mind?” Dorian crossed the room and slammed both his hands onto front of Cullen’s desk where he sat. His head sank into his hands, he couldn’t even look at his friend. “Fine, well I hope you’re happy you fool, I came up here to try and help, maybe yell at you for a while but eventually help you.” Dorian turned to leave 

“Wait……please Dorian……I was ah……it’s not what you think.” He sat back in his chair and rubbed his face anxiously. He took a deep breath and gestured for Dorian to have a seat. “Please sit, I’m glad you’ve come. We leave for Adamant fortress tomorrow, I needed to see a friendly face.”

“Today dear fellow I am anything but friendly! You may wish to retract that statement once I’m through with you! Adamant? I see, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised I’m not hearing this from Maxwell, I’m always the last to find out.” 

“Dorian……about Oriarna. I didn’t mean to hurt her. I promise. I was consumed with jealousy. I didn’t even consider my words would hurt her, I don’t see her that way, she’s Ori, she’s my Ori, she was almost my Ori… and I’ve ruined everything. She’ll never speak to me again now.”

“Yes, your choice of words wasn’t exactly palatable.” Dorian could see his inner turmoil and felt a twinge or sympathy. “Cullen, I spoke to her earlier, she is not herself. She is withdrawn and miserable. In all the weeks I’ve known her I’ve never seen her like this. She isn’t feeling like that because of what you said, she’s feeling that way because she’s lost you.” Dorian felt restless and jumped from his seat to pace back and forth, he felt like walking over to Cullen and knocking some sense into him. “Don’t you understand that she is in love with you, Maker you two are so fucking dense it’s enough to give me a nosebleed!”

Cullen stared at him. He knew that they were close, they spent hours together everyday despite him insisting she smelled like horse muck. Cullen would have been jealous had it not been patently clear that regardless of the flirting with almost every woman in Skyhold, Dorian did not appreciate the female form in quite the same way as some men. 

“Dorian, has she told you this?”

“Of course not but it doesn’t take a genius to work it out!” 

Cullen got to his feet and started towards the door. 

“Wait, Cullen where are you going?”

“I must speak with her, if I am to leave for Adamant in the morning then I have to tell her how I feel, she has to at least hear my apology, she has to know that I love her.”

“I think it’s best you give her a little more time. She’s still quite upset, I feel a little distance will put things into perspective for the both of you, plus she doesn’t know I’m here. I promised her I’d keep my nose out of it.” 

Cullen went back behind his desk and sunk heavily into his chair with a loud groan. It comforted him to believe he hadn’t completely ruined his chances but he knew Dorian was right, he had been stupid. She was one of the few people in Skyhold he made time for. 

Both men stayed in silence for a time before Dorian excused himself and left Cullen to think on his advice. If they were to have some distance between them, he would give her something to think about in the meantime. Cullen took his quill and a piece of parchment and began to write. It was easy, he knew exactly what he was going to say he hardly had to think about what his hand was doing. After a while he was happy with his work and decided to return to his reports.


	8. Goodbye, Hello.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oriarna is left behind whilst the inquisition journeys to Adamant. Cullen finally admits his feelings and finally gets the girl.
> 
> Includes a little smut, finally. And a little more art

Oriarna had awoken early to start preparations. Actually she had barely slept, for so many reasons she was falling apart. The inquisitior had visited her late the previous evening to inform her that everyone was to leave for Adamant the following day. That included all her friends both two and four legged. Most of the soldiers were to accompany the Commander. She felt weary, like there were a heavy object crushing her heart. What if they lost people. What if something happened to Silver, Dorian or Iron Bull, what if the wardens outnumbered their army, overpowered them. Her thoughts spiralled until she found herself sobbing uncontrollably. 

“Hush now, we’re going to be alright.” She hadn’t noticed the Maxwell’s arrival at the stables. “I’m here to tell you we’re almost ready, could I send some troops in here to help with the horses?”

“They’re all ready for you sir, I was up early to prepare. I do have a request sir……”

Maxwell moved towards her and placed his hands on her shoulders “anything Ori, I’ll do my best for you.”

“Please bring the Commander back alive, I have something I wish to tell him upon his return.” She wept quietly and Maxwell sighed and held her close. 

“Don’t worry. I will do my best to bring him back unharmed. You have my word Oriarna.“

Soldiers began taking the horses out towards the gates. She followed Maxwell out to the courtyard. She’d never witnessed so much activity in Skyhold, it made her feel more nervous than ever. Being so detached from the fighting had its advantages but now faced with the sight of so many of the people she’d grown fond of leaving for the battle she felt overcome with fear. Dorian must have noticed her look of dismay and was quickly over to her bringing her into his arms for a supportive embrace. 

“We have to leave now dear, please show me that dazzling smile one last time before I go.” 

She forced herself to comply and Dorian tutted in response “I suppose that will have to do. You are adorably pitiful Ori, you know that, I’ll miss you. We’ll be back before you know it, keep my stool warm in the tavern please.”

She watched as they prepared to march. She’d seen Cullen speaking to the soldiers but had been careful not to draw his attention. He handed off what looked like some paperwork to a messenger and mounted his horse. Bull waved towards Ori, he had insisted The chargers were to remain at Skyhold claiming the keep would be safer in the absence of the majority of its soldiers. 

“Look after Krem for me, he’s been wandering around like a lost puppy all morning!“ he shouted, making no effort to preserve Krem’s dignity. 

Ori laughed “I promise I will, look after yourself big man.”

“No promises, but whatever happens I’ll be sure to make it look good!”

Oriarna continued to laugh as she joined the small crowd that had gathered to see them off. Her worries had subsided ever so slightly. She knew that they were a strong army, she had seen all the Inquisitions efforts result in success, there was no reason for her to question their chances. With all that was going on all she could think of was seeing her Commander return safely. She knew he hadn’t meant to say what he’d said. Solas had made no secret of the issues between the ex Templar and himself. Ultimately it came down to a deeply embedded sense of mistrust on both sides. She chanced a look at Cullen, he saw her and smiled apologetically, she returned the gesture and mouthed to him the words that would keep him sane, words that melted his heart. 

“Come back to me”

**********

There was little to do that afternoon. The stables were practically deserted. Ori tried to busy herself the best she could but she quickly ran out of things to do. She wandering aimlessly around the building until she was interrupted by a messenger. 

“Are you Oriarna?” 

“Yes, why?”

“I have a parchment for you, I was to deliver it after the Commanders exit.” He handed her the note and hurried away. She looked at the envelope, turning it around in her hand. 

“Master Dennet do you have further need of my assistance?”

Dennet appeared from inside one of the stalls “look around dear, does it look like there’s much to do?” He barked, waving his arms around the stables. 

Ori chuckled and headed for her room. When she was there she settled on her bed a ripped the envelope open.

 

My Dearest Ori,

 

I hope this letter finds you well, if the messenger has followed my instructions correctly you shouldn’t receive this until I am gone. 

Oriarna, I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I feel for my behaviour and what I said to you, I can understand your anger and I know I do not deserve your forgiveness, the actions of a jealous man can be both hideous and shameful. I’m so sorry. 

I am terrible at admitting my feelings and even worse at expressing them. Ever since the first day I met you I have been experiencing emotions I had not expected to feel. I have never met anyone like you, I felt like I didn’t deserve your attention or your affection. I have been lying to you. When I joined the Inquisition I chose to stop taking lyrium, I wanted to leave that life behind and hopefully move on to something better, unshackled, free. That is why I suffer, and I fear I deserve it. You showed me such kindness expecting nothing in return, you cared about me and my wellbeing despite not really knowing me. You are a true marvel, I’m in awe of you everyday. It’s taken me a while but I finally understand everything. Loosing your respect, your company, not seeing your beautiful face everyday has finally allowed me to admit to myself what I already knew deep inside. 

Ori I am in love with you, I think I have been for a long time. Hurting you feels like the worst in a long line of mistakes. I hope one day to earn your forgiveness and hopefully, eventually earn your love in return. Please stay safe and happy until we return. 

All my love 

Cullen 

 

Ori held the letter on her lap. She had known she loved Cullen for a while and knew he had feelings for her, she hadn’t realised that he loved her in return. She’d wished for it, dreamt of it, but thought it impossible. She was a nobody, a nothing, a simple stable girl……and a elf. But she knew nothing of love, nothing of men and sex. She shuddered as she recalled the few detestable encounters she had experienced, from the fumbling kiss she’d had at sixteen years old with blacksmith’s apprentice from Denerim called Hugo, to her most recent encounter in the fortress she now stood. Would the memories of past ordeals betray her desire for him, would she allow him to touch her as she knew she longed for him to touch her. 

She had to speak to someone but everyone was gone. She headed towards Herald’s Rest but decided to head to Undercroft instead. 

**********

“Hello there!” Dagna had such a sweet, cheery way about her. “Everything okay? Haven’t seen you around here much.”

“I know, it’s been a mad few weeks. I just, I wanted to…talk to someone, I received a letter from Cullen and…”

“Has he finally told you how he feels? I mean everyone else knows, it’s so romantic, he’s a real sweetheart huh.”

“I suppose he is. Dagna what am I going to do, I have never……I mean I don’t know what I’m doing I……”. Ori was flustered, she was terrified and excited, so much so that she lowered herself to sit on the ground and take a breath. She hated that he’d left her to think on his revelation. She wanted so badly to see him and she knew he was weeks away from returning. 

“I’m perhaps not the best person to speak to about this, I probably know as little as you Ori, to be honest I expect you’d be better speaking to Bull or Dorian, oh but they’re not here, oops.” 

“You and Sera are close. I assumed… forgive me I just thought that…”

Dagna smiled coyly “We are close, but it’s more like having fun, you and the Commander… well let’s just say it’s not quite the same.”

She understood Dagna’s meaning, even if it hadn’t been put in a very diplomatic way. “Not to worry, I don’t know what I was thinking, I just didn’t want to sit in my room alone. I needed to take my mind elsewhere. What are you working on?”

Dagna immediately changed her demeanour, Ori could tell she was passionate about her work. Behind the scenes there were literally dozens of people whose efforts were all making a difference in the Inquisition. Dagna had proven her worth many times, augmenting weapons, deciphering schematics of legend and putting every resource to effective use. “Well this is a new enchantment I’m working on for the Inquisitior’s staff, it should harness some of the marks power whilst channeling elemental energy. It’s gonna be really neat. I was sad that I couldn’t finish it before he left. Then again perhaps a massive siege on a castle full of demons and grey wardens isn’t the best place to field test such a thing, we have to start small, ya know.”

Ori gigged at the dwarfs enthusiasm, she was like a busy little flee. Adorable but relentless.

She stayed a while, Dagna was eager to show her how her enchantments worked, she also quizzed her about the horses, curious to know if she had any ‘smaller’ horses she might perhaps ride someday. 

Oriarna returned to her room after darkness had fallen. She climbed into bed and read the letter again. “Please stay safe and happy until you return my love” she whispered before she drifted off to sleep. 

**********

Leliana had been kind enough to keep Ori updated whenever she received a report from the Inquisitior. They were due to return any day now and she felt her excitement growing. Not just to see her Commander, but because all her friends were safe. The few remaining inhabitants of Skyhold were all eagerly awaiting the return of their heroes. Krem needed his Bull, as did a few of the tavern wenches, Josephine had expressed her desire to be reunited with Blackwall, something Ori had not seen coming. Dagna was skipping around knowing Sera would soon be back. There was an wonderful vibe in the fortress, Ori tried to fill her time to avoid her nerves getting the better of her. She hadn’t responded to the Commanders letter, she felt like she needed to see him, his beautiful kind amber eyes, his marvellous chiselled jaw, his broad shoulders, Ori shook her head and tried to force the amorous thoughts from her mind, she needed to save herself, be strong. 

“Are you excited? Bet you can’t wait to see the Commander huh?” Ori hadn’t noticed the dwarf wander into the stables. She felt her cheeks flush and turned to see the her cute smiling face looking up at her. 

“Yes I’m very much looking forward to everyone returning. I’m nervous though. I’m scared I’m going to do something wrong, or worse I’m not going to be able to do anything at all.” Dagna hummed in response then seemed to be thinking on Ori’s words. 

“I’m sure everything’s going to be fine, you two are made for each other. Everybody can see it. I have to be going. I just wanted to wish you good luck.” She grinned knowingly and hurried away towards the courtyard. Ori busied herself with preparations for the horses to return, she was stacking hay bales when she heard the lookout signal the inquisitior’s approach. Her heart began to race and her stomach turned on itself. She had to do what felt right, she knew what she wanted, it was him. 

**********

Cullen groaned as he dismounted, he was definitely in no rush to get back on a horse. He’d been one of the last to arrive back, slowing his pace to accompany the stragglers and making sure everyone got back safely. Most of the horses had been taken to the stables, Cullen led Prince, although he needed no guidance and was quick to find his stall and lap up an eager drink of water. Leaving his friend to enjoy a well earned rest he wandered the stables looking for Oriarna. He had missed her every moment he was away from her. When he slept she was in his dreams, when he woke she occupied all of his thoughts. He loved her and couldn’t wait to see her. He had to admit he was a little dubious, she had not responded to his letter and he had no idea how she felt. Her parting words ‘come back to me’ were all he had to go on. He needed to see her so badly. But first he had to find her. He explored the stables further, eventually finding his way to the room towards rear of the building where Dennet kept most of the equipment. He peeped inside but saw no one, he entered slowly and quietly called out to her. 

“Ori, are you here?”

She took him by surprise, her arm snaking around his to turn him to her, she wasted no time as she pulled him down to a deep kiss. He responded, cupping her face with his hands and moaning into her lips. She pulled away from him briefly to smile before bringing him back into the kiss, slowly, hooded eyes seductively coaxing him down to meet her lips. Her tongue darted over his mouth seeking permission to enter, which he eagerly granted her earning his own right to explore hers in return. The kiss was passionate but soft as they moved so that Oriarna had her back to the wall, their kissing growing more heated and desperate. She arched into him. Keen to feel his strong body pushed against her. She had never felt any sensation like it, the desire for him sent her into a frenzy. Her body was on fire, her head was spinning.

When the kiss finally broke both stood breathlessly holding onto one another. Cullen gasped for air and tucked a stray curl behind her ear. When he finally caught his breath he began to chuckle. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted us to do that.” He looked deep into her eyes “I missed you so much Ori, I don’t ever want us to be apart again.” He gazed at her like he was seeing her for the first time, tenderly stroking her cheek with his gloved hand. 

“I missed you too Cullen, every minute you were gone was agony, don’t ever leave me again.” 

She pulled him down to claim his lips once more. He eagerly responded, his hands now travelling down to clasp her rear. She squeaked with surprise and grinned into his lips bringing her right leg up around his waist to allow him to cup her perfect ass. He pressed into her, no longer ashamed to for her to feel his sizeable bulge, she gasped as she felt his hard cock pressing against her. She knew that she needed to stop, not because she was afraid or overwhelmed, it felt so right, like nothing she’d felt before, it was just that she was not going to let her first time with him be a quick fumble in the back room of a stable. Ori forced herself to withdraw from his lips, both their chests were heaving with desire, their eyes glazed with lust.

“Cullen,” She whispered breathlessly “Cullen, as much as I’ve missed you I didn’t picture our ‘this’ taking place here. Can we arrange to meet later tonight? I’m sure you’re probably needed in the war room as we speak!”

He chuckled playfully and nibbled her neck “I was just thinking the same thing but I had to see you my love.” He straightened himself out and placed a soft parting kiss on her lips. “I’ll return later, hopefully I won’t be too long, though I’m not sure I’m going to be of much use to the Inquisitior today after this.” He paused to look at her before leaving, she playfully tossed her hair and folded her arms in front of her chest. 

“Yes Commander? I thought you were leaving.” 

“You look so beautiful.” Nothing more. As she watched him leave she was suddenly overcome with fear, she had no idea what she was doing. She had to find Dorian.

**********

Ori headed straight for Herald’s Rest once her jobs were completed, if she didn’t find Dorian frequenting the tavern then Iron Bull was a good alternative. The majority of the horses had been very well tended to on the road, she found that there was little work for her. A few needed new shoes, one had a nasty eye gash, but most just needed food, water and rest. 

It was a pleasant walk through Skyhold. It was lovely to see life in the fortress again. It had felt quite deserted in the Inquisitior’s absence and Ori had definitely felt lonely these last few weeks. Most of the soldiers who had returned did so with minor injuries and it looked as though the healers were going to be busy, Ori was quick to offer her help but they insisted that they had the situation under control. It made her sad to see so many people had been hurt, but a part of her also felt guilty for feeling pleased that none of her friends were among the wounded. 

As she neared the top of the stairs her excitement grew and she ran into the tavern quickly surveying the room for the friendly faces she longed to see. Of course she noticed Bull straight away, announcing what appeared to be a toast to himself. She rushed over to him and he stood to greet her with a rather brutal hug. 

“Ori I’m glad you’re here, we’ve got a cask to drink and some of us are already wavering!” He threw his lieutenant a dissatisfied look and thrust a tankard into her hand. “To reunions!” He yelled 

“To reunions!” Came the response from the chargers. 

They clunked tankards and Bull eagerly emptied his in one chug. 

“Ahhh that’s better.” He coughed unceremoniously and gestured for someone to fill his cup. 

“You seem to be in good spirits Bull.”

“Why wouldn’t I be? We kicked some demon ass out there, prevented a demon army from rising up to reek havoc on the world. This was a good victory.” 

“I’m relieved that you all returned unharmed. Have you seen Dorian? I really could use his advice on something.” 

Iron Bull looked at her a moment, a playful grin slowly creeping across his face. “I know what this is about, Dorian should be along shortly. Why are you getting yourself so worked up about this anyway?”

“How do you know I’m worked up?” Bull raised an eyebrow in response to her question and she immediately felt a little foolish, Bull knew practically everything. “Bull you don’t understand, I am completely clueless, I have no experience what so ever, Cullen deserves better.”

“Hah! So it finally happened! Splendid!”

“Dorian!” Ori was delighted to see him and flung herself into his arms. “I missed you all so much, it was unbearable, I’m so glad you’re safe.” She relinquished her tight grip on him and smiled apologetically. “Sorry, but I really did miss you lots.” 

“And I you Ori. Though not as much as the Commander, I take it he came to find you? You’re all he talked about, so boring, I very nearly grew tired of it.” Dorian seated himself and instantly had a cup dumped in front of him by Krem. He sniffed the contents with displeasure. “I think I’ll pass my friend, I think wine will be more to my taste.” Krem quickly retrieved the cup and downed its contents. Dorian waved at the barmaid and without delay she hurried over with a flagon and cup “two cups if you don’t mind my dear.” He winked at her and she trotted away and promptly returned with his request. He poured them both a drink then looked at her, he sighed heavily and smiled at her, appreciating this moment back with his friend. 

“Are you alright Dor?” Ori sensed something was troubling him, despite the show of smiles he wasn’t completely himself. She felt closer to only one other person at Skyhold and she could always read Dorian’s mood better than anybody else. 

“Not really, to travel physically into the fade……well, it was utterly ridiculous and terrifying. Not to mention completely unnatural. I’m not sure if I’d even believe it had I not actually been there……it was………” Dorian faltered his words, he seemed to be lost in his own thoughts for a few seconds before speaking again. “Well, lets just say I’m in no rush to return. Maybe we can speak of it another time, I think there have been some much more positive developments that I’m keen to hear all about.” She blushed noticeably and Dorian revelled in her shyness. “You and a certain ex Templar have finally decided to admit your feelings for one another, about bloody time Ori, watching you two flirt was painful.”

“What’s wrong with a little suspense? A little intrigue, we can’t all be as practiced as you in matters of the heart.” She joked. Their spirited banter only reminded her how lonely she’d felt in his absence. 

Dorian choked on his wine before pulling her close to whisper in her ear “creating intrigue takes practice my dear.” 

“Now that we’re on the subject of ‘practice’ I have something I need to speak to you about………”

“Naturally, but come, let us find somewhere a little more private to talk”

**********

The meeting had taken far longer than Cullen had been expecting and much longer than he wanted it to. He exited the war room and hurried through the great hall and outside towards his destination. His mind was racing with images of all he wanted to do to her. As he neared the top of the stairs a familiar voice halted his steps. 

“Commander, if you’re looking for Ori then you won’t find her in that direction, she was in the tavern a little while ago and then I believe she headed to the Garden.” 

“Ah Dorian, the war meeting is over, I expect Maxwell is looking for you. She’s gone to Garden you say?” Cullen looked a little skittish. Dorian raised an eyebrow with interest. 

“Is everything alright Commander? You look like a startled rabbit. Have I said something wrong?” 

“No of course not, I am just confused. I was under the impression that she was going to wait for me at the stables.” 

Dorian looked at him with compassion, he headed back towards the tavern and held the door open as an invitation. Cullen shook his head but complied and led the way. In a quiet corner Dorian seated himself and encouraged Cullen to sit down. The barmaid soon appeared with drinks for the pair and Dorian thanked her with a playful smack on the rear. 

“Dorian, it’s not that I wouldn’t love to have a drink with you having spent the last few weeks putting up with you, however I really was hoping to find Oriarna. 

“Putting up with me? Oh Commander you wound me!” Dorian grasped at the material of his shirt over his heart theatrically. “Lucky for you I have a soft spot for that beautiful little creature or I would be stomping off in the opposite direction to you right now!” 

“Alright enough with the dramatics, what’s this about Dorian?”

“It’s about Ori actually.” Dorian took a sip of his wine. He saw Cullen’s mood change in an instant from irritated to worried. “My friend, you needn’t worry, I just wanted to have a discreet chat. For her sake more than anything.” Dorian sipped his wine again, placing it back down as he crossed his legs and placed his hands together to rest on his knee. “Do you know that look Ori has when she’s sat listening to Iron Bull talking about his latest conquest, the slightly forced smile that graces her little face when I make jokes about sexual endeavours, or the slight flush to her cheeks when you notice her watching you spar. What do you think it all says about her, what does it mean?”

If Cullen had been at a slight loss before he was utterly confused now. He shrugged his shoulders “I don’t know Dorian”.

“Innocence”.

**********

It was almost sunset as Ori made her way back to the stables after her trip to the garden to talk to Elan Ve'mal. After her chat to Dorian she had decided to take precautions knowing that she was likely to be engaging in amorous activities at some point soon. Her and Cullen had managed to accidentally avoid bumping into each other all day. She hated that. It had been a somewhat busy day for everyone and she hadn’t had much time to dwell on the days events but she still felt a painful longing to see him. He’d been away for so long, it had felt like an eternity, a few hours made little difference in her mind. *the poor man is probably exhausted after such a hectic and dreadful expedition.* She dashed through the stables, stopping briefly to say hello to Silver then carried on towards her room. She reached her door to find a note had been pinned to it. 

My dearest Ori

join me in my quarters for supper,   
I cannot wait to see you,

all my love

Cullen 

Well there it was. This was it. She plucked the note from the door and went into her room, if she was going to Cullen’s quarters she was going to look her best.

 


	9. Perfection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> smut and more smut
> 
> Oriarna gets her Commander alone. She realises not everyone is going to be happy about it though. Well that’s just tough.

Cullen stared at the report on his desk, not even seeing the words. His stomach was in knots, his talk with Dorian earlier that day was at the forefront of his mind. 

> Cullen you can be so dense at times, it’s not that she has little experience with men my good chap………she has none whatsoever. 

How could he not even considered the idea of her being a virgin. Cullen thought back to some of their past conversations, he cursed himself inwardly. She had made it clear on several occasions that she lacked experience, that she had only had a few unpleasant encounters with the opposite sex, but he had assumed someone as enchanting and loving as Ori would have experienced physical love at some point. It added to his nerves but at the same time added an element of intrigue and excitement. She was a virgin and she wanted him. Hopefully she wanted him to be her first, and her only lover. It sent a wave of lustful fire through his body and he grew more and more aroused at the thought of seeing her. 

A quiet knock on his door forced him to curb his indecent state of mind. He hurried across the room, almost bursting with happiness as he opened his door to a sight more beautiful than anything he could conjure in his imagination. 

Ori wore a tight buttoned tunic, leggings and those delicious thigh boots Cullen loved so much. Her hair, often worn down, cascaded over her womanly peaks. He stared at her, eyes wide. Cullen had already shed his armour before her arrival and wore nothing but a cotton shirt and his own leather leggings. 

“May I come in Commander?” Ori grinned playfully, she could obviously tell he was being affected by her. Without waiting for a response and feeling bold she moved past him into his office, turned and stood to face him, flirtatiously gazing at him with hands on hips. He looked at her from across the room and almost immediately felt his desire for her stirring in his trousers. She was like a goddess to him in her alluring, empowered posture and it took his breath away. “Commander, you look startled. You haven’t forgotten the note you left on my door have you?” She was teasing him and he liked it. He closed the door and looked at her as he unashamedly turned the key to lock them in, then preceded to lock the other two doors in succession. She watched him as he began to blow out the candles that illuminated his humble dwelling. 

“I have a surprise for you.” He moved towards the ladder and motioned for her to come to him. “I’ll blow out the last of these and be right with you my love.” He grazed her cheek with a calloused thumb and placed a soft kiss on her lips. She climbed the ladder slowly, very aware of Cullen’s hungry gaze beneath her. She was taken aback by the scene that greeted her. The room was dimly lit by several candles and Cullen had laid out a table of food and drinks. It looked so different from that day she’d invited herself in with his medicine. It seemed smaller, more intimate, she smiled to herself as she appreciated his romantic attention to detail, his bed was immaculately made and the room was fragrant with flowers and some sort of spice she couldn’t place. She was oblivious to Cullen’s arrival as she studied the cute little setup. 

He silently moved to stand behind her, tenderly embracing her around her waist. She leaned backwards into him, raising her chin to expose her neck, he readily accepted the unspoken invitation and kissed her softly moving slowly from earlobe down to collarbone. She inhaled sharply as tingles surged through her body. She could feel his hardness pressed against the small of her back and she felt consumed with desire for him. Nothing in her wanted him to stop, she trusted him, she loved him. All her fears and doubts seemed like distant, insignificant memories. Cullen then spun her towards him. 

“Ori, I must ask you something, before I find myself unable to stop.”

“Why my love, why would I want you to stop”. Her eyes were pleading with him to carry on. She wanted him, her whole body craved for his touch upon her. 

“Ori, are you certain that this is what you want. That……I’m what you want?”

“Cullen I’ve been waiting my whole life to find you.” She bit her bottom lip and eyed him seductively as she brought her hands to her chest to start unbuttoning her tunic. Cullen quickly halted her before bringing his hands to cup her face. 

“And I you. I have waited my whole life for you, and since your arrival here I have been waiting still. Oriarna, I can wait a little longer. We needn’t rush this.”

She stood up on her tiptoes and pulled him into a gentle kiss and whispered “You are everything I’ve ever wanted and all that I ever want Cullen. I won’t wait. I love you.” He couldn’t resist her any longer. Their kissing continued, starting slowly but quickly growing more intense. Ori broke from the passionate embrace to escort Cullen over to his bed and both kicked off their boots unceremoniously. His heart was beating so hard he thought the whole of Skyhold would hear it as she pulled him down onto the bed with her. They kissed deeply, hungrily, tongues dancing with one another. Her fingers buried in his hair, nails biting at his scalp. She moved her attentions, dragging her fingers down his body and found her hands seeking the skin beneath his shirt. He quickly stopped to straddle her waist and rid himself of the offending clothing, swiftly pulling the garment over his head and tossing it to the floor. Both their chests were heaving with passion as she stared up at his glorious physique. She licked her lips as she studied his firm muscles from years of training, the recent and faded scars that littered his body. He was splendid. Her eyes wide with desire she began to undo her buttons. He batted her away playfully. 

“Sorry! May I?” He slowly unfastened every button, careful not to expose any flesh until his task was complete, before finally gaining his first look at his prize. *makers breath*. She was perfection, the sight of her naked breasts took his breath away, larger than he’d expected and exquisitely formed. “No binder?”

She giggled and looked down at her own naked chest “No, hah, they’re so uncomfortable, I only wear a binder when I’m riding……” Cullen’s twisted grin earned him a playful punch to his arm off her. “riding horses you filthy beast!” She rid herself of the article of clothing and they soon resumed their sensual caress, naked skin hot with desire, their fingers entwined above Ori’s head, Cullen’s mouth assaulting both her ears and neck as she squirmed and gasped beneath his touch. He set her body alight, her skin tingling with every motion of his unrelenting tongue. Cullen revelled in knowing a simple kiss could cause such a reaction in her. He moved to take her left nipple in his mouth, circling the sensitive bud with his tongue then offering a gentle nip before traveling across her chest to attend to her other. She had never been touched in such a way, with such passion and intensity. 

“Oh Cullen.” She whispered between ragged breaths “Cullen make love to me, I want to see you, to feel you……”. 

“Are you certain my love?” 

“Yes!” She purred. Never had she wanted anything more. “Cullen I want this. I want you.” That was all he needed, he could no longer control his desire for her. He stood from the bed to free himself from his remaining attire, his erection springing free. Ori got her first glimpse of his massive beautiful cock and licked her lips before he quickly moved to free her from her own leggings. 

“Makers breath Oriarna, no small clothes either?” 

She giggled “Only sometimes, tonight they seemed a little pointless shall we say.”

He lowered himself to her, taking her right foot in his hand, he took his time to kiss his way up her leg towards the ebony triangle that sheltered her glistening slit. “So wet for me my love.” She grabbed at his sheets as he sampled a taste, dipping a finger inside her slowly and bringing it to his mouth to suck away its delicious new glaze, humming in appreciation. “you taste so sweet.” Moving her legs to rest on his shoulders, he settled between them and drank in the scent of his flawless, untouched gift. She arched her back and moaned appreciatively as he finally devoured her. “Maker, you taste amazing Ori, divine.” He lapped and sucked at her sensitive pearl, finding her entrance with a finger he groaned into her as she began to move, urging him to continue his efforts, fingers buried in his hair driving his face into her. He could feel her body completely submitting to his onslaught as he drove a second finger into her and continued his work on her clit with his tongue. She abandoned his head to grasp at the bedsheets again as she was brought closer and closer to her climax. All the times she had explored her body by herself seemed inferior compared to his touch. She felt as though her whole body were aflame, waves of pleasure and heat surging through her. 

“Cullen please I’m going to……” Her orgasm exploded from her, she screamed his name, so loudly Cullen was certain most of Skyhold would have heard her, even in his secluded part of the fortress. He didn’t stop his assault even as she lay twitching and trembling beneath him, determined to take her to the pinnacle of pleasure. “Cullen, I want you inside me, I have to feel you.” She whined between frantic breaths. 

He shifted himself higher on the bed, elbows resting either side of her head. She could feel his rigid cock pressed against her and opened wide for him to settle between her legs once more. His bulging head slick with his own arousal. He steadied himself at her entrance and looked deep into his lovers eyes. 

“You are so beautiful.” Cullen leant down to deliver a tender kiss. “Ori, this may hurt a little at first but I assure you that it will not be long before you begin to enjoy it, if you want me to stop please tell me my love.” She nodded, her gaze never leaving his. He slowly entered her, emitting a low groan as he felt her tightness. She winced slightly and clenched her teeth as he moved into her carefully. Bit by bit she took all of him. He slowly began to move, encouraged by the sounds of enjoyment being uttered by his beloved. Her fingers clawed at his back as she wrapped her legs around his waist inviting him to thrust deeper. Their lips met hungrily, his mouth still coated in her slickness, his hands grasped her head tightly, fingers knotted in her wild curls. They cried and moaned a glorious chorus of passion and indulgence. 

“Ori” Cullen breathed, “I’m not sure how long I can last.” 

He fucked her deep, his thrusts becoming quicker as he pushed up onto his hands and reached between her legs to bring a finger to her clit. 

“Come for me again my sweet!” He pleaded as he felt her legs tighten around him She screamed with ecstasy and he brought her to another euphoric climax. 

“Fuck, Ori I’m gonna……”

“Cullen, come in me, I want you to come inside me, please” she begged. It was his undoing, a rich, satisfied growl escaping his lips as he pounded into her firmly for the final time, filling her with his seed. He kissed her shakily between ragged breaths and pressed his forehead to hers. 

“You’re……amazing……” He gazed at her and she back at him through hooded eyes, drunk with bliss. “Ori” He tenderly caressed her cheek, still not wanting to unsheathe himself from his pleasurable new abode. “Ori, i have never felt anything like this before, I love you.”

She smiled playfully “and I ‘literally’ haven’t felt anything like ‘that’ before!” 

“Oi!” Cullen nipped at her neck with his mouth “I was trying to be romantic and you’re spoiling it you little minx!” He chuckled as he tore himself from her embrace to lie next to her. She immediately tucked herself into him, hooking her leg over his torso, her hand pulling his face to look at her.

“Cullen, I love you too. I never thought it was possible, that you could, or would ever love me. I have been in love with you almost since the first moment I met you. I feel like the luckiest girl in Thedas.” He searched her eyes, looking for the tiniest hint of exaggeration or lie but found none, he had loved her for so long, his heart ached at the realisation. They had lost so much time, wasted countless hours dancing around their feelings, *playing bloody chess!* He shook the unwelcome thoughts from his mind. They had each other now and that was all that mattered. He looked over to the table and the untouched food and wine. 

“I wouldn’t have gone to the effort of hauling all that food up here if I’d known your hunger could be sated so easily!” He joked. 

She jolted upright next to him “You brute!” She cried, mischievously tracing her fingers down his torso towards his semi erect cock. “You never know, I might want a second helping yet!” She whispered, playfully kissing his nose and settling back into her spot. 

“You may have to give me a little time to recover my love.” He pulled her as close as he could and gently kissed her forehead. 

They drifted effortlessly off to sleep, holding onto one another. For both it was perfection. 

**********

**********

“So?” Dorian was leaning on stables entrance, arms folded, tapping his foot impatiently. 

“So what?”

“Agh Ori don’t make me beg you wicked creature, I want to know details, how did it go!”

“How did what go?” She grinned shamelessly at her friend as she continued grooming Silver. She had woken early and hurried from Cullen’s quarters, eager to deter the inevitable gossiping that could begin if she were seen leaving in the same clothing she’d wearing the previous day. She was worried about the idea of people finding out about whatever it was that was happening between the Commander and herself. She was almost certain she hadn’t been observed but of course Dorian knew of her intentions the previous evening. 

“Fine, shall I ask the Commander and watch his face turn crimson whilst he trips over his own tongue?”

“I’m joking Dor, what do you want to know?” She continued her grooming, Silver more than enjoyed being the recipient of her attentions. 

“Everything! Well perhaps not ‘everything’ but I want details, and will you stop doing that a moment, it’s distracting.” 

Ori threw her grooming mitt to one side and patted Silver firmly as the mare happily trotted her way back to her stall. 

She turned and walked towards him, swinging her hips in a sultry fashion. “Everything but not everything huh?” She purred. “Alright……… it was……… oh Dorian it was perfect, he is perfect.” He frowned at her as she stood vacantly staring up at his office with a besotted smile. 

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say on the matter is it? Uhh Ori you’re absolutely adorable but you’re awful at sharing gossip!”

“Err excuse me but who gave you permission to gossip about my personal life?”

“We gossip frequently about my sexual exploits!” 

“You gossip about them Dorian, as I recall my only involvement is listening to you with slight fear and disgust.” At that they both erupted into laughter. Once they had both caught their breath he offered her an arm. 

“Come, lets go for a drink and you can elaborate on your perfectly perfect evening.”

**********

“Hey whispers, heard a little rumour about you. I’m looking for inspiration for my new romance novel, thoughts?” 

“Oh I see, you couldn’t think of your own nickname so you stole my father’s? Shame on you Varric.” 

“Hey I like it, besides its better than Rider or Trotter.” She stared at him in horror “yeah I know……I was really struggling.” Varric smiled apologetically and poured her a drink. Ori felt so at home in Skyhold now. Earning a nickname felt like a badge of honour and she felt giddy with the acceptance it implied. It made her feel safe, almost like her role, however insignificant, was cemented and she somehow belonged. There were certain members of the Inquisition that seemed harder to figure out, harder to gage. Varric was always talking but never saying much and although she hadn’t spent much time with him she felt like he knew an awful lot about an awful lot of things, including her. His sarcasm knew no bounds and he was almost as sneaky as Bull when it came to quiet observations. “Where’d Sparkler go?” 

“He threatened go and to fetch Cullen but I expect he was joking. He’s probably gone to………Cullen!”

The Commander burst into the tavern with haste and purpose, making his way directly over to her. “Ori are you alright, Dorian came to my office said I should come to you immediately!” 

“Did he now?” Ori folded her arms over her chest, peeking around Cullen to eye her grinning counterpart. Dorian barked laughter at the two of them defiantly. “I’m so sorry Cullen, it seems you’re the victim of some childish scheme to get us together. But………now that you are here, would you like a drink?” 

“Yes Commander, do have a drink and relax, from what I’ve heard of your recent activities you’re surely in need of some rest and relaxation.” Dorian could hardly contain his amusement as he scuttled around the pair to seat himself beside Varric. A smug smirk painted across his glowing face. 

Cullen hid his irritation well, he was aware most of the taverns occupants were now watching him having witnessed his abrupt entrance. Not wanting to appear discourteous he smiled warmly at Dorian and scooped Ori up into an affectionate embrace, kissing her softly, earning them cheers from around the room. The tavern wasn’t a place for airs and graces and he wasn’t ashamed of his feelings towards her. 

“You are a most welcome distraction my love, I will stay for one drink but I’m afraid I must return to my duties shortly.” He placed her back on her feet and wagged a finger at their troublesome friend. “You my dear fellow are buying the drinks.” Dorian stood up, curtsied and gestured to the barmaid to deliver a fresh round of drinks. Cullen sat next to Ori, his arm wrapped effectively around her waist holding her to him as he lavished her with tentative nips and pecks to her neck. The drinks soon arrived, Ori could of sworn the woman had looked at her with a scowl but chose to shrug it off. If she’d had a coin for every human who had ever looked at her with disdain she’d need her own vault. 

“Don’t you two make a cute couple. Jokes aside, I am enormously happy for the two of you.” Dorian said with sincerity. “My two second favourite people in all of Thedas finally got it together. My most favourite person being myself of course.”

Cullen pulled her onto his lap and held her tightly. She shivered as his breath tickled her ear. “Yes, ‘finally’ being the operative word. I do not intend to waste a single moment with my beautiful lady.” He meant every word, Ori could tell just from the growing hardness she felt pressing on her bottom. It excited her that he was willing to be so intimate with her in such a public setting. “And thank you my friend. Don’t think I’m unaware of your part in all this, your teaching skills were appreciated though, despite the bad habits you bestowed upon her.” Ori playfully slapped his knee. “Ouch! What?” He chuckled.

“We can’t all be masters of the chess board my darling, still, at least we know who to come to if the little wooden figurines start revolting!” She gave him a tender peck to his nose and rose from his lap. “Come, I’ll walk with you back to your office if you like, it’s time I headed back to the stables and it’s almost on the way.” He took her hand in his, greeted by boos and sniffing from Dorian. 

“I’ll just get drunk alone then shall I?”

Varric proceded to wave an empty goblet in his face. “Er I’m here too Sparkler, in case you’d forgotten.”

“Hah, must be nice to have so many pressing obligations.” Ori joked. “we’ll see you both later, save me a cup gorgeous.” Sending Dorian one of her charming little winks she all but dragged Cullen from the tavern. 

**********

Cullen seemed slightly distracted on the brief stroll to his office, fidgeting with his collar and occasionally slowing his pace as if he intended to stop. Finally she could take it no longer. She knew him, she knew his ticks, the bad habits that gave him away and she had to know what troubled him. She drew them to a halt on the ramparts not far from his door and pulled him to face her. 

“Cullen………I’m sorry about this, Dorian means well, he does not intend to cause offence or annoyance, I didn’t know of he was going to trick you into coming over to the tavern.” She paused a moment, his mind seemed elsewhere, “is everything alright? You seem……preoccupied.”

“Ori, that woman, the serving girl……you cannot have failed to notice her behaviour towards you.” His voice was stern and Ori was a little shocked. “It angered me Ori, it wasn’t just as she served our drinks, it continued after that, resentful glares from across the tavern. I had to pull you to my lap to stop me from doing something I’d regret.” His fists were clenched tightly, his cheeks flushed with rage. 

“Cullen, my love, please do not let this trouble you. I have suffered it my whole life, you mustn’t let it bother you. A few dirty looks from a tavern wench isn’t enough to upset me.”

“But it does bother me, it bothers me considerably Ori, I love you! To see you treated in any manner I see unfit angers me greatly.” A lone tear escaped down his cheek as he pulled her into his grasp and held her tightly. “No one is ever going to harm you my love, not whilst I’m around.” She clutched onto him, always feeling better when he held her. The girls behaviour in the tavern hadn’t upset her for the same reason it had Cullen. But she couldn’t tell him the truth. That she knew her, had shared jokes with her, talked about horses and drunk people and shared a few lengthy conversations whilst Skyhold was emptied of inhabitants for the siege on Adamant. Ori was certain her behaviour was a simple display of jealousy. She had a sneaking suspicion it wouldn’t be an isolated incident. She had to accept the fact that she was ruffling quite a few feathers by pursuing a romance with the charming, handsome Commander of the Inquisition. 

As they entered his office together Ori began to wonder whether Cullen was prepared for what their relationship would face. She knew that few humans and elves maintained longstanding partnerships. Would he want to be with her once he’d experienced a few more of those difficult scenarios. She was accustomed to it and rarely let it get to her, but could she stand and watch as he was systematically crushed by every upsetting encounter. And there was bound to be far worse things in store from her experience. Would she stand by him, unaffected, if the situation was reversed? She knew one thing for certain, she didn’t want this to spoil things between them. If that meant she’d have to distance herself from him in public then so be it. 

**********

Ori had left Cullen to resume his work to see to her own duties. The amount of paperwork on his desk was ludicrous and she felt it necessary to give him the time to get caught up despite his insistence that it could wait. She had completed her jobs with plenty of time to allow her to revisit the tavern to see Dorian. His eyes lit up as she burst through the door with a smile. Soon after she arrived the pair were joined by a rather exhausted looking Maxwell. He seated himself and shot Dorian a weary look. To which Dorian responded with an affectionate squeeze of his leg. It hadn’t occurred to her that others experienced issues of their own, especially the Inquisitor. The weight of the world rested upon his shoulders. Her problems seemed minuscule in comparison upon reflection. He’d looked so handsome the first time she’d met him, he still did, but where before there was a bright smile there was a weathered form, dark circles cradling his once radiant eyes. They talked privately for a moment, Ori was careful not to eavesdrop. Finally they seemed to conclude their confidential chatter and Dorian excused himself offering her a shoulder squeeze as he departed. 

“Oriarna……” Maxwell hesitated, his concerned frown unnerving her a little. “Ori…… I want you to know that I am incredibly glad that you and the Commander have found happiness together at last.” Maxwell sighed heavily. As if he was about to deliver a terrible announcement of some sort. “Listen to me carefully, there are people who seek to make the Commander appear……available. Josephine and Leliana for example. I don’t not share their thoughts on the situation. I just wanted you to know that I am delighted that you are both happy. You are important to Dorian, and important to me.” 

“News certainly does travel fast around here. Your blessing is most welcome Inquisitor, it’s early days yet.……just out of curiosity, why would it be better if Cullen were not romantically involved?”

Maxwell shrugged his shoulders. “To most people it’s early days but for those that are close to you, and for you and the Commander, this has been on the cards for a while. It matters not. They are wrong to think that way, my own romantic entanglements have also been met with caution. I just thought I ought to mention it.” 

“Well thank you, I’m sure Cullen will also appreciate your support.” They sat silently. Not an uncomfortable silence, in fact Oriarna noticed he now looked noticeably calmer and happy. She felt perhaps he got few chances to just sit down. “How are you sir?” Maxwell’s brow clenched slightly as he seemed to think about her question. 

“You know, it’s been a while since anyone asked me that.” He looked around the bustling tavern then back to her and nodded “I’m……alright, I suppose.” She smiled warmly at him. “The Tevinter magister Erimond is dead, by my hand.” He looked angry, Ori’s smile dropped as she struggled to understand his meaning. 

“Oh? You don’t seem pleased about that.” 

“I’m am glad he’s dead, he deserved to die.” Maxwell’s hands clenched tightly together on the table. “I wanted to make him tranquil. I wanted to punish him, for him to suffer.” A slight quiver of his lip prompted Ori to put her hands to his, he choked down a slight whimper as she gently squeezed. “What does that say about me? The worst fate a mage can suffer and I would’ve had it bestowed upon him in a heartbeat.” 

“But you didn’t. You’re a great man Max. One of the most noble and honest I know.” He looked at her, removing one of his hands from her grip to wipe the moisture from his cheeks and let out a slight chuckle. 

“You called me Max. I like it…thank you Ori.”

They sat together a while longer. The mood had changed and Maxwell seemed to cheer up little by little. They were finally interrupted by a messenger, an invitation from the Winter Palace from what Oriarna overheard. 

**********

“Now that we have dealt with the demon army and Grey Warden threat there is the matter of the Empress. See to it that she is warmed.” 

“If your vision of the future comes to pass…if the Empress is assassinated…well, let’s just say it, all of Thedas could be lost to Corypheus.” Josephine was noticeably upset.

Leliana stepped towards the war table. “All our attempts to contact the palace have failed Inquisitor. Our only option is to secure an invitation to the peace talks.” 

“See to it.”

**********

A week passed, Ori had spent much of her free time with the Commander, although they hadn’t spent the night together since the first evening he’d returned home from Adamant Fortress. There had been a mountain of work for her in the stables and he was too preoccupied with plans for the Inquisitor’s next task. Although she was curious she made an effort not to ask about what was talked about during the meetings that claimed much of his time that week. As far as she was concerned their time was precious and shouldn’t be spent dwelling on the stresses of Inquisition life. The sun was beginning to set as she busied herself in the stables and was met by an excited Dorian. Her mouth curled into a grin as he pranced towards her with his own wide smile. 

“What has you looking so happy?”

“Can’t I just be pleased to see you?”

She raised a quizzical eyebrow. “No, not here you can’t. You hate the stables.” She playfully kicked a little muck in his direction earning a shriek from her friend. “Haha, see! What do you want?” 

“The Commander wishes you to know that his work is concluded for the day. I think he wants to see you.”

“Why are you telling me this? Couldn’t he have sent a messenger?”

“Yes, well… I was just in his office and I think I was irritating him so I was tasked with this. Preposterous really. Me? Irritating?”

“Perish the thought!” Ori dusted herself down and headed to her room. “I need to wash up and get changed.” 

“That you do, not that you ever fully manage to shift that ‘outdoorsy’ smell.” He joked as he followed her to her quarters and helped himself to a cup of wine. “Ugh, this is ghastly.” He sniffed at the beverage with disgust. 

“Not irritating you say?” She laughed. She didn’t mind him being present whilst she got herself changed . It wasn’t the first time he’d been there to help her get ready, he was quite useful to have around. Her limited wardrobe meant she appreciated his input, she had little experience in ‘dressing up’ and he seemed to be well versed in the art of flaunting. “So, how do I look?” She finally asked. 

“Ori you always look beautiful and I’m sure Cullen doesn’t actually mind what you wear. Probably won’t be wearing it long anyway.”

“You brute!” She grabbed her trusty cape and ushered him out of the room cup in hand. “Do hurry up I haven’t seen him all day.” 

“Why is everyone so keen to get rid of me this evening?”

“I’m sure Bull will be in the tavern, see you later handsome” were her parting words as she hopped up the stairs towards Cullen’s office. 

She paused at his door, ruffled her hair and straightened her top before knocking. Cullen was quick to answer and even quicker to pull her into his office, slamming the door and turning to claim her mouth and kiss her, delicately caressing the small of her back as she melted into him. “Maker I’ve missed you today. The reports were endless.” He resumed kissing her, more forcefully, she felt the need in his embrace. Once parted from his lips she glanced around him to see his desk now emptied of reports and began to imagine ways in which it could be exploited. 

Cullen had begun removing his armour whilst she was lost in thought. Once freed he was over to her. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her hard. In a moment her body lit up, electricity spreading across her skin as she melted into him. His kiss was bruising and messy as he guided her backwards towards his desk as if he had read her thoughts. She felt the connection and instinctively lifted to seat herself, wrapping her legs around his waist, her lips never leaving his as she pulled him down with her. She raked her nails through his hair as his activity moved down to her neck. He sucked at her skin hungrily, pausing only to swiftly remove his shirt before resuming his campaign, leaving traces of pink, bruised flesh in his wake. 

“Cullen…” she breathed “lock the doors.” 

Cullen expelled a loud exasperated grunt and lept up to methodically lock all of his doors. When he turned back to face her his eyes were wild with desire. His lustful stare bore into her. She had wasted no time in undressing as he’d been busy at his task and now she sat, gorgeous and naked on his desk. He drank in the sight of her body, the waterfall of ebony curls hiding just enough of her breasts to make him groan with want. She was perfect, perfect and all his. 

“Take those off!” She raised an eyebrow and pointed to the trousers now housing his massive erection. He maintained eye contact as he unlaced slowly, she licked her lips as her prize sprang free from its confines. She leapt up and began to move, running a finger along the table as she circled around to his chair she stared darkly into his eyes. “Sit.” She ordered, as she patted the top of his chair. “I want to taste you Commander.” The way she spoke sent shockwaves through his painfully erect cock and he willingly obeyed her request. He sat and she leant over him seductively, hair pouring over his chest as she kissed him tenderly whist her nails grazed his torso. His hunger for her overcame him and his hands gripped her ass. “Not yet Commander, I have a cock to devour first.” 

With that she knelt between his legs, taking a moment to digest the sight of his huge member, standing firm for her, slick with precome. She had never taken a man in her mouth, she smiled to herself, remembering Dorian had told her to imagine she’d been baking and was licking the spoon afterwards, but she wasn’t sure she would be even be able to fit her lips around him. Cullen could sense her hesitation.

“Don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with Ori, we can………oh Maker!”

“Shhhhh” She gripped the base of his shaft firmly and sensually ran her tongue up his length to sample the juices beaded on his engorged head. She was surprised how he tasted, salty but not unpleasant. She hummed appreciatively and wrapped her lips around him. He gasped and threw his head backwards at the sudden action, shivering under her motions as she took him in and out of her mouth slowly, sinking further onto him as her confidence grew. He moaned with pleasure as her movements grew more passionate and eager, moving her hand vigorously up and down his shaft as she feasted on him. He stared into her emerald eyes, his fingers tangled in her hair as her tongue teased him almost to the point of delirium. 

“Oriarna stop, I’m not done yet……fuck……I want to be inside you……”

Ori swallowed him in almost to the point of choking before relinquishing her hold on his swollen arousal. He stood almost instantly, pulling her to her feet with him. He spun her towards his desk and pinned himself against her, cupping her breasts and holding her close to him. 

“Bend over.”

Ori felt her body tremble as his breath caressed her neck, she nodded and leant over, arms bent, hands flat on the wood. She could feel his hardness pressed against her entrance as he toyed with her aching, wet cunt. She whimpered in frustration and pushed herself towards him. He teased her, withdrawing just enough to break contact and playfully smacked her bottom. She moaned with a mixture of pain and satisfaction as her skin was set alight by his punishment. He ran his fingers down her back to her hips, she felt drunk with desire, legs quivering as heat and wetness pooled between her thighs. Every caress was like lightning through her skin, the feel of his breath sent waves of fire to her core.

“Cullen please, I need you.” He leaned into her, pressing kisses to her back. They both released a carnal moan as he pushed into her, filling her in one motion. 

“Ori you feel incredible, I can’t take it” he stuttered as he thrust in and out slowly at first but soon finding a satisfying rhythm. He knew he had little time, she had seen to that with her tongue. He moved his hand around her, bringing two fingers to circle her clit. She shook beneath him and cried out as he pounded into her. She rocked her head backwards and he seized the opportunity for his other hand to claim her throat as she screamed in ecstasy. Her body tightened around him as he drew the orgasm from her and within a few frantic thrusts he came undone, biting down on her shoulder as he spilled himself inside her. She collapsed onto his desk with a satisfied sigh. Cullen could hear his heart pounding through his head as he stood up straight and then collapsed into his chair. 

“Makers breath you’re perfection Oriarna.” He pulled her to his lap and claimed her lips passionately, gently caressing her neck with his fingers. 

“I didn’t hurt you did I? It occurs to me that I may have taken things a little too far considering this all new to you.”

She lightly pressed a finger to his lips “Hush my love……it was breathtaking. You need not worry about such things, I trust you Cullen.” 

As he searched her face for any sign of discomfort or pretence she blushed faintly and brought her hands to his shoulders. “May I stay here tonight.”

“I would like that my precious, as far as I’m concerned my quarters are yours.”


	10. Always with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen makes a request, and it’s granted. Oriarna isn’t excited about it as he is.   
> Winter Palace anyone?

The sun was beaming through his roof. Cullen was gone when Oriarna woke to the whistling sound of the mountain breeze tangled in his sheets. She yawned loudly and pushed herself to sit upright. A wide grin spread across her face as she observed the table of goodies she assumed Cullen had kindly laid out for her. She rose from the bed, wrapping his sheet around herself to create a makeshift robe. She wandered across the room and plucked the note accompanying her breakfast from the table. 

Good morning my treasure,

I’m sorry for abandoning you but you were sleeping soundly.   
I’ve been called to the war room, please enjoy your breakfast.  
I will come and find you later and if we have time I’d love us   
to take a walk together.

love always Cullen 

 

She wasn’t very hungry but picked at the food a little not wanting to appear ungrateful or wasteful. She noticed Cullen had thoughtfully gathered her clothes from his office floor and folded them neatly for her beside the bed. She sat, nibbling her pastry and humming to herself but froze when she heard movement below her, someone was in the Commander’s office. She could hear two separate voices, one male and the other female, not recognising either she decided it would be best to remain quiet and undetected for she had no idea how Cullen felt about recruits and soldiers knowing his business. 

“He’s not here!” Ori heard the female voice declaring. 

“I told you he wouldn’t be, he’s probably in a war meeting.”

“Or rolling around the stables with that knife ear he’s fucking”

“Ha, you’re awful. Come, we shouldn’t be in here in his absence.”

Oriarna lost track of the conversation as they exited Cullen’s office and their voices faded. She had begun to cry and had completely lost what little appetite she had. She had to get out of there and to the stables. Her hands shook as she dressed hurriedly and headed down the ladder. Her horses always calmed her down she needed to be away from people. Awful, cruel, fucking predictable people. 

**********

Dorian marched into the stables to find Ori. He had news from the Inquisitior’s meeting and was eager to tell her before Cullen could. 

“Ori?” He searched a few stalls for signs of his friend then raced up towards her quarters but found no sign of her there either. He noticed Blackwall downstairs and shouted over to him but he also knew nothing of her whereabouts. “Where could she be?” He muttered as he descended the staircase. 

“Of course!” He exclaimed to himself as he jogged towards Silvers stall. Sure enough there she was, curled up next to Silver in the hay, sound asleep. She had a look of peace and calm but he knew her too well and he knew she was only there for one reason. Dorian drew close and gently shook her awake. “Ori? What in the makers name are you doing down there? Are you alright?”

She pushed herself up, looking slightly dazed. 

“Yes, why wouldn’t I be Dor?”

“Well, I’m your friend and I know enough about you to understand that when you’re upset about something you prefer to roll around in the dirt and hay rather than visit the tavern as a normal person would.” Dorian looked at her, his brow furrowed, no hint of his usual mischievous guise. She crawled to her feet awkwardly, dusting the muck from her clothes. 

“I can’t hide anything from you can I Dor?” She shrugged her shoulders “I don’t know what to do.” 

“About?”

“Cullen.”

Dorian barked laughter “Hah, what has he done now? Don’t tell me you’ve grown tired of him already!” 

“Don’t be absurd, of course not!” She let out an irritated groan and rubbed her face. “It’s not him, it’s everyone else!” Dorian stared at her in confusion. “Not ‘everyone’ else, just……I don’t know.” Dorian took a step towards her and offered her his hand but she closed her eyes she shook her head in response “I don’t want to go for a drink Dorian.” 

“Neither do I dear, chess is what we need.” He grabbed her hand and all but dragging her from the stables. 

**********

Cullen walked alongside Maxwell on the ramparts following the war meeting. It was a mild day, all Cullen wanted to do was take Oriarna and a horse and disappear for a few hours but he knew that there was much to do in preparation for the Empress Celene’s ball. 

“Thank you for supporting my request Inquisitior. It means a great deal to me that Oriarna accompany us to the Halamshiral, and I’m sure she’ll be overjoyed when I tell her.”

“I’m not sure Leliana was keen on the idea of bringing her along but she’s not in charge. Josephine didn’t seem to mind, although I think she’s curious more than agreeable. Either way I’m more than happy to have her there, at least I won’t be forced to look at your sulky face for days.” Maxwell gave Cullen a jovial nudge with his elbow and both men chuckled heartily. 

“Well regardless of your motives I am grateful to have your approval Inquisitor. How soon can we expect to depart?”

“A week at most if we are to arrive in time.” 

Cullen nodded as he stared out over the mountains that stood to the south and wondered how Oriarna would react to the news she would be joining them on there journey to Halamshiral. Hopefully the opportunity to explore the world outside of the fortress would be welcomed but a part of him was nervous to tell her. Orlais was not a welcoming region for elves with most living lives of servitude and slavery, despite the Orlesian’s appreciation of their beauty. 

“Would you excuse me Commander, I have an unfortunate meeting with Josephine to attend.”

“Oh?” Cullen’s mouth curled into a curious smile.

“Apparently I need a new outfit for the ball, I’m going for some unwelcome prodding and measuring. Wish me luck!”

“Hah, you’re certainly going to need it!”

**********

“Your move first Ori. Go easy on me, I bet you’ve been practicing like mad in my absence.”

The garden was peaceful as Dorian had hoped. He wanted to tell her about the meeting, about her pending journey but knew deep down it would be a selfish indulgence, it should, after all, come from the Commander. For it was at his insistence that she were to join them. Perhaps she had already been told and she was nervous, she was absolutely out of sorts and he wanted desperately for her to tell him what was wrong. He hadn’t seen her like this since arriving at Skyhold. He had assumed that once her pining for the Commander had been met with a positive response on his part she would have finally found a sense of belonging. Yet, she seemed absent and demoralised. Even so, she smiled and made her first move then relaxed back into her seat. 

“Actually I haven’t played since before Adamant.” She sighed heavily “seems so long ago. So much has happened since then.” Dorian made his first move and poured his friend a drink. 

“Your turn. Here drink this, it’s the good stuff!” She accepted the cup and took a tentative sip. 

“Dorian……do you ever wish you weren’t from Tevinter?”

“What an odd question! Not ordinarily no. I love my country, despite its many flaws, but there have been times when I thought it might have been better if I weren’t. For Maxwell that is, why do you ask?” 

“I……um……I suppose I’m just a little worried about Cullen. He commands the inquisition’s army, should he really be involved with an elf? A nobody stable maid? It can’t be good for his reputation.” She moved her next piece, realising almost straight away it was a stupid move. “I messed up, can we start again?”

“Pah! Absolutely not, how will you ever improve? Now what’s this about the Commander? Why would his reputation be at stake because of an amorous attachment?” Dorian surveyed the board and made his next move. He looked at Oriarna. She looked visibly agitated, and not because of chess game. “Ori? You can’t honestly believe that your race will influence the Commander’s choice to be with you? He adores you.”

“Of course not Dorian, I know he adores me.” She made her move, another rotten move and took a sizeable gulp of her drink. “I’ve witnessed a few things since we… made our relationship official. Sly looks, subtle whispers.” Dorian shook his head dismissively. “I’m not imagining it Dor, I heard it with my own fucking ‘knife ears’ this morning!”

“Ori!” Dorian was about to give her a stern lecture when he noticed the tear running down her cheek. “Oriarna, talk to me!”

**********

Oriarna felt much better after speaking with Dorian, despite his monumental victory on the chess board. He’d put everything in perspective for her, it was everything she already knew but it helped to hear it from someone else. It was gossip, not intended for anyone to hear. It was still early in the afternoon and Cullen was out in the practice yard sparring with half a dozen recruits when she made her way down from the great hall. She saw his stance change as he noticed her presence *he’s such a show off* she thought to herself. But it made her smile and caused a flutter in her stomach. He stood taller, putting all his marvellous attributes on display for her as he shed his shirt, met her gaze and returned to his contest. Ori decided to watch for little while and seated herself on the grass.

"Safe and solid, protecting and proud. He feels like quiet, stronger when you hold him." 

“Oh! Hello Cole, how long have you been here?”

“Here? I like it here.” Cole stared at her with sad eyes, then looked to the Commander. “He doesn’t know you hurt. He only sees your light. But it’s not as bright now. *calous glares, cruel whispers. Stinging with their wicked tongues* I could help, if you forget them you’ll shine.” He looked back to Ori who was struggling to fight the tears from returning. “He knows only love and peace with you, calm and gladness, but he can’t help you if you don’t show him how.”

“Thank you Cole but I don’t need any help.” She looked over at her wonderful man. “If I forget ‘the bad’ then how would I know how amazing ‘the great’ is? I’m going to be just fine”. He was gone as abruptly as he’d appeared. 

She sauntered over to the ring as yet another recruit surrendered to Cullen’s mastery and leaned seductively over the fence. Her long curls falling over her chest as she bit her lower lip with a lustful stare. 

“Quite an impressive display Commander” she purred 

Cullen strode towards her and pulled her into an insistent kiss. “How could I fail when I have my very own good luck charm watching?” He kissed her again, tenderly stroking her cheek. “I have to clean up my love, wait for me at the stables? I have some good news,”

She nodded enthusiastically and claimed his lips once more before trotting down the stairs back to the stables. 

**********

Silver watched Ori’s every move as she moved around the stables back and forth completed her jobs. Blackwall laughed as he observed the interaction between them. 

“She really is watching you, it’s fascinating.” 

“She always does, occasionally she tries to help but I’m not sure she realises she’s a horse at times!” Oriarna joked. Silver snorted and shook her head. “She knows we’re talking about her!” Cullen’s arrival in the stables was met with a broad smile from Ori. Blackwall greeted him then excused himself leaving his woodwork for a later time. She rushed over to him, eagerly pulling him into a passionate kiss.

“I missed you” he breathed 

“Cullen you saw me a couple of hours ago!”

“And it feels like it’s been an eternity.” He brushed a thumb over her lips gently and kissed her again hungrily. She sank into his affections only breaking their kiss when she felt dizzy with lust. It was as though they had become incapable of having a conversation without their passion getting the better of them. 

“You said you had some good news?”

“Ah yes.” He still held her as he searched his mind for the right words. She gazed up at him expectantly. “I’d like you to go and see Josephine at some point today my love.” She frowned. “We’re going to Halamshiral, to the Winter Palace.”

“We? You mean the Inquisitor and yourself?”

“Yes, and you my love, Well not to the palace, you’ll accompany us on the journey.” Cullen did not get the reaction he had expected. She didn’t appear to be happy or excited. In fact she looked tense, he had expected her to be elated but her reaction disappointed him. “I hoped you’d be pleased, have I done something wrong?”

“Are you certain that’s a good idea?” She relinquished her hold on him and began to nervously pace back and forth. 

“I thought this would make you happy. We would be able to enjoy some time together away from Skyhold. Not only that, I cannot face the thought of being separated from you my love. It’s not a social event of course, we will need the horses to be tended to whilst we travel but I thought a change of scenery would be appreciated.”

“I’m not sure……are you certain you want me to come along? I wouldn’t want my presence to cause any trouble.” She fidgeted, twisting her hands as she continued to pace. Cullen watched her growing agitation with confusion. 

“Ori! Will you stand still for a moment and look at me.” She complied, spinning to face him but avoiding his gaze like a scolded child. “Why would your presence cause trouble? I’m not sure I understand.” 

She signed in defeat, she didn’t want to tell him about the upsetting events she’d witnessed over the last couple of days. Orlais would immeasurably worse than Skyhold. It wouldn’t be a chance to enjoy time away from the keep, it would be be a mess, it would be a whole new set of judgemental onlookers and disapproving whispers. How could she hope to enjoy such a thing. 

“I just think that our travelling together might be met with some hostility, some would even say our relationship is a little inconsiderate when we take into account what’s at stake.”

Cullen smiled at her and held out his hand “Come, I want to show you something.” She squinted, slightly confused but also intrigued. 

“Alright.” Taking his outstretched hand she was led towards the stairs and up onto the ramparts. 

**********

They stood looking out over the vast expanse of snow capped mountains and land. Cullen stood behind her, cradling her waist as he took in her scent as her wild curls danced in the cool breeze. It was so quiet that she could almost imagine that there was only the two of them in the whole world. 

“Ori, what do you see?”

“I see……snow…and ice! Ooh and a teeny tiny little ram down there in the distance, a few birds…!”

Cullen chuckled down her ear making her shoulders tense as his breath tickled the side of her face. “You’re spending too much time with Dorian. I see all that also, but beyond that, what else?” He could see her examining the landscape, too literally, and decided to interject. “I see our life beyond these walls, infinite possibilities. There is much beyond skyhold. Beyond the Inquisition.”

She turned to face him, stretching to bring her arms around his neck. “Our life?” She smiled up at him as he nervously cleared his throat. “our life……together?” 

His hand flew up to rub his neck. She just continued to smile playfully at him. Suddenly doubt crept over him like cold wave. They had known each other for months now despite only having consummating there relationship very recently. It didn’t feel like a new pairing. He felt as though he’d always known her, could tell her anything but speaking of lives together could be a stretch too far. “I er, it just occurred to me that the inquisition won’t last forever, I find myself wondering what will happen afterwards. One day we’ll be free to make choices about where we want our lives to take us. I won’t want to move on, not from you.” He searched her face, there was no sign of hesitation, her smile was unwavering as she brought herself up onto her tiptoes and pulled him down to meet her with a soft kiss.

“Cullen, as long as the world is still standing after all this, I will be here, always with you.” He smiled down at her and felt absolutely at peace. This was like nothing he’d ever felt before. He didn’t want to ever be without her.

They made their way back towards the stables hand in hand. “You know, something I overheard gave me an idea……ever rolled around the stable floor with a cute little elven temptress?” She giggled

“Can’t say I ever have.” Cullen said as they arrived at the stables. “And I must confess I don’t hate the idea of it now that you mention it.” He began to nibble at her neck, having enjoyed several intimate moments with her he knew full well that was one spot she liked to receive his attentions. 

“Actually, I’m not sure that’s such a good idea” she smiled cutely, running her thumb sensually across his lips then pulling him down into her own whispered response “have you seen how ‘dirty’ it is in here Commander?” Cullen felt a sudden surge of heat shooting through his body as her hand slowly journeyed towards his growing cock. She pouted at him playfully as she teased him with her fingers. “Bit of a shame though, it seems that you like it dirty.” Cullen rocked his head backwards with a groan as she rubbed his him through his clothing. An unexpected cough from somewhere close by startled the pair. 

“Er I’m sorry, but I saw you heading to the ramparts so returned. You weren’t aware I was here and I didn’t want to……see something I shouldn’t.” Blackwall was red faced and flustered as he scooted past the two of them avoiding eye contact muttering something about being the only person in Skyhold who isn’t ‘getting some’. He hurried away towards the courtyard as they clung to one another in shock. Finally Cullen’s chest began to shake as he tried to suppress his amusement. It was too much and eventually both broke out into fits of laughter. 

“Poor Blackwall.” Ori uttered between her snorts and sniggering. “You had better get back to work before we cause anymore chaos.”

Cullen sighed as his own chuckling subsided. “You are right.” The look on his face changed from joy to gloom. “About Halamshiral.” Ori sunk and Cullen noticed. “My darling you need not come if you are uncomfortable. I only wish you to be happy, nothing more.”

She seemed to spend a few seconds in thought before pulling him closer for a comforting squeeze. “No, I will come.” Cullen heard her whisper quietly as he held her tightly. “Like I said……always with you.”

**********

Preparations had taken place all week for the trip to Orlais. Cullen visited the stables briefly on his way to the War Room most mornings. On this day he was greeted by the magnificent sight of Oriarna, stripped almost to her smalls as she whirled around busily conducting her duties. It was a warm day and her daringly see through shirt clung seductively to her frame and Cullen felt a stirring within him as he caught traces of pink flesh peaking through her sweat bathed clothing. He had seen her confidence growing in light of their relationship. As though he had somehow awakened a darkly magnetic siren. She alerted him to feelings and sensations he’d long forgotten. A hunger he thought he was unlikely to know again. She was more enticing and addictive than the Lyrium he had been bound to and he was so thankful that he wouldn’t have to be parted from her. She had offered him an impish grin as she watched him focus on her lean torso, glistening with perspiration, exposed as she lifted her arms to tie her hair into a messy bun. She could see the want in his stare, welcoming the warm sensations that his lust for her encouraged. 

In a few fierce steps he was on her, delivering a forceful kiss, invading her mouth with his tongue and pulling her tightly into his grasp. It had only been a few hours since he’d seen her but his craving for her was powerful and he could barely control himself. Dazed with passion she withdrew from his clinch and exhaled sharply. 

“My, what did I do to deserve that?” She laughed

“I’m sure you’re well aware of what you’re doing, I only came by to say hello on the way to the War Room.” He took her hand pressing his lips to her knuckles softly with a sweet smile. “I’ve a feeling that this meeting will be anything but brief.” He turned to leave casually blowing her a parting air kiss. “Pack light. I expect we’ll be departing at dawn.” 

She bit down on her bottom lip with a satisfied smirk as she watched him walking away oozing charisma. He was almost unrecognisable from the fumbling, awkward man she’d met when she arrived at the keep. Gone was the troubled, hesitant Cullen. He had always been strong, that wasn’t in doubt, but his temperament had softened to reveal the most beautiful man, weakened by his past and but subsequently strengthened by it. It had taken days of reassurance and sweet gestures from Cullen to bring her around to the idea that she would benefit from a trip away from Skyhold. It had been a few months since she’d arrived, never venturing further away than the lake she had often visited with her dearest. Perhaps he was right, perhaps no harm could come from a trip away. It also meant that she wouldn’t be parted from her other friends. 

***********

“We’re going to need as many eyes and ears as possible, we cannot allow this assassin to succeed.” Leliana handed Josephine a list of associates she had cleverly managed to place around the Winter Palace. Several elven servants and half a dozen carefully chosen guards. “We will also be taking two servants along with our party to tend to our needs as we attend the ball. Cullen’s troops will be smuggled inside in small groups so they do not attract attention.”

Josephine concentrated on the list with a disturbingly fiendish grin. “How thrilling to be in the thick of the game once more. I do hope that the ball is as exciting as it is dangerous!”

“Josie!”

Just then the pair were interrupted as the Commander entered shortly followed by the Inquisitor. The following discussion was long and tedious. The journey would see them spending several nights in designated inquisition camp sites before finally arriving at Halamshiral where they would spend the night before making their way to the palace by carriage. All agreed that The Iron Bull should perhaps not be amongst the Inquisitors guests regardless of his Ben Hassrath training, along with Sera he was banned, too much risk involved. It was agreed that Varric, Cassandra and Dorian would accompany the Inquisitor, all were well versed in matters of decorum, mostly, Maxwell maintaining that Dorian would be on his best behaviour so long as there was plenty of wine and a dance reserved for him. It seemed as though everything was set.


	11. Far from home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too much excitement for one evening.  
> Journey…  
> Ball…  
> Oriarna receives a shock.

Oriarna rode beside Dorian as they left the keep. Cullen was at the head of the troop speaking with Maxwell and Leliana. She was still feeling slightly uncomfortable at being included but there was a no reason she couldn’t make the most of this opportunity. She was a part of something important, even if her ‘part’ was relatively insignificant. It mattered to Cullen that she came along, she mattered to Cullen. She shifted her weight on Autumn’s saddle as the thoughts of her Commander made her stomach flutter. She watched him with a doting smile as he conversed with his colleagues but couldn’t hear anything over the sounds of horse hoofs and the din from the soldiers chatter. 

“That suits you. You should wear it more often.” Dorian grinned at her as she turned to look at him, her smile enduring. 

“What?” She said softly 

“That smile. You could vanquish an army with a simple curl of those pretty lips I dare say.”

“I could say the same for you sir.” She said, blushing uncontrollably. Despite their closeness she had never been good at accepting compliments from anyone, even Dorian. She was unfamiliar with the concept of self worth, a stranger to arrogance. Even with the love from her Commander and approval from her friends she found it hard to imagine she was more than just an orphaned elf. She saw the disgust, when certain people looked at her, it was not something she was unaccustomed to. She was just thankful that her only part in this venture was tending to her four legged friends. Balls and assassins and Empresses were not for her. 

“So, who is this again?” Dorian gestured to his mount

“That’s Summer Dorian.”

“Hah! Get behind me then! Autumn always follows Summer!” Dorian all but fell from his horse laughing at his own joke as Ori rolled her eyes in protest. Varric was soon beside them eager to know what was so funny, his reaction not so different to hers once he heard the joke. They rode like that much of the way to their first campsite, laughing and joking, no one keen to discuss the mission at hand. Ori wanted nothing more than to be up at the front beside her beloved. She knew his duties came before anything she yearned for but hours of following him from a distance had frustrated her, even with her friends to keep her distracted and entertained she missed him painfully. 

As everyone began to dismount and set up camp it suddenly occurred to her she had no idea where she was to sleep. There had been no discussion about the arrangements whilst traveling. Was she to share a tent with the other elves accompanying the group? Leliana had brought several elven spies she hoped to place in the palace and there were a number of elven scouts and servants. After developing a certain peace of mind about the whole situation earlier she found herself once more feeling awkward and out of sorts. Dorian had abandoned her to speak to Maxwell. She glanced around for some direction, getting down from her horse she felt the cold metal of armour on her waist as she was encouraged to spin round. 

Cullen kissed her fiercely and she was powerless to withdraw from his hold in spite of her dilemma, his tongue exploring her mouth hungrily as she lost herself in the moment she had been lusting after these hours they had traveled. Her body was set alight by his attentions and she pulled him closer, needing to feel his solid form against her. 

“I’m sorry, I just had to do that, come, I’ll help you settle into our tent.”

**********

The journey had been almost everything Oriarna had expected. Full of dirt, discomfort and danger. If it wasn’t seemingly rabid wolves and giant spiders attacking them it was grotesque red Templar monstrosities and their slightly less horrifying chums. She had not anticipated such a journey. Admittedly she hadn’t given much thought to the actual traveling at all, her anxieties and apprehensions had all centred around the ball and the pending absence of her Commander. There was likely to be an abundance of women there, women far more likely to be a suitable companion for a man such as Cullen. They had shared his tent for the duration, making sure to keep their frequent lovemaking as discreet as possible. Dorian had of course been an ever present nuisance as well as a great distraction for most of the trip. Acting as both tormentor and councillor in his usual way. Oriarna felt glad that the Inquisitor had finally decided to include him in his adventures, seeing him left left behind on more than one occasion had been difficult. She knew he longed to be at Maxwell’s side. There was also the added benefit of having her partner in crime at her side to pass the time when everyone was busy with briefings and meetings. 

A days travel from Halamshiral the mood was flat, quiet, eerie even. Ori sat cross legged by the campfire making repairs to one of her favourite socks after supper. Dorian lay beside her leaning up against her knee reading as best he could in the dimly lit clearing. Suddenly there was a commotion from the war tent. Disagreements were quite common but the very raised voices from everyone in there could only mean something serious was happening, or about to happen. Dorian jolted upright and strained to hear what was being said. 

“maybe there’s been a……”

“SHHHHH! I’m trying to listen!” Dorian waved his hands in her face rather rudely as he eavesdropped as best he could. “They’re talking about you Ori.”

“What? They aren’t. Are they? Why?” She too was now still and silent. They clung to one another, holding their breath, silently cursing the noises crackling from the fire. They could hear obvious protests and anger from both Cullen and Leliana, whilst Josephine and Maxwell’s side of the conversation was much more controlled and quiet. All seemed to settle just as quickly as it had escalated and within moments Cullen was marching towards her, his telling hand nervously finding its way to rub his neck. He stood for a few seconds, staring blankly back and forth between Ori and Dorian.

“Is everything alright Cullen?” Ori jumped to her feet.

“Yes…uhm, everything is……would you accompany me a moment please my love, the Inquisitor wishes to speak with you. She nodded slowly, a little apprehensive at the request. 

“Boooooo! Aren’t you going to tell me what all the yelling was about? I do love a good argument.”

“You’ll find out soon enough my friend, now may I steal Ori, just for a few minutes.” Cullen took her hand in his and led her towards the tent. She glanced back at her pouting friend and smiled apologetically before their brief walk was halted. Cullen brought her into his arms, holding her tightly he pressed his cheek to her ear, quietly and quickly he whispered just two words to her before opening the tent for her to enter.

“say no…”

**********

Oriarna was frozen where she stood. Her thoughts racing as Josephine explained. She almost felt like laughing. The bottom line was she was needed at the palace. A service role of course, but unfortunately for her, she was exactly the right size for the dress and no one else could do it. A spontaneous encounter with their giant poisonous spider friends had left one of Josephine’s ladies incapacitated. It was obvious to her that Leliana had strong objections. She stood quietly, arms folded across her chest with a look of utter fury. Cullen too was making no attempt to hide his opposition to the plan. He could barely make eye contact with anyone there as he leant on the table staring at the map. 

Finally Cullen couldn’t listen quietly any longer. “Again! Why her? Why does it have to be her?” His hands now squeezed into tight fists as he fought to control his anger. He looked up to see an unwavering, unaffected Josephine casually looking at him from over her notepad. However it was the Inquisitor who responded. 

“My friend, Commander, I want her there.” Cullen turned to Maxwell, his expression slightly softer but anger being replaced by embarrassment. “I trust her. Of course there are other members of the inquisition that could do this job, perhaps do it better even.” He moved around to Oriarna who had remained completely silent throughout the entire discussion and placed an arm around her shoulders, gently squeezing her closer as an offering of comfort. “I need people there that I can trust and rely upon.” He spoke to everyone, straightening his posture and linking his hands behind back. “We need as many eyes and ears in the ballroom as possible remember? Now I want to hear from Oriarna.”

Ori felt her pulse quickening, palms sweating, legs wobbling uncontrollably. If a simple discussion could generate such reaction from her she had no hope. She looked towards Cullen for reassurance, knowing full well what he wanted. “……say no……” Her soft and sweet Commander wore a stone facade. She closed her eyes to escape watchful stares from around the table to see her parents in her minds eye, always there to comfort her, always a great source of support and encouragement. They would surely disapprove of her involvement as much as Cullen did but would ultimately agree it was only right to help where she could.

“I will help.” It was almost a whisper as she held her eyes closed 

“Excellent. Come to my tent at dawn for a briefing.” 

Oriarna opened her eyes to acknowledge Josephine’s order just in time to see Cullen unprofessionally storm from the tent. Closely followed by Leliana. 

“I don’t understand why he’s behaving this way. Am I going to be in a lot of danger?”

“We’re the ones who will be in danger, you’ll be perfectly safe Ori, you’re just an extra presence, you’ll do nothing more than watch. No offence but people will barely notice you, Dorian is coming remember.” Maxwell did his best to reassure her noticing her look of regret. “I understand where the Commander is coming from……its Leliana’s reaction that is the most concerning.” Maxwell looked visibly distressed all of a sudden and excused himself. Ori offered a friendly nod towards Josephine and also excused herself. She needed to find Cullen. 

**********

Ori wandered around camp searching for Cullen to no avail. He was normally easy to spot with his golden locks and extravagant mane but she couldn’t see him anywhere. Dorian waved from beside the fire before shaking his head and strutting towards her. 

“What’s wrong with your face? You look stressed.” 

“Have you seen Cullen?”

“I believe he stomped off towards the river.” Dorian waved a hand away from camp down towards the riverbank. 

“Thank you” off she headed in the direction Dorian had pointed to almost before he had finished telling her.

“Wait! Aren’t you going to tell me what’s going on?” He got no response

**********

Ori was far from camp when she spotted her Commander. The lanterns and fires merely a subtle glow in the distance as she looked to check she could still find her way back. 

“You left! Why did you leave?” She asked as she neared his silhouette in the darkness. 

Cullen sat on a bank, tossing stones into the slow moving water. He glanced over to her then back to the river. 

“You’re ignoring me. Alright. Well when you decide you want to talk I’ll be in Dorians tent, I do not wish to spend the next few hours beside a man with whom I cannot have a civilised conversation. Good night Commander.”

“I’m ignoring you? You ignored me! Am I so at fault here? Why didn’t you do as I told you?” Ori couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. She spun to walk back to camp. “Stop! Do not walk awa…”

“DON’T SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY! I AM NOT ONE OF YOUR SOLDIERS!” She screamed as she whirled round to see him now on his feet facing her. “You do not command me! I do not follow orders from you!” Cullen stared at her, nostrils flaring. “I serve the Inquisitor and the Inquisition. I will help where and when I can. You of all people should appreciate that Cullen!” She took a deep breath, moved a couple of steps towards him and paused. “Please talk to me Cullen.” She watched as his eyes slowly softened and his jaw relaxed. She had never stood up to anyone in such an aggressive manner, her heart felt like it would beat out of her chest as the adrenaline rushed through her body. She continued to stare into his eyes, pleading, searching. 

Cullen stared right back at her. His outrage having been replaced with a new feeling. Heat and passion surged through him. No woman had ever spoken to him in such a way. It fuelled the raging fire within him. 

“Forgive me.” He rushed towards her pulling her into him and claiming her mouth in a flash. Ori was powerless and didn’t care as she melted into his frenzied kiss. One hand on the back of her head and the other on her waist held her almost painfully as his mouth advanced down her jawline and onto her neck. She moaned his name with pleasure as his touch set her skin aflame. Cullen stopped only to survey the distant flickers of light from camp before resuming his assault on her neck. His hands now gripping her ass he lifted her and lowered her onto the ground. He knelt between her legs and started to remove his gloves. 

“Fuck the armour. I need you now!” She pulled him down to her and nimbly rolled them over so she could settle over his growing want. She pulled her tunic over her head to reveal the gorgeous flesh beneath. Cullen eagerly took one beautiful pink bud in his mouth whilst he groped the other, running his thumb across her peak as he squeezed and massaged. His caress sent shivers through her body. Tearing herself from his attentions to stand she kicked her boots off and untied her leggings, quickly easing them over her hips letting them drop to the floor and stepping free from them. Cullen groaned and grabbed his painfully bulging dick through his clothing as she straddled his thighs in the darkness her skin glowing in light of the moon. “That’s mine!” She whispered as she pushed his hands aside and impatiently ripped free his swollen cock. Her touch was forceful. Overcome with desire she took him deep into her mouth whilst her hands gripped his shaft tightly. Cullen gasped and shook as she devoured every inch she could, taking him deep into her mouth then back out to run her tongue over his head. It hadn’t taken her long to get to grips with pleasuring him with her mouth, in fact she had become so adept that he almost resented how quickly she made him come undone. 

“Ori, stop…fuck that’s so……Makers breath stop my love!” It took all of his resolve to pull her away from her task. He moved quickly. Rolling her onto her back he wasted no time as he plunged his cock deep into her. Both cried out with pleasure as her soaking cunt readily accepted the intrusion. He fucked her hard, fast, urgently. It didn’t seem to matter that he still had his clothing and the majority of his armour on, if anything it felt thrilling and animalistic. They were far from camp but not so far that they couldn’t be caught in the act at any moment. He shushed her, grudgingly, her cries were intoxicating but fear that her moans of pleasure might be heard from camp as her excitement grew louder were spoiling his rhythm. Realising he was close she brought her own fingers to her clit, easily drawing out her orgasm as he thrust into her reaching his own climax. He clumsily dismounted and flopped onto his back beside her, his chest heaving as his exertions caught up with him. 

Both lay on the ground gasping for breath a moment before Ori quietly began to giggle and rolled to face him. His eyes were closed but she saw the corners of his mouth kink into a slight smirk. 

“You’re all sweaty!” She noted, bringing her hand to his brow to rid him of the offending beads of perspiration, bringing a soft kiss to his temple afterwards. Cullen continued his heavy breathing as she sat up and looked around for the clothes she had carelessly discarded and began to dress herself next to him. “Did we just have a fight?” 

“I suppose……more of a slight disagreement.”

“Hmm”. She continued to dress herself, tossing her long hair as she pulled her tunic over her head and started to tie her boots. “Perhaps we should disagree more often if that’s the result.” 

Cullen chuckled “I couldn’t help myself, you don’t know what you do to me, there’s something irresistible about you when you get angry, but I would rather we didn’t argue my love.” He sat up to rest on an elbow, bringing his other hand across his chest to rub her thigh through her leggings, slightly disappointed that she’d managed to get them on almost as quickly as she’d gotten out of them minutes ago. “I’m sorry if I spoke out of term. I’m used to people following my orders. The decision was yours to make and shouldn’t have reacted like that.” 

“Cullen…” She ran her thumb over his cheekbone as she palmed his jaw and leant towards him planting a soft kiss to his lips. “I like that you care, I love that you worry.” He gazed into her eyes, glittering like the stars that peppered the sky above them as she spoke “Cullen…”

“Yes my love.“

“Put your cock away, Dorian’s on his way over!” Cullen quickly moved to preserve his modesty and not a moment too soon. 

“Not interrupting anything am I?” Dorian snorted as he approached. “Of course I’m not, I heard you finishing from camp. You pair are filth. It’s disgusting and adorable. Maxwell wants to speak with you Commander.” Cullen clumsily got to his feet, his legs still weak, Dorian laughed as he steadied himself and bid farewell to them both. 

“Don’t say a word!” Ori hissed as she got to her feet. 

“Not a word… so… the Winter Palace? This is going to be fun.”

“Perhaps, but I have a bad feeling.”

**********

Ori rode inside the carriage with Josephine, Cassandra and the other elven servant accompanying them to the palace. Her gown was simple and uncomfortable ‘perfect fit indeed’ she thought sarcastically ‘maybe if I surrendered my breasts and my arse’. She wasn’t as skinny as most elves and was always aware of this. She hated binding clothing, had rarely had the opportunity to wear anything fancy and this was in no way anything special but she felt ridiculous. She also hated the fact her hair was pinned up. After years of masking and covering her ears they were out for all to see, it made her feel sick. She fidgeted nervously with the lace on her sleeve and couldn’t help but feel she had made a big mistake. She had nothing to do, she had no part to play other than to look pretty and keep her mouth shut and eyes open but she was completely out of her comfort zone. She was well aware that her presence was not approved by either Leliana or Cullen, worryingly, even Maxwell seemed to have developed an air of doubt after his talk with Leliana but Josephine insisted she was a paragon of beauty and would be a great commodity to show off. 

She looked across the carriage to the beautiful elven servant Josephine had also hand picked to accompany her and sighed to herself. *What am I even doing here?* she thought to herself as her elven peer sat calmly smiling as she gazed out of the carriage window before looking to her with the same serene gesture. She couldn’t help but notice how similar they looked, although her brown eyes were not as piercing as her own emerald eyes. 

“We’re almost there.” Josephine informed. “Now remember ladies, stand up straight, only speak when spoken to and say as little as possible, keep your eyes open and listen to the conversations around you……and smile, this is a ball!” She gave Oriarna a telling look and she immediately sat up straight and smiled sweetly. “Now there will be eyes on you, Orlesians have a certain aesthetic fondness for elves so you will be subject to much attention, but this is all part of ‘the game’ and will only highlight the Inquisition’s impeccable taste.” 

“Ughhh……We are not here to crow and posture. We are here stop an assassin, or have you forgotten.” Cassandra all but spat her words at Josephine who simply cleared her throat and continued. 

“If you should happen to see anything you regard as suspicious or sinister simply say ‘have you tried the petit four my lady?’ And someone will come and speak to you discreetly. Any questions?” Both girls looked at one another then back to Josephine before agreeing that they understood their instructions. 

They began to slow down as Ori caught sight of the palace through her window. It was the most extravagant and beautiful building she had ever seen, there was something magical about it. They had been completely excessive in their application of ornaments but she knew that was probably just the tip of the iceberg. Her nerves were all over the place despite quiet reassurances from her knew friend, this was more than she had signed up for. They had reached their destination and there was no turning back. Her pulse was thundering along and her stomach tied in knots. She took a deep breath as she exited the carriage and followed her companions up the grand staircase towards the entrance. 

“Don’t be afraid Oriarna, we’ll be fine.” Whispered her partner. “I’m Vala, and I’m here right beside you.” Ori smiled shyly in response and felt somewhat calmer, especially once she spotted her Commander ahead of them speaking with Maxwell and Leliana. He looked so handsome in his formalwear, like a dashing prince. It always made her heart skip a beat and her stomach flip to see him but she was already very aware of the stares and was careful not to let anyone see her being affected. *what am I even doing here?* she thought again as her growing nervousness began to take over once more. 

“Ready ladies?” Josephine gestured for both girls to follow her. This was it. 

**********

Bright, noisy, completely over the top. The Winter Palace was incredible, and disgusting. That smell, the smell of arrogance and snobbery. Too many egos in one space. Oriarna felt eyes all over her and Vala, it made her skin crawl. Dorian had winked and smiled at her from across the grand ballroom at every opportunity, she could tell it was killing him to be so far away from her when there was so much around for them to poke fun at together. Josephine had introduced them to her sister. Yvette was actually very sweet, asking questions and acting genuinely interested in the Inquisition and the Inquisitor. They stood coyly beside Josephine, tending to the needs of the Inquisitor and his party wherever needed. After a while Cullen made his way over to them, seemingly quite relieved to escape the horde of women (and men) he’d attracted. Oriarna couldn’t help but feel jealous, watching crowds of women batting their eyelashes and whispering maker knows what in his ear brought an unwelcome feeling to the pit of her stomach. 

“The Inquisitor is about to head to the servants quarters, how is everyone holding up?” Cullen fidgeted with his collar in an attempt to loosen it. He then spoke quietly to Ori. “Are you alright? You seem to have attracted a following as large and unwelcome as my own.” 

“I’m fine Commander. And I see no following to rival your own!” There was a mocking tone to her voice that Cullen didn’t appreciate. Maybe she hadn’t noticed the attention she was receiving but he certainly had. The guards nudging one another and staring at both elves with sinful intent, the nobleman by the door, the elven servant serving drinks towards the vestibule, even the women attending the ball were intruding with their hair fondling and face touching as they commented on both girls captivating features. He did well to restrain himself and still the unfavourable response this type of conduct usually prompted from him. 

“You look beautiful by the way my love.” He whispered sweetly. “I certainly cannot deny that you would absolutely attract my curiosity if I was one of these men.”

“You’re sweet Commander but I honestly haven’t noticed anything untoward.”

“The nobleman behind you has done nothing but leer, and don’t even get me started on the elf I’ve seen ogling you from across the ballroom. Every time I look his way he is staring in your direction, very inappropriate given his position, and those women, with their prodding fingers. The sooner I get you out of here the better.”

Ori looked across the ballroom in the direction Cullen had indicated but could only see the back of the silver haired elf as he served drinks, the women he had referred to were currently tormenting Dorian, seemingly unaffected by his claims that women were not his type, although knowing what Dorian was like he was undoubtedly enjoying the spotlight. So what if she was being noticed, the only attention she desired was that of her Commander and he knew that. She wasn’t even sure how to react, knowing full well her entire reason for being there, other than being an extra presence for the Inquisition, was to look pretty, how could she blame anyone for showing interest. 

The remainder of Ori’s time at the ball was spent smiling through gritted teeth as Orlesian nobles congratulated Josephine and the Inquisition on their fine taste in servants, several even hinting at the possibility of ‘borrowing’ Vala and Oriarna for a few days. Neither of them had needed to use the phrase despite their vigilance. She was thankful when the Inquisitor returned from the royal wing to expose Florianne as the conspirator and had her taken away, very thankful. Thankful that she hadn’t been required, thankful that the whole horrible evening was almost at an end.

Ori smiled at Cullen as he congratulated Maxwell before he moved towards her and the Inquisitor journeyed onto one of the balconies to the rear of the ballroom, quietly followed by a dark haired woman wearing perhaps one of the strangest outfits she’d seen all night. 

“What an evening, if I never see the Winter Palace again I’ll die a happy man.” Cullen chuckled as he neared Ori. She was still, with the strangest look on her face as she stood transfixed on something across the ballroom. “Ori?” Cullen got no response from her. He looked over to where she seemed to be focusing but saw nothing except a few drunk noblewomen gossiping away about the evenings revelations as they were served drinks. She was frozen on the spot, her eyes blank and her skin deathly pale. “Oriarna……?”

She wasn’t sure if what she was seeing was real. Her breath held and her heart hammering in her chest as a wave of nausea rushed over her. She squeezed her eyes shut then opened them. The beads of anxious sweat began to form on her cheeks, her head started to spin as the room got more and more quiet. Then……darkness. 

**********

“Is she going to be alright?” 

“She will be fine Cullen. Good as new the minute she wakes up.” Dorian patted him on the back as he sat beside him in the vestibule. “She just fainted my friend, and I’m not at all surprised. That dress is awfully tight!”

“She is awake. May I suggest someone escorts her back to camp as soon as possible. She didn’t belong here, we still have work to do no?” Leliana looked less than happy at the situation. Cullen got to his feet in a flash and headed towards the small room Ori had been rushed to after she had passed out, she was still lying down on the bed but she was now smiling and her eyes were as bright and beautiful as they should be. He raced over to her and brought her softly into his arms. 

“I’m so sorry Cullen……I don’t……I’m not sure what came over me. I um, I couldn’t stop it from happening. I didn’t cause a scene did I?”

“No my heart, and I want you to stay right here and rest whilst we conclude our talks with the Empress.” Cullen kissed her sweetly and slowly lowered her back onto the bed. Cullen exited the room past Dorian who blew her a kiss from the doorway before following Cullen back outside to the vestibule. She relaxed onto the pillows and soon drifted off to sleep. 

She wasn’t sure how long she had fallen asleep for but the faint click of the door closing made her stir. 

“You look just like her.”

She couldn’t move or speak. Her intruder posed no threat but she had simply lost her voice and could do nothing but stare at the figure by the door. He took couple of steps towards her and still she could do nothing. 

“I’m sorry Oriarna.” 

“I……I……l know you.” She managed to stammer.

Just as the elf was about to respond Inquisition troops accompanied by the Commander swarmed into the room with swords drawn. “What’s the meaning of this intrusion!” Cullen barked as the elf dropped to his knees and bowed his head. “I demand an answer!” Cullen looked to Ori as she scrambled to get to her feet. She ran towards him quickly, not wanting his temper to claim this mans life before her eyes. “He didn’t hurt you did he.” His question was aimed at Ori but his stare never left the figure on his knees before him with his head hung in shame. 

“Of course not Cullen, he…”

“What gives you the right to be in here servant?” Cullen hissed. “Did you you decide that after an evening of blatant leering you would seize the opportunity to sneak up on a sleeping woman?” Cullen’s grip on his sword was so tight his fingers were starting to go numb. 

“Cullen he hasn’t done anythi…”

“I want to hear from him!” Cullen continued to stare at the elf with sword aimed towards him. “Did you seek to put your hands on her?”

“Cullen he…”

“Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?”

“Cullen stop, he…”

“You’re a disgrace, probably old enough to be her father!”

“Cullen STOP!” Ori fell to her knees in front of the trembling servant and brought her hands to his. “Cullen please. Unless my memory betrays me, I think this IS my father.”

The room fell completely silent. 

“Are you certain.” Cullen lowered his sword as his troops gasped and began to whisper. He paused for a moment looking into her pleading eyes as she nodded slowly. “Leave us.” As the room emptied he returned his sword to its sheath and knelt beside her. She brought a hand to the elf’s face to encourage him to look at her. The same piercing green eyes were looking back into hers, filled with tears. 

“It’s true is it not?” She continued to stare at him as he struggled to respond. She still held tightly onto one of his hands, shaking uncontrollably “I know your face.”

His expression softened from terror and confusion to a look of clarity. Then he finally he spoke. 

“You look just as your mother did the last time I saw her.” As he explored her face with a little smile Ori’s mind started to fill with questions. Where had he been? Why was he here? How did he survive? Had her adopted family lied to her? She had little recollection of the night she thought she’d lost both her parents but her adopted father had been certain about what he’d seen. Of all the things she wanted to say, to ask, only one word escaped her lips. 

“Hello.”

**********

Dorian paced the corridor outside the small room. For once his curiosity wasn’t due to his incessant need to be in the loop or his hunger for gossip. He felt sick. If what he had overheard was true then he knew he had to be there for her. He froze as Maxwell returned from the ballroom. “Thank the Maker, something has happened, Oriarna’s father…”

“I know Dorian. We were trying to avoid this.” 

“Don’t be absurd, how could this have possibly be avoided! No one could have known he…” Dorian’s words trailed off as the realisation that Maxwell did in fact know dawned on him. “Maxwell, how could you?”

“This is not the time Dorian. Inquisitor, we must speak with the Commander and Oriarna.” Leliana’s approach was well timed from Dorian’s point of view, he was absolutely horrified as he excused himself and headed towards a servant with a full tray of drinks. “I warned you this could happen Inquisitor.”

Maxwell rubbed his face in agitation. “Yes, I know.”


	12. Long ago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out just what happened.

Deylan lived with his wife Niselle and his young daughter Oriarna amongst the elves of the alienage in Denerin. A humble existence, his life revolved around his family. Working tirelessly day after day with his wife for the local Lord and Lady Kirby. It was demanding, but hard work had its own rewards and they lived a peaceful life filled with love and happiness. He protected and provided as best he could for his wife and daughter who meant the whole world to him. 

Niselle was one of a threesome of cooks, spending much of her day in the kitchens of the house preparing feasts for dozens of hungry mouths. They had no other family, and were fortunate enough that their young daughter was able to accompany them to work most days with her father as he tended to the gardens along with the stables and it’s inhabitants. The child was fascinated by the large beasts that dwarfed her tiny body, seemingly unaffected by the potential danger, although she had always seemed to have a calming effect on the animals. 

The day had been no different to any other. All three had left their home at dawn together. Niselle had made her way to the kitchens offering her husband and daughter a parting kiss before Deylan walked hand in hand with his daughter to the stables. There was more to do than usual due to some repairs that were required to the door. Oriarna helped as best as she could, gathering a rather pitiful offering of hey for each of the horses again and again, stroking their noses as she worked. “Good horsies” and “eats your breakfast horsies” her mantra as she trotted back and forth. It warmed his heart to see her happy, something so simple as being involved, helping, wanting to do good. She resembled her mother in so many ways. When she was born her hair had been as the sun, bright and golden like her father, it was only in the last year that her hair began to darken like Niselle’s and the ebony tendrils developed. She kept some of the blonde but in sparse sun kissed highlights that glistened when the light hit it just so. Her bold green eyes were also her father’s and shone like precious stones. “Horsies full now dada” she informed as she came and sat on the floor beside him as he worked. 

“Good girl. Now go wash your hands pumpkin.” Oriarna jumped up and skipped away humming to herself. His quiet appreciation for her was interrupted by a messenger from the house. 

“The lord and lady of the house are having a little gathering this evening, you and your wife will both be required to work until late Deylan”. 

“I see, very well. May I be excused briefly this afternoon, I will need to take my daughter to a friends house.” 

“I’ll have to check with the master but that should be fine.” He quickly hurried away and Deylan downed tools and went to find his daughter. 

**********

“But I want to stay with you.” The well of tears in her eyes made his heart sink. He hated to leave her knowing she was upset. It was late in the afternoon and he had to get back to house as quickly as possible to conclude his gardening duties and get changed for table service. He couldn’t afford to lose time consoling her despite her pleas. 

“You’ll be fine pumpkin. Nell has looked after you many times before.” He smiled at the family friend as he grudgingly handed his treasure over to her. “I really appreciate this.”

“She’s no trouble, she can keep Muffin company. Give Nis my love. If it gets too late I’ll put her to bed and you can get her in the morning.” Nell had been a friend of the family for years but Deylan wasn’t happy at how frequently they’d come to rely on her to watch Oriarna whilst they worked late into the evening. She was old now, not as able bodied as she once was and he knew his daughter could be a handful. 

“Thank you so much, bye pumpkin. Be good!”

“I will dada”

Nell placed her on the ground and she toddled off to find the cat she remembered lived in this home. Deylan left feeling pleased she hadn’t screamed the place down as she had done many times before. 

He hurried from the alienage back towards the house. The time he had left was barely enough for him to finish his jobs before his evening work began. Had it really come to this, working day and night at the mercy of a pompous old git and his loathsome wife. His purposeful march soon turned into a frantic sprint. 

**********

Niselle straightened her husbands collar and tidied his blond hair before rushing back to the kitchen for his jacket. They could hear the celebrations commencing above them. Parties rarely lasted long and were not very well planned around here so they were both optimistic that they would be excused in time to collect Oriarna. 

Deylan spent the evening making sure everyone was well supplied with drinks and being told to smile. Niselle and her equivalents spent the evening dashing in and out of the kitchen, feeding the group of noxious nobles. As the night progressed and the crowd grew more intoxicated Deylan felt his placid facade slipping. He wanted more than this for his family, he didn’t want to have to watch his wife being ogled and leered at by vulgar noblemen. All he’d ever wanted to do was provide a safe and happy life for his wife and daughter, but there was little choice for his kind. 

His jug was soon empty again. He headed towards the cellar but was distracted by the ear piercing screams of his wife. “Niselle!” He shouted as he dropped the jug and raced to the kitchen. 

“You bit me!” *crack* the sound of his hand connecting with Niselle’s face echoed round the kitchen. Deylan rushed over to where the nobleman stood gripping his wife, finding strength in his anger he grabbed her attacker and threw him across the kitchen as if he weighed nothing sending him toppling into piles of pots and pans. “Have you lost your mind?” The man cried as he held his bruised head in pain. “That knife ear fucking bit me!”

“She is my wife!” He roared in response “are you alright my darling.” He held his trembling wife for only a few seconds before he was prized away by the mob. Alerted by the disturbance, the kitchen was now full of angry drunken eyes. 

“What is the meaning of this?” Lord Kirby stood close, his ale soaked breath was foul and made Deylan nauseous. “Did you do this?” Deylan nodded slowly, hanging his head in shame. He knew his actions had crossed a line, absolutely crossed a line. He’d be lucky to even be able to get work after this let alone keep his position at this house. The injured nobleman stumbled across the room clutching his bleeding jaw. 

“She fucking bit me! Took a chunk right out of my face!”

“Is this true?” Kirby now looked to Niselle for answers. She nodded slowly, a soft whimper escaping her lips. “Explain.”

“He…put his hands on me sir.” 

Lord Kirby turned to his angry friend with a smirk “Is this true?” Deylan noticed the ever so slightly mocking tone to his voice.

“You know what I’m like my dear fellow, I just thought I might steal a few minutes, you always say that we should make ourselves at home. This little bastard had other ideas.”

Deylan had heard enough and launched himself towards the man but was beaten to the punch. Niselle grabbed an empty pan by its handle and before anyone had time to act, connected with the mans face with brutal accuracy sending him crashing back across the room. The kitchen fell eerily silent before the injured man regained his composure and got to his feet. “That…will be the last mistake you ever make knife ear.” 

**********

Their escape from the house had been nothing short of providence, Lady Kirby had stumbled down the stairs, top to bottom, upon making a late entrance to the kitchen and Deylan had seized the opportunity to take his wife’s arm and run. Their pace was urgent, neither spoke as they hurried towards home. 

“I’ll go to the house and gather some things, you go and get Oriarna. I’ll meet you at Nell’s.”

“Wait, Deylan what are you saying?”

“We have to leave. We have to get as far away from here as possible.” He noticed the fear in her face and took her hands in his. “Nis, we must. We won’t be safe here.” He brought her closer and placed a tender kiss on her forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She whispered as she watched him dash away towards their house. 

**********

“Nell?” *bang bang bang* “Nell! Open the door!” 

The door opened abruptly “Nis? It’s so late, what are you doing here? Come in. Where’s Deylan?”

She rushed through the door slamming it behind her. “It’s a long story, I need to take Oriarna. We’re leaving.”

“Leaving? Nis what’s going on? The little one is asleep.” 

Niselle ignored her friend and ran to the bedroom where her tiny daughter lay sleeping. She hated the idea of disturbing her while she looked so cosy and comfortable, Muffin the cat snuggling with her as she dreamt. “Oriarna?” She whispered softly, leaning towards her daughter. “Oriarna, pumpkin, its time to wake up baby girl.” The child slowly opened her eyes and smiled at her mother, after all she hadn’t seen her since early that morning.

“Is it morning already mama?” 

Niselle fought back her tears. She felt so guilty. Her actions meant the end of life as they knew it. Their poor innocent daughter had to be taken from her home and her friends in the dead of night because of her. “No baby, it’s not morning yet.” She managed to utter amongst her quiet sobbing. “Let’s get you dressed. We’re going on an adventure.”

“Can Nell and Muffin come too?”

“No baby, it’s just you, me and dada.”

An abrupt knock at the door startled her and she jumped to her feet, urging Nell to remain quiet whilst she checked who was there. She crept towards the door, the aged floorboards betrayed her feet as they creaked beneath her footsteps. Another knock almost sent her backwards with terror. 

“Niselle, Nell, it’s me.” Came the whisper from outside. She readily opened the door and he darted inside quickly closing the door behind him. “There’s nobody around, I suggest we leave right away.” 

**********

Their departure from the city was quiet and swift. Niselle held her daughter whilst Deylan ran beside her with all he could carry from the house. They moved as quickly as they could, only slowing their pace when the the city was a distant glow. 

“Where are we going Deylan?” Niselle whispered hoping she wouldn’t wake the sleeping child she carried. For the moment they were heading west, but to her knowledge there was little other than wilderness between Denerim and Lothering. It would take them days to reach civilisation. She was frightened for her daughter, she was frightened for them all. 

“I don’t know Nis. We just need…to keep going…just a few…miles further…from the city…and we’ll rest.” He was struggling with his load, speaking between ragged breaths. They weren’t running any longer but there was still urgency in their steps. 

With only the moon to light the way the pressed on. Finally after what felt like hours Deylan heard the sound of running water. “I think it’s the Drakon River. Come, we can follow it all the way to Lothering.”

“Deylan you need to rest. We need to rest.” He knew she was right. The sound of the river drew closer until the family reached a small clearing beside the racing water. He set their belongings down and dropped to the floor groaning loudly as the arm pain he’d been ignoring revealed itself with alarming ferocity. Niselle still held her daughter as she cleared the ground with her feet, sweeping the leaves and twigs aside before settling down on the ground. “Here, take Oriarna whilst I make a fire.”

“I’ll do that, get some rest.”

“Please Deylan, this is my fault.” She did her best to sound authoritative whilst remaining as quiet as possible so as not to wake her daughter. “Please let me do this, you need to rest too.” Her eyes pleaded with him. “I’ll go get some firewood, I won’t be long.” 

He sighed loudly and tried to shake some blood back into his tired limbs. “Give her to me.” He took the tiny child from her and settled down with her on his lap. He was amazed she hadn’t woken up at any point “don’t go too far.” 

“I won’t.” Came the response as she disappeared into the darkness. 

Deylan gazed down at Oriarna, tentatively brushing a few stray curls from her face and caressing her cheek softly. He smiled to himself despite the enormous sense of sadness he felt. She had no idea what was happening, blissfully unaware of the situation they were in. That was why he smiled. The panic, the fear, none of it had touched her. Unexpected movement nearby brought him back to himself. He squinted in the darkness. “Nis?” A low bloodcurdling growl from close by sent a shiver down his spine. He sprang to his feet, no longer concerned about his daughters slumber. “Niselle!” he shouted in despair. Oriarna woke with a startle and clung to her father. He brought a finger to his mouth indicating for her to stay quiet and she did as she was asked. He still couldn’t see the intruder in the darkness and looked around desperately for something to defend himself with. He’d had no use for weapons, he had nothing to hand. The growl came again, louder than before, closer, perhaps more than one growl, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t see, he could barely hear with the river racing beside him. Oriarna’s fingers gripped his clothing tightly and he knew she was frightened, he was terrified. He looked to the water and saw an opportunity. “Hold on baby girl.” Without a second thought he began to wade across the rushing water. The snarling and barking from behind him pushed him forward until he heard the frantic cries of Niselle. He spun around quickly to see his wife battling the wolf with everything she had, swinging the piece of wood she had obtained with savage determination. Remarkably, she somehow managed to still her foe, bringing her weapon down on the beast’s head with a crushing blow. Just as he thought to return to dry land, another wolf, then another. “Niselle!” He cried as he stood powerless in the cold water. 

Chest heaving and eyes filled with tears she looked towards him. “Go! Keep her safe! I love you!” She shouted as the wolves pounced on her. Deylan turned quickly, holding Oriarna’s face to his chest to shield her from the waking nightmare. He fought to stay upright with every step he took as the water grew deeper and more fierce. He held Oriarna above his head, trying to keep her as dry as he could as his body was submerged almost to his neck. Finally he was beneath the chance boulder only just visible from the shore. He carefully pushed her up onto the cold island and she cried with the sudden loss of contact. 

“Shush baby, it’ll be alright.” But she screamed, her outstretched arms reaching to him as he fought to hold onto the slimy rock. He chanced a look back towards the shore, the bloodied remains of his wife only just visible in the darkness. “Lie down baby girl, close your eyes tight!” He shouted. She curled up and closed her eyes, his heart ached as he listened to her sobbing. He had to get up onto that rock. He stole few valuable seconds to catch his breath and threw himself upwards, frantically grasping and clawing at the boulder but was unable to hold onto its slippery surface, injuring his head as he dropped clumsily back into the water. It was useless, he was too exhausted. He roared with frustration and clung on tightly as the river continued to issue its punishment to his failing limbs. 

He closed his eyes and prayed ‘Save her, please. Not like this. Save her.’ The sound of clomping hooves alerted him to a presence at the riverside. In the darkness he saw a man, a human and his horse who had stumbled upon the chilling scene in the clearing. “You there!” He cried, hoping he would be heard over the raging rapids. The man looked horrified by the scene but seemed to hear him and turned to the water. He had only seconds to act as what remained of his strength threatened to leave him. He pointed up towards his precious Oriarna “Please……I beg you. Help her…….” 

**********

“You look better today, got some colour back in your cheeks.”

Deylan pushed himself upright carefully. He hadn’t fully recovered in the few weeks that had passed but he felt a little better every day. As his rescuers kept reminding him, it was a miracle that he had survived. He’d been found by the river a few miles outside of Lothering by a merchant and his wife traveling back from Gwaren. The couple had been kind enough to help him, taking his battered body back to their home in the village and nursing him back to health. It had taken him 4 days to regain consciousness and a further 2 days to regain his senses. He’d woken up in a strange place, with strange humans, having lost his beloved wife and had no idea what had become of his daughter. Despite his pleas to leave after waking, they had insisted he needed time to recover, he’d been through a terrible ordeal and was barely clinging to life when they found him.

“I feel better with each day that passes.” He carefully got to his feet and steadied himself. “I cannot find the words to express my gratitude. I am forever in your debt.”

“You’re most welcome my friend. Do you think you are well enough to travel? We’re heading east. We could offer you a ride. You said you weren’t far from Denerim when the…when you…” the man struggled to find the right words.

“It’s alright, yes we were a couple of hours from the city. And yes, I would very much appreciate it if I could travel with you.”

“It’s quite a distance. Ready yourself, we leave at dawn.”

**********

They were as good as their word and awoke early to depart for Denerim. Deylan had hardly slept and didn’t feel completely himself but knew he couldn’t waste this opportunity to get closer to where he’d lost his family. 

After days of travel he found himself on familiar ground and after thanking his saviours again they parted ways. He walked along the Drakon River alone until he found himself at the spot where all his worst fears had come to pass. He stood in the clearing, afraid to inspect the scene. His wife’s body was gone along with most of the families belongings. Stolen, scavenged or damaged beyond recognition. With tears in his eyes he looked to the river and saw the boulder that had been his salvation. So far from dry land that he inhaled sharply as the realisation of what he’d accomplished that night dawned on him. *She could never have made it to dry land alone. What of the man in the darkness*. He stood trying to recall that night. *The man had nothing but a horse and the clothes on his back, he couldn’t be a merchant or traveller. He must live close by.*

Deylan headed inland, walking for only a few minutes when he happened upon a boundary, a wall, people built walls. He ran until he came to a way through and hurdled the fence. As he began to quicken his steps he could hear the faint noises of children laughing and playing and his pace slowed. The grass was long, with scattered elfroot and embrium stems, it offered him some cover as he hunched over and made his quiet approach. He had no idea who these people were, if they were friendly, if his Oriarna was even here, he crept quietly through the grass until he reached another boundary closer to what looked like a farm and crouched behind the wall. 

“Children! Supper’s ready!” He heard a woman shout out, and he watched as the three young boys and girl ran from the stables to the farmhouse excitedly. He felt his heart sinking, his daughter wasn’t amongst them. “Where’s your father?” She asked one of the boys. He pointed back towards the direction they had all ran from and scuttled past his mother into the house. “Edward! supper!” 

“Coming!” Came the response from inside the stables. Deylan held his breath as he peered over the wall and waited for the man to emerge, hoping it would be the very same man he had seen in the darkness that night. His hands clenched around the cold stone as he saw the most beautiful, wondrous sight imaginable. His little Oriarna, skipping from the stables, chirping and giggling as she turned around and poked her tongue out at the yet to be seen man. Then he was there. Deylan gasped as he emerged from the building and headed towards Oriarna. She screamed playfully as the man ran towards her, scooping her into his arms and spinning her in the air. 

“Faster faster!” She squealed as he whirled her around above his head. Deylan moved to stand but hesitated when the rest of the family exited the house to join the pair outside. The man placed her on the ground and she immediately toppled over with dizziness. “Uh Oh!” She continued to giggle as the tallest of the boys brought her to her feet and then picked her up to carry her inside followed by the rest of the children. 

“She seems much better today”. He heard the women saying. “She’s talking more.” 

“Yes. She bloody loves those horses. Has hardly left Crystal’s side all day again. She doesn’t seem to remember much about it all.” The man responded, bringing her into his arms for an embrace. “You know, today, she called me papa. I think it was an accident, probably heard one of the others calling me it, but…still.” Deylan could see the joy in his face, hear the pride in his tone. He sank to the ground and turned to sit leaning on the hard stone. With his head in his hands he wept. He wept for longer than he had ever wept before as he listened to the couple. 

“She seems happy Edward. Our little Ori.”

“We can give her a good life Florence. The boys love her as does Clara. When she is older I will explain what happened, take her to where I buried her mother, tell her about her brave father.” Deylan stayed where he was as the voices grew fainter on entering the home. She was alive. His lovely, precious Oriarna was alive, but he didn’t move, glued to the cold earth by a dreadful awakening. She was alive. She was safe. *They could give her a good life.* What had he to offer her. What life could he provide for her. A motherless elf with a penniless, jobless father on the run from nobility would stand little chance of a good life. That was no life for a child, that was no life for his Oriarna. He punched the ground with anguish as the sickening prospect of leaving her exactly where she was became more appealing by the second. His desire to be reunited with her was strong but he also recalled his dream for her. To grow up happy, to want for nothing, to be content and safe with a ‘proper’ family. He could mourn his wife, but to claim her back and put her in harms way, to mourn her, would mean the destruction of his very soul. He sat through the night, listening to the sounds of joy emanating from the home before quietly making his heartbreaking departure at sunrise.


	13. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are some things you face head on, others you run from.

Cullen rubbed his face as he left the room to the hallway where Leliana stood with the Inquisitor. He felt rattled and struggled to get his bearings as he dragged his exhausted body down the corridor. None of this made any sense to him. His poor, sweet Ori had received a monumental shock, passed out in his arms, and was now talking to a ghost. He was utterly bewildered. Of all the scenarios he had played out in his mind this was completely unforeseen. The empress was safe, they should be enjoying the remainder of the evening together free from incident. He reached the pair in the corridor. 

“Is she alright Cullen?” Maxwell asked, offering his friend a pat on the arm. Cullen was angry but hid it well. He struggled to understand how something like this could’ve happened. Leliana knew everything, she had extensive lists and notes detailing the guests and staff, this shouldn’t have happened.

“She is……they’re……talking.” He paused for a moment, his gaze fixed on the door to the room he’d just exited. “How could this happen?”

“We were trying to avoid this Commander” Leliana replied. “I urged you not to bring her. I pleaded for her not to come.”

Cullen frowned in reply. “You knew didn’t you?” He turned to Leliana with clenched teeth. 

“Of course I knew Commander.” She spat angrily at him. “I know everything! Just as I know you killed a recruit in her honour, just as I know that you and Iron Bull concealed his death.” She folded her arms in front of her. “Just as I know you fought over her friendship with Solas and wrote to her before you left for Adamant confessing your love.” She sighed heavily “and I also knew that if either of you were made aware of her father’s presence here our agenda would have been compromised.” Her harsh facade had softened. “Cullen, I didn’t want this to happen. Although I find it difficult to admit, I like Oriarna. She brings out the best in you…and the worst.” 

Cullen narrowed his eyes at her but couldn’t argue. She did bring out the good and bad, the calm and excitable, the gentle and the violent. The group stood in silence a few moments, Cullen’s mind was racing. The evening had gone somewhat accordingly until this point. All he wanted to do was escape with her, take away her anguish. He wished he’d never brought her, he wished he’d had the strength to leave her at Skyhold where her beautiful smiling face would have waited to greet him on his return. This was going to change everything, change her, perhaps change ‘them’. “What now?”

**********

They sat opposite one another on the floor in the dimly lit room. She watched him, his eyes on the ground, his mind obviously searching for words, the right words. The animated muffled voices of Leliana and Cullen in the corridor accompanied by more distant sounds of partying seemed irrelevant in this moment. Still there was silence between them. 

Deylan took a breath and finally looked into his daughters eyes. “I never meant for this Oriarna.” He pinched the bridge of his nose as tears began to roll down his cheeks. “You weren’t supposed to see me, you weren’t supposed to be here.”

“Why? Why wasn’t I? I don’t understand!” Her lip began to quiver as she fought with her own tears. “My father…no Edward…no, papa told me what happened, he saw you succumb to the river, he saw you die!” She couldn’t help her confusion turning to anger, her initial wonderment had been replaced by disorientation and resentment. 

“He did indeed see me succumb to the river, but somehow I survived, and I came back to you but….” He took her hand cautiously, hoping she wouldn’t pull away from him. She gently squeezed in response but her eyes never left his. She looked full of sorrow and doubt as he returned her gaze. He felt like his heart was breaking all over again. “It was weeks afterwards. You……you were so happy. I had nothing, I couldn’t take you.”

“I had nothing either, but we had each other!” She jumped to her feet and began to pace, it never made her feel any better but it was her natural response to stressful situations. “You left me! You were everything to me! I was alone and you left me. For twenty years, you left me!” 

“Not a day has passed where I haven’t thought about you. I lost everything that night. I think I even lost myself that night.”

“You didn’t lose me! You left me!” 

“I did leave you! To a better life, with people who could give you more than I ever could! I was nothing without your mother! You were all I thought about whilst I was recovering, but when I saw you…” he sigh heavily, his hands trembled as he rubbed his face with shame. “When I saw you with that man and his family I knew you’d be better off without me.”

“You were…there? You saw me?” He hung his head, he hadn’t lost her twenty years ago, not really. Now. Now he was losing her, and just as that night all those years ago he was powerless to stop it. “You knew where I was all these years and still you left me?”

“Oriarna, I’m sorry.”

She ceased her pacing and stood a moment. Everything about the situation made her feel uncomfortable, everything from the betrayal of her estranged father to the ill fitting dress she was still wearing. Normally she would overthink a situation, second guess herself, question everything her instincts told her. For some reason she did none of that this time as she headed towards the door. “So am I”.

**********

They were still arguing amongst themselves, Cullen was surprised to see Oriarna emerge from the room so soon. She looked emotionless, neither happy or sad, maybe a little tired. She smoothed her hair, straightened her dress and stood tall before calmly approaching the three. He wanted so desperately to hold her as he’d longed to do all evening. She looked so beautiful to him even in her fragile state. There were still many guests at the palace, including many judging eyes, whatever his heart desired had to wait whilst the Inquisition remained on official business. 

She curtsied as she reached group. “How my I be of assistance your worship?” She directed her question at Maxwell and smiled politely as if nothing had happened. All three looked more than a little shocked by her laid back attitude although she noted Leliana’s cold scowl as she looked at her. Cullen immediately took her by the arm gently and led her away to a quiet corner.

“Ori are you feeling alright? What’s going on?” He leant close to her, she could see the confusion and concern written all over his face. “There is really no need for you to resume work this evening. Take some time with your father my love.” She released her arm from his grip casually.

“That man is not my father Commander.” Her callous tone sent a cold shiver through him and he almost found himself stepping away from her. She seemed empty, her eyes, usually so bright and full of passion were dark and unfeeling, he hadn’t seen this side of her before, even when she was angry with him regarding his behaviour before Adamant. She hadn’t referred to him as Commander outside of the bedroom in a while, at least not whilst they were alone. He thought he might cry as she seemed to look right through him. “Once I am certain that the Inquisitor has no further use for me I will wait with the carriage until our departure. Good evening Commander.” 

She marched past him and back towards a puzzled Inquisitor and his spymaster and all he could do was stare. 

“Apologies Inquisitor. How may I be of assistance?” 

“Nothing right now Oriarna. The evening is yours.”

“Thank you Inquisitor. Leliana.” She curtsied a final time and excused herself heading straight for the front door. 

**********

Oriarna sat herself down outside the palace and took a deep breath, and another. The evening breeze was mild and tasted delicious after hours of inhaling the foul perfumes and colognes that clung to the air in the ballroom. The peace and quiet in the courtyard was equally satisfying as she sat alone. She sat and watched as the carriages appeared again and again, drunken nobles staggering awkwardly to the gates and departing one after the other. She had no idea how long she’d been there when she was aware of someone approaching. 

She looked up at him and forced a smile before indicating to the spot next her and he ready accepted the invitation to sit by her side. She tucked her arm beneath his and snuggled into him, resting her head on his shoulder and curling both hands around his hand. They sat together a moment in silence holding onto one another. To Oriarna the night had felt like a surreal dream or like it had been happening to someone else. She longed to get away, to get back to familiar sights and sounds. 

“Dorian…?” She whispered 

“Yes Ori?”

She crumbled straight away and sobbed into his shoulder as her grip on his hand became almost painful. He prized his fingers out of her solid grip and brought his arm around her turning her towards him and firmly embracing her. She cried into him as he held onto her lovingly. “All these years.” She managed between her whimpers. “All I ever wanted was to thank him for saving my life.” She could hardly speak and coughed as her breathing faltered. “I don’t know how to feel Dorian, I’m just so… disappointed.” She broke his embrace and looked at him expecting to see his usual cheeky smile but found him to be sharing her sadness as tears shamelessly flooded his own eyes. “Are you alright Dorian?”

He laughed at her unusual question and wiped his eyes. “Am I alright? Oriarna my dearest, why of all things are you asking me if I’m alright?”

“I uhm, I’ve never seen you cry before.” 

“Ah yes, well, you are now amongst the lucky few who have seen me this way.” He pinched her cheek affectionately and smiled as her face screwed in response. “Oriarna, I don’t think I ever told you about my father.” She looked up at him with intrigue, his sweet smile from seconds ago had vanished. He hadn’t ever mentioned his family to her, in fact thinking back to all their time spent together Dorian had rarely had a serious conversation about anything to do with his past with her. 

“No you haven’t.” She allowed herself a slight smirk. “In fact for a man who spends so much time talking about himself you have told me remarkably little about your past.”

“Well that’s because it’s an unpleasant subject for me. I spent years resenting my family. My father had made it very known that he disapproved of my choices, in particular my preference for the company of men. The Inquisitor received a letter from him, before you arrived at Skyhold, asking him to deliver me to Redcliffe to meet one of our families associates. Naturally I assumed I’d be hit over the head and dragged back to Tervinter… but I was wrong. We arrived at the Gull and Lantern and there he was. For years I had hated him but here he was in person, asking for my forgiveness. With Maxwell’s encouragement we talked.”

“What had he done to you?” 

“He tried to change me…out of sheer desperation no doubt.” Ori placed her hand on his knee, noticing the struggle in his voice. “I wouldn’t put on a show, marry the girl. Selfish I suppose, not to want to spend your entire life screaming on the inside.”

“I’m sure he regretted treating you that way.” 

“He was going to do a blood ritual! Alter my mind…make me……acceptable! So I left. I don’t know if it would have worked, part of me likes to think he never would have gone through with it. I don’t know if I can ever forgive him for what he did but it helped me to speak with him.” It was the most honest he’d ever been with her, she felt humbled and privileged.

“Why are you telling me all this now Dorian?”

“Cullen is worried about you. He said that you rejected the chance to speak to your father.” He felt like somewhat of a hypocrite, he probably wouldn’t have gone to Redcliffe if he’d known from the start that he would have come face to face with his father. If it wasn’t for Maxwell’s intervention he could quite easily have turned on his heals and walked away never to speak to him again. 

“I have my reasons Dorian.”

“But don’t you at least want to hear what he has to say? Opportunities like this are too few Ori. He is your father after all.” 

Almost as abruptly as she’d fallen apart in his arms she switched. “It’s not the same Dorian. Your father was awful to you!” She surprised even herself with the volume at which she’d shouted and told herself to calm down. “Your father was awful to you, but he was still your father. That man was my father for almost five years! Then he chose to leave! I have a father, his name is Edward Hibbert, I have a mother, her name Florence Hibbert. That man is a stranger to me Dorian. I see nothing of the man I once knew in him. I need to leave this place. I want to go home.”

Dorian knew it was pointless to argue, he knew better than anyone that feelings of betrayal and disappointment if left to fester could consume a person, but spending most of your life believing that the two most important people in your life had perished to save you, only to discover that one of them had survived only to reject you must be heartbreaking, no matter what the intentions or reason. “I’m sure we’ll be departing for Skyhold soon Ori.”

“No Dorian.…I want to go home.” 

***********

It was late when everyone arrived back at camp. Cullen had shared a carriage with the Inquisitor and Leliana just as he had on their journey to the Winter Palace. As the horses came to a stop Cullen readied himself to speak to Oriarna. She had surprised him that evening. He hadn’t expected her to be so composed in light of what had happened, neither had he expected her so distant. His eagerness to be with her had been halted by his obligations at the palace but there was nothing between them now the evening was over. He liked to imagine that her cold demeanour was due to shock but still he was nervous at the thought of seeing her. He exited the carriage and headed for her, desperate to hold her, kiss her, to show her how much her absence at his side had affected him. 

Josephine, Cassandra then Vala. “Which carriage is Oriarna riding in Cassandra?” Cassandra pointed before dashing off sheepishly and he quickly rushed towards another. Then another. Then to the last where he saw a fatigued and despondent Dorian emerging. “Dorian, I can’t find Oriarna.” The puffed crimson cushions around his eyes told Cullen he’d been crying and Dorian seemed to cower in his presence as he handed him the letter. 

“I’m sorry my friend. I truly am.” He scuttled away, eager to avoid the many questions whirling around in Cullen’s mind. He pocketed the envelope and returned to Maxwell as he talked with Josephine, Leliana and the newest member of the Inquisition Morrigan. He knew he couldn’t retreat to his tent immediately but the letter in his pocket was all he could think about as he stood amongst the group. He looked around camp, hopeful that he’d simply lost sight of her as she’d exited her carriage but he couldn’t see her. Camp was bustling and noisy after news of the evenings successes had spread amongst the soldiers. Everyone seemed elated that the evening had gone so well as sounds of revelry and celebration filled the camp. 

“Commander?”

Cullen focused his mind back to his associates. “Yes?”

“Commander, please take your leave. I think we are all in need of some rest.” Leliana spoke for everyone as she addressed him. Cullen felt like a blind man in a well lit room, the only person in the dark as he offered a shallow bow to the group and headed for the seclusion of his tent.

He entered the achingly barren tent and took the letter from his pocket and opened it. He could feel his legs giving way and seated himself on a stool. He was almost afraid to read as his eyes were drawn to the signature ‘all my love, Ori’.

My dearest Cullen,

Firstly I need you to know that you are my whole world and I love you more than I thought I could ever love someone. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t say goodbye to you in person. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to leave.

You have changed me. I am a stronger woman because of you and your love for me, because of your faith in me, because of your faith in us, and until tonight I thought I had everything I wanted. 

I want to see my family. I have to see them. I’ve never needed them more than I need them now. Please understand, I know you and I know you will understand. 

This isn’t goodbye my darling. That I promise you. 

all my love, Ori 

Cullen sat staring at the parchment in shock. She was gone. Even if it wasn’t goodbye, she was gone. How long would he have to wait to hold her again. His mind fell to darkness as he held the letter tightly. She had left everything behind including him. He saw her everywhere as he looked around the tent they had shared for the past week. Her boots sat on the ground next to a partially repaired sock, her winter cape lay draped over a stool in the corner. He reached into the bag that held her other belongings and happened upon her headscarf. Taking it and holding it to his face, he inhaled deeply, her sweet scent only reminded him of his sadness and loss. Leliana entered his tent and stood quietly waiting to be acknowledged as he clung to all he had left of her. She cleared her throat quietly and waited patiently. Despite the lanterns burning the room felt gloomy. He knew she was there, he knew that if he had questions she would be the person to provide the answers. 

“Did you know of her intention to leave Leliana?”

“Josie and I arranged for a horse and escort, he’ll take her as far as the farm and continue to Denerim.” She stepped towards him. She had expected him to be saddened by Oriarna’s departure but the Cullen she knew had been through much in his life and always found a way to draw strength from his pain. He was different. More than just heartbroken. “She will be back. She will be safe Commander.”

“She didn’t even say goodbye. I wasn’t able to hold her.”

“Cullen, it wasn’t easy for her to go. She pleaded with us both to let her leave quietly, without fuss.”

He felt sick. He hadn’t suffered a headache for weeks but squeezed his eyes shut as the pounding began in his temple. With her he’d found something so special and had almost forgotten what it felt like to be miserable. “May I have some privacy please Leliana?” 

“Of course, I just thought you should know that it wasn’t an easy decision for any of us.”

He could only hum in response and couldn’t bring himself to look at her as she exited his tent. He had never felt so alone. He had traveled with the Inquisition countless times over the past months, usually appreciating the quiet solitude his tent offered at the close of an eventful day. Not tonight. He methodically removed his formalwear, folding into a neat pile and climbed beneath his blankets, for the first time in a long time he feared his dreams as sleep slowly claimed him. 

**********

The camp was quite when he awoke following his nightmare. He pulled some clothing from his bag and dressed himself, he had a craving fresh air now that everyone had retired for the evening. Cullen grabbed Oriarna’s head scarf and tied it around his neck before leaving his tent, keen to keep her sweet familiar scent close. Everyone was asleep, the only signs of life a few guards patrolling the camp. He spotted a lonely figure sat beside one of the camps many fires. 

Maxwell sat alone with a well earned drink by the crackling fire, so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t immediately notice Cullen’s approach. He raised his cup in acknowledgment as the Commander made his way towards him. Cullen thought that he looked dreadful, perhaps the mark was causing him pain, or perhaps he had been injured during the events at the palace and kept it quiet. 

“Drink?” Maxwell poured Cullen a cup and offered it to him with a slight smirk. “It doesn’t compare to what we were drinking earlier but it’s good enough.”

“Thank you Your Worship.” Cullen seated himself beside Maxwell by the fire and tentatively sipped his drink. 

“Please Cullen, I would very much prefer that you call me by my name.”

“Apologies Maxwell.”

“Sir Trevelyan!” Maxwell nudged him playfully as a muted chuckle escaped them both. 

“No Dorian?”

“He’s angry with me for allowing her to leave, like I had any say in the matter.” The mood changed instantly as both men reflected individually. “Cullen, I should’ve intervened sooner. I should never have let her accompany us to the Palace.” He tossed another log into the flames and both men sat in silence listening to the fire devouring the new feast. Maxwell didn’t have any words for him, he knew there was nothing he could say to help ease the pain. If it were Dorian who had left he’d be distraught. And of course he was going to miss her too. 

Finally after a few minutes Cullen found the courage to ask the question he’d been holding onto since the discovery of her departure. “Maxwell, I wondered if I might ask a favour.”


	14. Always with you too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home is where the heart is, unless your heart belongs to a handsome ex Templar 
> 
> Oriarna finds herself on very familiar ground but of course the Inquisition is not so easy to abandon, as is her true love.

Florence sat perched on a stool in front of the wooden washtub. She hated doing laundry. Even though her boys all had their own lives and her daughter spent much of her time in Denerim they still managed to find the time to pop home frequently with sacks of dirty items. All except her eldest boy Marcus who was still missing after events had taken him to Haven all those months ago. Her gallant, dutiful first born. He had always had always gravitated towards danger, even as a boy, always needed to be the bravest, the strongest. That’s what had driven him to the Templars in the first place. It did make her feel good to know her children still needed her, even if it was just so they had clean clothes to wear. Thankfully she was almost done, rinsing the final few shirts and squeezing any remaining moisture before tossing them into her basket ready to be hung out to dry. 

The sun was high in the sky with a pleasant breeze blowing from the east. Perfect for drying clothes. She smiled to herself and began to pin the garments to the washing line. Back in their younger days she and her husband would spend days like this picnicking by the river, adventuring on horseback. There was nothing that could remind you of how old and boring you’d become more than the strange excitement felt when waking up to a day such as this and thinking ‘great day for drying laundry’. 

Edward had been busy in the barn all morning, the occasional curse and swear breaking up the banging and clattering of tools as he repaired his plow. Now and then she could hear him yelling at the chickens as they pottered around, obviously getting in his way as he worked. 

She missed those days where the farm was full of noise. Those chaotic days when her children were younger, when laughter filled the air, interrupted every now and then by one of the girls screaming because of a spider or the boys crying because they’d hurt themselves playing. She had be seen her fair share of grazed elbows and battered knees through the years.

The sound of hooves drew her thoughts back to the present and she almost felt dizzy as she turned to see the approaching guest. She blinked several times in disbelief before dropping everything, gathering her skirt into her hand and racing towards the gates. 

Oriarna leapt from her horse and ran to meet her mother. They stopped in front of each other. Florence had tears in her eyes as she examined her daughter, reaching out to touch Oriarna’s face as if convinced she was dreaming. “I missed you ma….” She was forcefully pulled into a hug before she had time to finish her greeting. She held on until a voice interrupted the reunion. 

“Oriarna? Oriarna!” Edward came rushing from the barn and quickly jumped in on the hug and all three stood together holding onto one another. It was probably the longest hug in the history of hugs as both parents firmly clung to her.

“Are you hungry? Have you eaten?” Florence released her grip and looked her daughter up and down, making her feel a little awkward. “You look thin, let’s get you some food.” Oriarna chucked, why was it that mother’s always insisted on feeding their children constantly. She had to admit she had missed her mothers cooking. The food at Skyhold was good enough but always included at least one ingredient she’d never heard off and was almost always a little colder than she liked it. She didn’t want to disappoint her mother despite only having eaten a few hours earlier.

“I’m famished.” The broad, excited smile that poured across her mothers face made her feel wonderful and she was promptly led towards the house. 

**********

Oriarna sat down at the kitchen table and inhaled deeply, drinking in the heavenly aroma of her mothers food. The house, in fact the whole farm felt smaller and more cosy than it had before. She’d grown used to the vast fortress that housed the Inquisition but the sight of home reminded her that this place, however small it seemed to her now, was once the centre of her world, the fields and farmland seemed to go on forever, the modest farmhouse seemed like a palace, and her parents, they were everything.

“What would you like? There’s roast turnip stew, mushroom tart or perhaps something sweet? Gingerbread? Apple cake?” Her mother rushed around the kitchen gathering far too much food and laying out the feast for Oriarna. “I had no idea you were coming or I would have made your favourite honey cake. Perhaps I have the ingredients, I’ll make one, it’s still your favourite isn’t it?”

“Mama stop fussing, you don’t have to make me cakes, take a breath and sit down.” Oriarna pulled a stool from under the table for her mother and began to tuck in. A satisfied hum escaped her as she stuffed a whole mushroom tart into her mouth. “I missed these.” She mumbled, sending crumbs flying across the table which earned her a tut from her mother. “Sorry” she giggled “We don’t get mushrooms at Skyhold, not the right conditions for them to grow.” She quickly demolished another and wiped her hands. It was the first time in days she hadn’t felt down, the guilt was still there like a dull ache in her gut but she felt so much happier to be with family. Edward soon appeared from outside and kicked his boots off in the doorway. 

“There’s a basket of washing sat on the floor out there love, should I bring it inside?” He pulled out a stool beside Oriarna and eagerly helped himself to piece of gingerbread wiggling his eyebrows as he scoffed it down. 

“Like father, like daughter.” Florence joked as she rolled her eyes at the greedy pair. “I’ll take care of it, I’ll just be a few minutes.” She wiped her hands down and poured them both a drink. “Get stuck in, There’s plenty” and she hurried back outside. Edward watched closely as she marched away from the house. 

“Right, now your mother’s gone.” Oriarna looked at him coyly. She knew what was coming. They both had questions but she didn’t want to start, it seemed more appropriate to let her father have his turn first. “What are you doing here and perhaps more importantly, how did you get here Oriarna? Alone for makers sake!” 

“It’s… complicated.”

“You and the Commander are…”

“Fine papa. We’re fine.” 

“It’s not like you’ve just popped out for loaf of bread darling. I’m pleased that you’re here but you can’t blame me for being concerned.” He moved in closer and wrapped his hands around hers. She just about managed a smile before emotions betrayed her and the tears began to flow. 

She couldn’t even find the words to begin, her mind was racing with questions, overrun with rage and confusion. It took all of her resolve just to even look at him.

“Can I ask you something papa?”

“Anything.”

“After you helped me, after you saved me, you said you searched for answers in Denerim, what did you find?”

“Not a lot really. Nothing I haven’t already told you Oriarna. I found documents that led me to a small home in the alienage but there was nothing there of note. An elderly woman, what was her name… Nell! A woman named Nell saw me poking around and asked me my business. She told me that your parents worked for a Lord and Lady Kirby and I might find answers there. When I spoke with them they didn’t have anything positive or even remotely useful to tell me, they seemed more concerned about the fact their gardens were getting overgrown than anything else. There wasn’t anything more I could do.” He frowned and took a deep breath. “What’s this all about Oriarna?”

“He’s alive.” She just blurted it out. There was no emotion in her voice, her eyes were vacant, void of any feeling. “My father is alive.” 

“That’s…… wonderful Oriarna!” Edward threw himself towards her and hugged her tightly. She held onto him, not wanting him to let go of her, not wanting him to see her stone facade. She couldn’t help that she didn’t share his excitement and she didn’t want him to judge her or question her attitude. Finally he was able to free himself and look at her to see she clearly didn’t share his elation as she looked past him with a hollow stare. “It *is* wonderful isn’t it Oriarna?”

“I don’t know papa.” 

“Why? Surely this can only be a good thing.” She shook her head dismissively with a scornful smile. “Don’t worry about your mother and I Oriarna, we won’t be upset.” He didn’t understand her behaviour at all as she chuckled sarcastically. 

“He knew where I was papa. This whole time he knew I was here.” 

“But… but… why did he not come for you? That’s impossible, you must be confused.”

“I’m not confused. He told me himself. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel papa, I understand why he did it, I just can’t understand *how* he could do it.” She stared intently at him. “Could you abandon your children, with not so much as a goodbye?”

Edward returned her stare for a while before shaking his head as his gaze lowered and he took her hands again. 

“Exactly, how could he just leave me and forget me?”

“Well perhaps you should ask him Oriarna. You’ve been given a second chance, few are given such an opportunity.”

“You are right papa”. Oriarna chuckled softly. “Dorian said something similar, Cullen too.” She brought her hands to her face and rubbed her eyes and cheeks with a mixture of fatigue and agitation. “I’m so lost. The more I think about it the more I find myself agreeing with him.” She smiled lovingly at Edward “you and mama have given me a wonderful life, a better life than any elf I know.” 

“So, you need to have a proper conversation with him, tell him he was right, I’m sure not a day has passed where he hasn’t wondered if he made the right decision.”

Florence startled the pair as she skipped back through the door all of a sudden. There was an eerie atmosphere in the room as everyone stayed in an awkward silence. 

“Everything alright? You two look like you’ve seen a ghost!”

She wasn’t prepared for the barrage of questions she would undoubtedly receive from her mother, especially knowing her temperament differed so greatly from her father’s. That was why they had such a successful relationship, Her mothers tenacity and spirit was perfectly complimented by the calm and considered nature of her father. “May I go and lie down? I’m very tired.”

Edward brought his hand to her face, caressing her cheek with his rough calloused thumb “Course you may darling, you’re room is exactly the way you left it. I’ll explain what’s happened your mother.”

Florence looked between the two of them anxiously before accepting a kiss from her daughter as she headed to her room. She folded her arms in front of her and eyed her husband suspiciously. “Well?” Edward grinned and stuffed another large piece of gingerbread into his mouth. “Edward…?”

**********

Exactly how she left it, apart from the fresh bedding. She sat down on the corner her bed and kicked her shoes off, a satisfying feeling given that they weren’t hers. All the clothes she wore were borrowed from the inquisition before she left the Palace. There was no way she was going to travel all the way across Ferelden in that ridiculous dress. After shuffling towards her pillow she tucked herself into a ball and thought of Cullen and the last thing she’d said to him. It should have been I love you. He was all she had known for weeks, whenever there was time, wherever they found themselves, they were together. She missed him more than anything, she missed the feel of his strong arms around her, the slight graze of his stubble as he held her close, the way his presence made her feel absolutely safe and protected. And Dorian, her wonderfully eccentric, marvellous accomplice. He would be fine no doubt, but would definitely feel her absence as she would his. But Cullen, dear sweet Cullen. Was she being completely arrogant to think he’d be utterly broken in her absence? Was she being foolish to think he’d be longing to be with her as much as she longed to be with him. As she lay on her bed, in her room, in the home she’d grown up in, surrounded by all the material things she had ever held dear, she felt completely empty and alone. 

It was late afternoon when she finally resurfaced. Oriarna had spent hours tossing and turning on her bed before finally deciding to face her parents and the questions they undoubtedly had. 

She found them both to be sat in the kitchen, she wasn’t sure if they’d even moved whilst she’d been gone. Both looked at her sympathetically as she entered and seated herself at the table with them. 

“Can I get you anything Ori?” 

“No thank you mama.”

Edward left his seat and poured her some wine, plonking it down in front of her before pouring himself a generous portion. 

“I said I didn’t want anythi…”

“I heard you, you need not drink it if you don’t want to.” He reclaimed his seat and brought his hands to his face, resting his elbows on the table as he scratched his beard nervously. 

Florence could see both were hurting. Edward because he felt he had inadvertently robbed a man of his precious daughter, Oriarna because she was conflicted. The part of her that loved her parents and was grateful for all they’d done, battled with the part of her that ached to know her real father. But she had missed her daughter so much. The time for serious talk was later. “So, Ori. Tell me about this handsome Commander of yours.” 

**********

Oriarna had gone to bed feeling slightly better and woken up in high spirits. She had actually missed working whilst traveling with the Inquisition. There had been some jobs for her along the way but nowhere near the amount that was expected of her at Skyhold. She was eager to help her father with the farm and dressed herself with that in mind.

She scoffed her breakfast quickly paying no attention to her mothers protests and hurried out to the stables. Her father had dozens of horses, despite his generosity towards the Inquisition, there was sure to be plenty for her to do, and of course she had yet to say hello to an old friend. 

She was an old lady now, a shadow of the horse she once was. Edward had always sold horses on once they had succumb to age but Oriarna wouldn’t allow it. Shouting a quick hello to her father along the way she skipped through the stables checking stalls as she went but struggled to find her. She was approaching her twenty fifth year, she was an old lady, and she couldn’t find her! A sickly sinking feeling hit her like a hammer to the stomach. Her father must have noticed her panic. “She’s in the field out back.”

Thank the Maker. “Thanks papa!” 

Of all the sights in the world nothing was as beautiful to Oriarna. Crystal seemed to glow as she slowly trotted towards her and brought her face to Ori’s. “Hello beautiful girl, I missed you.” She was pure white and looked almost ethereal as she moved, her hair gently sailing in the breeze. Ori stroked her softly and smiled. She knew she was too old to be ridden but she certainly wasn’t to old to be pampered. They spent the following few hours together, walking with one another, she talked about Silver and how happy she was at Skyhold, told her about her friends and her Commander. She wasn’t so dense that she believed Crystal understood any of what she was saying but it wasn’t about that. It was about being together and their unbreakable bond. Crystal had mothered two foals in her lifetime, the first, a stallion named Sparks, was sold in his third year. The second, a mare named pearl sadly died shortly after giving birth to Silver. Oriarna had stepped up as soon as pearl passed away, sitting through the night to feed the helpless foal, keeping her clean and warm, helping her feel safe, much the same as her own adoptive parents had her. Oriarna had always had a special bond with both Crystal and Silver. 

Her stomach eventually began to rumble, probably due to her hastily eaten meagre breakfast and she fought to tear herself away and started to make her way back. She was surprised to see a saddled horse hitched just inside the gate as she rounded the stables and headed to the house. She thought maybe her sister or one of her brothers had come calling but surely they would have tracked her down in the field rather than wait for her return.

“You didn’t tell me you were expecting visitors…” her voice trailed off as she caught sight of the guest. 

“Hello my love.”

Ori couldn’t quite believe her eyes and grabbed hold of the dresser to steady herself. She thought for a moment she was dreaming, she hadn’t woken up yet and this was some strange delusion triggered by their separation. Or perhaps her mother had fed her something rotten and she was hallucinating, some mushrooms could be tricky and had interesting side effects. 

“Aren’t you going to say hello to Commander Cullen Oriarna? He’s travelled all this way.” Edward barked humorously, obviously noticing her utter shock and confusion. 

She cautiously walked towards him, silently praying he was real. As she got closer his scent hit her nostrils, that glorious familiar scent of leather and dirt, the scent that made her legs weak and the spot between them pulse with want. She stood, her face inches from his, gazing up at him like she hadn’t seen him for months. “You’re really here.” She brought her fingers to his face, tracing lines down his cheeks and across his stubbled jaw that left his flesh tingling and his heart racing.

“I’m really here my love.”

With that she threw her arms around him, every ache in her heart, all the pain, every ounce of sadness immediately melted away in his arms. Days and miles away from the events at the palace that had momentarily stripped her of all emotion and thought for him, she clung to the man she knew she wanted to be with forever. “You’re here.”

**********

Ori gave Cullen the quick tour of the farm. Hand in hand they strode together and for a short time felt like nothing and nobody existed but the two of them. She led him to a secluded spot overlooking fields of long grass sheltering elfroot and crystal grace, bringing him to a halt at a small clear patch of ground, a small stone laying across the earth read 

 

‘May you find peace by the Makers side.   
Niselle.   
Wife, Mother, Protector.’ 

 

Cullen stayed behind her cradling her waist as she stood quietly a moment. The rise and fall of his solid chest at her back felt divine, his breath on her neck coupled with his strong embrace made her feel like they were joined, they existed as one perfect soul. She leaned into him, eager to get as close as was possible. 

“My father brought me here for the first time when I was nine.” She gazed out over the landscape with a look of calm that made her even more beautiful to him. “Despite it’s purpose, I thought it was the most beautiful place in the whole world.” She turned in his arms and brought her own up and around his neck. “It still is, and now, with you here it’s perfect… but I know we have to go back.”

“Yes. I must to go back Oriarna, you are free to stay if you wish my love.”

She grinned at him and allowed herself a faint chuckle before rising on her toes to meet his lips as she gently pulled him into a kiss so tantalisingly soft he was lost for a moment. “Cullen, my heart is yours. I will not stay somewhere you are not and I wouldn’t allow you to go where I cannot follow.” 

**********

“Where are you going?” Oriarna chirped as she looked up at the carriage on their return to the house. 

“Your mother and I have to go into Denerim, we’ll be back before nightfall.” Her father peered down at Oriarna as Florence clumsily climbed aboard, he had a look of amusement with slight embarrassment on the side as his wife flopped down beside him in perhaps the least graceful way possible. 

“Bring that lot inside if you get chance please darling.” 

Oriarna looked over to the ridiculous amount of laundry still hanging out to dry. “Mother! Are doing laundry for the whole of Ferelden?” She joked as she waved them off. She watched as they disappeared from view and released a contented sign before jogging inside. 

Cullen was removing the last of his armour as she hopped through the door. “My parents are gone.” She wiggled her eyebrows provocatively as a smile crept across his face. She twisted the material of her shirt in her fingers as she walked slowly towards him, deliberately swinging her hips as she glared at him with an almost bewitching pout. “I have to get out of these ‘dirty’ farm clothes Commander.”

“Uhm” Cullen coughed, seemingly a little surprised. “Uhm perhaps there are some clean clothes in your room.”

Playfully she spun round and headed further into the house, turning back briefly to offer what could only be described as an unspoken invitation for him to follow and headed into her room. He followed, not so quickly as to appear too eager, not so slowly that she may think he was hesitating. She stood with her back to the door, Cullen couldn’t see the look of satisfaction she wore as he slowly walked up behind her. Gathering her hair with one hand his fingers curled gently over her shoulder and he carefully pulled at her shirt to expose enough flesh for him to delicately sample her flesh with his tongue. A sharp intake of breath and a soft husky moan let him know his actions were having an effect on her. She unhooked just enough buttons to allow her shirt to slide effortlessly over her shoulders, his fingers left a trail of heat as they carefully guided the material down her arms. 

He smirked at another sharp intake of breath as his touch turned her skin into goose flesh, the achingly slow journey his fingers took over her body led him down her back and round to her hips. He dipped into her waistband with a thumb, testing the material and her resolve all at once. His other hand moved around her waist to unlace her leggings with clever efficiency before easing the material over her hips. She emitted another delicious low pitched moan, his hands sent fire through her limbs as he freed her from her clothing. She chanced a look over her shoulder, his amber eyes bore into her as she slowly turned to face him. 

If his touch wasn’t soft enough, his kiss was even softer, hands finding they’re way to the round fleshy peaks beneath her wild locks. She soon lead her own fingers beneath his shirt, kneading his muscles sensually as their kiss grew deeper. Obviously another unspoken invitation as he withdrew just long enough to pull the offending item over his head before swiftly pulling her back to him. 

His stomach tensed as her nails sent shockwaves through his skin, sliding delicately down his torso towards his painful erection. He took his own sharp breath as she gripped his trousers and began to escort him towards her bed. Still kissing, tongues gliding over one another, he tenderly lowered her onto her bed. He was everywhere, his kiss, his hands, his body pressing down on her, she felt she could come undone right at that moment. 

“Make love to me.” She breathed as he abandoned her lips to seek the sensitive region of her neck he always sought out to bring her to brink of ecstasy. He managed to remove his trousers with alarming speed and was swiftly back over her, eager to resume his work. The weight of his cock setting on her pelvis felt utterly satisfying and utterly sensual and she moaned with pleasure as she felt the warm wetness of his precome as it oozed onto her flesh. Bringing a hand to his aching shaft he manoeuvred his swollen tip to her slick entrance and felt her contract as he brushed over her clit. His entry was slow and controlled despite his urge to plunge deep into her. He groaned with pleasure as she stretched to accommodate him, soft moans escaping between her sighs. The weight of her legs as she wrapped them around his torso pulled him down to fill her causing them both to release a synchronised gasp. She had asked him to make love to her and that’s exactly what he did. Slow, sensual sex. It was the most erotic experience they had ever had. “Cullen…” she managed to whisper “let me…”

He stopped only for a second before firmly gripping her and flipping them both so he now had his back to the mattress and she sat over him, her slender hourglass mounted on his torso sent him wild with lust. She leant forward to deliver a sensual kiss before sitting back. She began to move, slowly at first, trying to find a rhythm, trying to decide what felt good, trying to discover what felt good for him. Grinding back and forth seemed to generate the biggest reaction from them both and she soon found herself crying out as her fingernails bit into his chest, he too was growling with pleasure as his hands guided her hips up and down around his cock as he came closer to his climax. 

There was no need for any stimulation to her engorged clitoris this time, the motion was enough, she could feel it building in her, the sweet tingling spreading through her limbs, the heat flooding her core. She screamed a final time before tightening around him as her orgasm erupted from her. He held onto her, not allowing her to move as he thrust into her from beneath, determined to get another release from her. It felt amazing to her, but she fought with him, her sensitive clit wouldn’t allow her to fully submit and she gasped and moaned above him. She arched forward, biting at his chest, clawing at his arms as he plowed into her forcing another orgasm from her before finally surrendering to his own euphoria. She lay on top of him, kept him inside her, there was something rather pleasurable about the sensation of his warm cum leaking from inside her. He held onto her too, fingers curled around her hair, pressing soft kisses to her sweat glazed brow as his pulse began to slow. 

“Cullen” She whispered as she lay listening to the soothing rhythm of his heart. “I want to return to Skyhold… with you.” She lifted her head to look at him “I love it here, but I have to stay with you, we need to talk about heading back.”

He hummed, knowing full well she was right but feeling guilty for wanting to escape a little longer with her. “We can return as soon as you like my love, don’t you wish to spend more time with your family?”

“Of course.” She placed her head down on his chest, her fingers caressed his skin, still warm with sweat from their exertions. “But I’m afraid if I spend too much time here with you I won’t ever want us to leave… in fact, I think it would be for the best if we left tomorrow. The Inquisition is sure to be missing its Commander.” 

“As you wish my love, can you give me a moment to recover before we speak of such things please?” Cullen pleaded with a hint of playfulness. “We can discuss it later, one thing though…I would prefer you to break the news to your parents.” 

 

**********

As good as their word Oriarna heard her parent’s carriage arriving just as the sun had begun to set. She had brought the mountain of dry washing inside, tidied herself up and remade her bed in the nick of time. She put on her very best ‘I haven’t been fucking the Commander in my bed’ face and went to greet them whilst Cullen lit the fire in the living room. 

Later, they all sat down together after Florence had prepared supper. Sitting around the kitchen table eating together Cullen began to feel guilty again, for him, it was the first time since his childhood that he’d sat down to a home cooked meal with people other than his fellow Templars or soldiers, and he loved it. It was so far removed from everything he was used to but it was something he longed to get used to. Ori’s parents seemed to take the news of their decision to depart for Skyhold the following day rather well. She had no doubt whatsoever that they probably understood Cullen’s arrival at the farm earlier in the day would prompt such a reaction from her and had likely spent the afternoon coming to terms with the idea. 

“That was delicious Mrs Hibbert. I can’t remember the last time I had a meal that good.” 

“Everything you just ate came from this very farm.” She replied with a proud smile. 

“Yes and speaking of the farm, I must do a few checks before we turn in for the night, check the boundaries, count the chickens, make sure they all made it home.” Edward reluctantly got to his feet, his full stomach betraying his eagerness to conclude his evening work. 

Cullen felt a nudge under the table from Oriarna sitting beside him. “Is there anything I can do sir? May I accompany you?”

“Well, of course you can lad, grab a lantern.”

**********

“This is the place, I should stop coming down here really. Too many memories, all of them bad.” Edward stood by the riverside beside Cullen at the spot where he’d found Oriarna on that horrific night all those years ago. There had been little rain in the weeks before and the once raging water was calm as it crept by. “She told me that her real father lives”. He said choking on a slight whimper. He looked at Cullen apologetically, feeling foolish for being responsible for the air of awkwardness that had fallen on the pair. “Make sure she makes her peace with this awfulness please.” Cullen nodded in response and both looked back towards the water as it trickled past. “You will look after my girl won’t you Commander?”

“Of course I will. I didn’t know Edward. I would not have let her find out in the manner in which she did had I known.” Cullen looked out across the water deep in thought. He couldn’t imagine how frightening it must have been for both Oriarna and her father, the anguish he must have felt at losing her, the inner battle he must have endured every minute of every day in his life since that night. It brought him to the realisation that he couldn’t ever lose her, he couldn’t ever leave her. He was hers forever. 

They stood together by the river a moment before starting the short walk back towards the house. The chickens were all inside, the pens and gates were all secured, the farm had a stillness that was so soothing that Cullen felt one could easily forget the rifts and demons that threatened Thedas. 

“Before we go inside Edward, there was something I wished to ask.”

**********

“I’m sorry about this, my parents are very… traditional. I’m sure you’ll find Marcus’ room comfortable.” Oriarna led Cullen into her brother’s bedroom and turned down the bed. “I’m surprised they’re not making you sleep in the barn, although this room is the one furthest away from mine.” she turned to him with a seductive smile and took a step towards him. “they’re very protective over their sweet…” another step, “charming,” another step, “innocent…” and another step taking her close enough to feel the heat radiating from his body “papa!”

“Not interrupting am I?” Edward stood in the doorway grinning whilst Florence peered around him into the room. Cullen instinctively rushed to stand behind Ori in a vain attempt to hide his inappropriately timed erection. Both looked as guilty as sin, cheeks flush embarrassment at the shock intrusion. 

“I was just saying goodnight.” She glanced over her shoulder “so…um, goodnight Cullen.” Quietly ending her farewell with a whispered ‘I love you’ before scuttling round her parents to her room. 

“I hope you’ll be comfortable in here Commander, it’s the nicest of the boys rooms, we keep it… just so.” Edward surveyed the room with a proud but mournful look. “He was nine when he left, not too long after little Oriarna came into our lives.”

“Thank you sir, this is… very nice.” Edward nodded kindly before ushering Florence away and closing the door. Cullen exhaled as he perched on the bed. The room was cosy, remnants of a child’s past littering the shelves and furniture. Toy soldiers stood guard on the windowsill above a box of wooden swords, slingshots and various other war related toys. He had been thirteen when he joined the Templars, older than most new recruits. He hadn’t ever asked Oriarna at what age her brother had left to begin his training. It saddened him to look around the room, it was almost as if it were frozen in time, as if by keeping the room this way, Florence and Edward retained a piece of their boy. 

Cullen groaned appreciatively as he climbed into bed, as was his custom after weeks of travel had seen him sleeping on cold bedrolls and damp floors. Just knowing she was only down the corridor, as frustrating as it was, filled him with a sense of comfort and he fell asleep that night without fear.


End file.
